riverotter wrote:
People want a good-old-boy, frat boy, back-slapping buddy at work, and he will never be that. Want honesty and an old-fashioned work ethic? He is your man.
That's my "boss." If it were up to him, I would have been fired by now for not being his buddy. Yesterday, he spent about an hour and a half laughing it up with other co-workers while I stayed at my desk working. I prefer to stay at my desk. Yet he could not help making personal insulting comments about me and mock my work ethic. He is not the first manager who has done this to me. I always think it must trash productivity if as a manager you set this kind of example, but it must be common. I guess the fake projection of authority is more important than productivity. When he complains about me, he actually needs to be reminded by his higher ups: "This guy is your most productive and valuable worker! You're not going to replace him."
We need to seperate getting along with your co-workers from "playing the game." I am always respectful, honest and helpful to my co-workers. I never say one bad word about anyone, yet I always run into trouble for taking my job seriously. I refuse to be this guy's "buddy" for the sake of employment because part of that requires participating or approving of his demeaning, insulting activities. Part of it can be social difficulties, but it can also be holding onto some ethics, integrity and dignity.
It's really bad among men: tying self-worth and the hunter-gatherer mentality to their careers. My most pleasant work experience was an office dominated by women, but that didn't pay. My last 2 jobs were stressful and annoying, usually due to the testosterone level. On both jobs, men have talked about "settling things in the parking lot" to me because I'm too damn independent and feel my work speaks for itself. It's ridiculous. They're obviously threathen by my good work. But that's all it is -- talk, talk, talk. You should see how these guys cower when they think their job is threatened.