I know people probably laugh at me behind my back at work...

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Norah_W
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21 Feb 2008, 1:44 pm

The owner's assistant will call when the owner is in talking to my boss, and ask me to ask the owner something. It's usually something technical having to do with the business we do. Because I'm in accounting, not the field there will be terms I'm unfamiliar with. I'll repeat what he said to make sure i have it correctly, and he'll go "Oh that's OK, I'll ask him!" Today I just said "NO, let me ask him."

This person used to be friendly towards me before he had the job as assistant to the owner of the company. Now he acts funny towards me and I think he and some of the other younger people think I'm a joke. This seems to happen wherever I work; yet if I ask a friend about it they deny it.



duncansbass
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21 Feb 2008, 2:25 pm

What can you do? You are doing exactly as you should, NT or otherwise, and to do any less would be a slight bit of negligence on your part. What, are you supposed to NOT ask about terms you're unfamiliar with and just repeat what you THOUGHT was meant?

The business world can be kind of like the playground when we were younger. You have bullies. You have cliques, etc. When he got his job, he had a chance to fit with the big dogs. He may be whispering behind his hand, so to speak, about you to them as a way of fitting in. And of course no one is gonna tell you they are doing that. You might sue. And they might have to face the consequences of their actions.

Unfortunately, you're just going to have to hang in there.


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Norah_W
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21 Feb 2008, 4:51 pm

He can be a butt at times, and he's obviously trying to be a big shot with the owners. But I was talking about other people in the company as well, people who don't work in the accounting dept. like I do but aren't management either. I think they all think I'm weird/not worth being nice to or friendly to. part of it is that accounting is upstairs, in a different office space than everyone else and we don't see them very much--they kind of forget about us, I think. But I've always been the odd one out no matter where I work.



daveybaby
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22 Feb 2008, 10:45 am

Its discrimination, and yeah, you can tell one of the bosses. If you show a sign of weakness, then they're going to bully you. Do whatever you can to assert yourself, suggest you will sue.



orangered
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22 Feb 2008, 6:32 pm

Norah_W wrote:
I think they all think I'm weird/not worth being nice to or friendly to.

I think most people are weird and I do not smile at anybody unless I remind myself that I should. So count me in.

You do not need to worry that you do not understand technical stuff that is not your job.
You do not need to worry that they think you are weird.
You do not need to worry even when they laugh at your dress, they still may like you.

You only need to worry, when someone is trying to inflate at your expense (such as claiming you do not do well your job, or claiming some fault were yours when they weren't, or shifting his/her work on you). In such a case, if you can't fight, it is better to consider another job.

Of course, if you wish to be more friendly with your colleagues, you should consider changes on your side. Anyway, do not expect everybody will be friendly in return, people are not made this way.



Rainstorm5
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23 Feb 2008, 3:19 pm

Norah_W wrote:
I think they all think I'm weird/not worth being nice to or friendly to.


The story of my (job) life. I'm in the same boat you are. I've actually walked past employees who were talking about me while in the halls or out in the smoking area (I tread quietly, so most of the time they don't hear me approach, LOL) and I hear my name spoken, usually in low, snotty tones. Of course they shut up as soon as they see me. It irritates me because it seems like so much schoolyard BS, and that people need to grow up. I KNOW people talk about me behind my back at work, but I make an effort to smile at them and say 'hi' anyway, even if all I get in return is a sneer of disgust. Some people have finally begun to warm up toward me, but it's taken 2 years to get there. Oddly enough, it's other women that I have this problem with. Women just do not like me, period, and I've never been able to figure out why. I get along with men well enough, though. Again, I've no idea why.

I wish I could tell you that there's an easier way, but like OrangeRed says so eloquently, just keep being friendly and persist with what you are doing. It took me over 30 years to realize that it ultimately doesn't matter what other people around me think. Once you can let go of that for good, it does get better.


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