My job? I stab people until they bleed, then I walk away!

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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I also play with peepee and poopoo, and all the rest of the icky stuff that comes out of your bodies!

AND I GET PAID FOR IT!

Can it get any better than this?!

Can you guess where I work?

You're in the medical profession, presumably pathology.

Close.... I'm pathological and not very professional about my medicine

Actually, I've posted what I do elsewhere on WP... I forgot when I started this little game

Yeah, I work in a hospital lab.
I actually enjoy the contact with the patients... most of them anyway.

But I really do get to poke them with a sharp object and make them bleed, and sometimes they even thank me for it.

Guess the same could be said about body piercing.

With all the people I've seen over the years in my various medical jobs (ambulance driver, lab, emergency room, blood bank), I can say with the utmost certainty that everyone's a bit whacked!

From where I sit, I can see the same potential in everyone I meet to do some of the worst things imaginable... it's just that some have more restrain than others.

I have no idea where I'm going with this at all...

I have no idea where your going with this either,but I thought it was pretty funny.

I shovel poo,get clawed and slobbered on and occassionaly humped.Wanna switch jobs?I'll bet you make more,too.

At first I thought you might work in a dairy, but the 'get clawed' thing has made me think a veterinarian's office.

After reading my opening post, I've started feeling a bit embarassed about the way I wrote the whole thing.... one of my childish, impulsive moments

Forever embarassing myself... forever having people move s-l-o-w-l-y away from me

I came up with the line, "I stabbed him and stabbed him again, and he bled! Then I just walked away!", to describe my job once. A nurse I told that to related a story to me...

When he and a friend graduated from nursing school and passed their boards, his friend held up his license and said, "Now we have a license to kill!".

I have never worked anywhere in the medical field where there wasn't some bit of morgue humor.

Well I'm glad you didnt guess prostitute....cause the pay would probably better but the clients wouldnt be as cute.I work at Petsmart "hotel" for dogs.The funny thing about the doggy humping(when ISNT that funny?),is I always think about a comedian I saw who was talking about a little boy going into a neighbors yard to get his loat baseball(he was dared by some older boys who said it was an attack dog) and the dog started humping his leg and he says....."He likes me,he really likes me"....Some how my co-workers dont find that funny....maybe because I'm not a 6 year old kid???


I had a friend who worked in surgery and said the humor there was brutal towards the unconcious pateints......makes me a little nervious about anisthetia.....that and them sewing you up with sponges and forceps in you....ah,good times.


aspie humor runs into the dark and absurd....the thing that reflect our daily reality.I have heard the same about Jewish humor..hummmm,wonder what connection there could be there

Yep! That's one of the things I found intriguing here. I do enjoy the humor around this place.

I torture people for my job - torture them until all their muscles are burning and they are puffing and puffing and sweating.

Helen

You're a DRILL SERGEANT?

Physiotherapist, actually, if I recall.

I pretend to be happy to ppl whilst plying them with ethanol-based beverages. Sometimes they try to talk to me. I don't get paid enough.

Bar waitress.

I don't get paid. I hemmorhage my brain trying to think of remotely original ways to do things on something that's been done already. It is supposedly something that should make me either more smart, or more employable, but in fact it is causing both to go down.

you must be a PhD student then...

I invent new names for things that have existed for millions of years and were quite happy to just exist anyway. I also invent methods for finding organisms that like to make other organisms sick.

if the daily mail writers were looking here for something to manipulate about autism,they would probably look at the title of this and write an article about how 'monsterous ASDers are all murderers',or how additives cause ASDers to do this.

what exactly do stab people for? is it to get flesh,or blood?

I'm guessing he's talking about needles for blood draws/injections.

Microbiologist?
Parasitologist?



Hospital Laboratory... CPT1 (fancy name for a phlebotomist... although I do more than just phlebotomy), I draw blood through needles, process body fluids and tissues for testing.

For some reason, I'm quite comfortable with the work but my daughter is a complete GERMAPHOBE (as she calls herself). I would have figured all those years of hearing work-related stories at the dinner table would have de-sensitized her towards yucky stuff.