Problem with maintaining work

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As the subject says, I have a problem maintaining work. I have a serious issue with making it to work 40 hours a week. I feel the need to take more than the average number of breaks and long lunches, to prepare myself for returning to work. Also, every other week, I have to take a day off mid-workweek. I lose a lot of jobs simply because I cannot bring myself to work so damn much. I also sleep in a lot, I'm late almost every damn day.

I've had this issue for years now, and I'm getting better, but only marginally. I dunno what to do with myself except get a job where I can work from home...somehow.

I used to be a chronic late person. I fixed the problem by:

1) pretending I had to be there a lot earlier than I really did

2) developing a system for getting ready for work, something that takes a predictable amount of time

3) beginning to get ready about an hour before I have to leave

You just have to train yourself by making your workday schedule a habit that you must follow to the letter everyday. There are days when I want so badly to sleep in (and I'm chronically fifteen minutes late to work every day, so I know how it is), but I force myself to get up and go in. If I don't, I'll lose m car, my house and god only knows what else. Something tells me that you have other income or else someone is supporting you partially (or totally) right now, or else you'd take your jobs more seriously. If that's the case, you may not be able to take your job seriously until you HAVE TO, like I did. Doing without a car, food in the fridge, electricity and other necessities does tend to change one's mind about working - really quick. Just force yourself to stick to your schedule. There's no other way to do it.

It causes permanent burnout too. Don't forget, for a lot of people with AS a few hours of interacting with others is completely exhausting so a 40 hour work week feels like twice that. Necessity doesn't relieve exhaustion, it makes you ignore it. This can only be done for so long, however, before you have to pay the toll.

I've been unemployed for quite some time now and I quite enjoy it. You know, more me time? But it is coming close for me to find new employment; no more living off of parents.

More like 40 times that, haha.

Oh sure, yeah... I used to tell myself this all the time... every time I left another job!

Contrary to what you are pushing here Rainstorm5, not everyone can just 'make' themselves do things they normally have trouble with... their brain just doesn't work that way!

I have had the bank asking for things back like my Harley, Truck,etc. and I desperately wanted to do better... I tried, but couldn't do it the way everyone was telling me to... just like the advice you give above.

This sounds so much like the same old, "Well, just put your mind to it! I can... so can you!" attitude that doesn't really mean much.

Just because you feel like you've been successful at following your own advice doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.

Doing without things like electricity, water, a roof over my head, etc., does suck... but it has never MADE me change my attitude.
My attitude has always been to try as hard as I can to make it to work on time, stick with one job for more than a few weeks or months, pay my bills on time, etc.

This is perhaps the silliest comment of the bunch...


Sure... I've been 'forcing' myself for most of my 47 years on this planet... please... tell me that I am not being 'forceful' enough with myself.... please!

Sorry if you or anyone else does not like my tone here.
It really irritates me when some people make it sound as though folks like me aren't trying hard enough.
If it were so goddamned easy I wouldn't have suffered like I have all these years.
I'd be a f*****g millionare!

And

I wouldn't need Wrong Planet to see there are other people like me who just aren't 'forcing' themselves enough!


There... I feel all better now...

Legato,

Just try to be more serious with your life.... aww forget it! I ain't going down THAT road again!

Seriously,

Are you going to school also or planning on going to school of some sort?

Do you think working two part-time jobs might be better than working one full-time job?

I have to say that I got lucky with my current employer.
I am able to vary my schedule as long as I get my full hours in each payperiod (actually as long as my shift is covered, they don't worry if I'm getting paid for it, but they don't like to pay overtime for someone to cover for me).
They have been very patient with me and my being late, or not remembering that I have been scheduled for a day/shift I do not normally work.

Out of 40 jobs in my adult life, this has been the best by far when it comes to employee/employer relations.

Perhaps it's the type of work you do.
What type of job do you currently do, what have you done in the past, and what would you really like to be doing as far as a job?

If you were to work from home or on your own (self-employed), would you be able to maintain a work schedule on your own?
I used to shoe horses and I struggled with building up my client list, and getting to someone's barn/house on time.
The on time part wasn't as much of a factor with some clients though.

Have you gone to an Employment Services office like a county or state run office?
They should have things that might help you out.
They might be able to help find a job that suits you better.

How about working for a TEMP agency... where you sign up and they call you when there is work available.
Sometimes it's short contracts with companies, so you don't stay a long time and are never really one of the group there.
Sometimes when the contract is over, the company offers permanent employment.

How about a Civil Service job with the government (I'm talking U.S. here).
Once you're in, it's not easy to get rid of you... lots of paperwork, documentation, meetings, etc., and they do have to follow the ADA.

As far as personal strategies... I wish I knew of some magical, sure-fire method like some other people seem to know!

EvilKimEvil offered up some ideas of what she does.
For me... I finally got a PDA and it has been loads of help reminding me when I need to do things.
As far as getting to work on time, getting back from breaks and lunch on time...
I tend to just forget about breaks unless the people I work with really push me to take one. It's just easier to keep working for me.
Lunch... I take a timer with me and set it as I clock out for lunch. I set it to allow me time to get back to the clock and check in.

I was thinking you were saying that you needed time to 'emotionally' prepare to go back to work.
If that's the case... why? Is it the people you work with? The job you do? The long day?
These are things you may need to work with a coach on or a therapist, if you cannot work it out on your own.

For ADD/HD, there are people who are Coaches... ones you pick like a friend or relative... or ones you hire.
Since I don't know what your job is like, how valued you are at work, etc, I don't know if you can ask for a coach at work.
This isn't someone who babysits you all day long... just someone who can check in on you from time-to-time to see that you are sticking with some sort of plan, and/or helps you develop that plan.

Same thing with sleeping in late and getting to work late because of that... perhaps you know someone who would be nice enough to call you every workday for a week or two at a time that allows you to get up early enough and make it to work on time?
This could just be temporary until you create a mindset that makes it a normal routine like brushing your teeth, etc.

In the end, you will have to find a strategy that works for you. No one else can honestly claim their strategy will work for you 'if only you try hard enough'.

Another suggestion I have is to look at what you're most successful at in your life and see if you can figure out why and apply that to work.

Beyond that... I don't have anything else.

Best wishes though!

What you don't understand is that I've been in your EXACT position for many years. I've gained and lost more jobs than I can count. Just last year, I got my 3rd vehicle repo'd in 5 years. My credit rating blows- hard - and I've had to move back and forth across the country 3 times in 10 years. I made a giant mess that I finally had to literally FORCE myself to clean up. I'm still not out of it yet, but things are looking up now - for once. I'm already thinking of excuses to quit the job I have but I keep telling myself to hang in there because I need my job and CAN'T AFFORD to FAIL again.


I'm not handing out platitudes, I'm just being real. I hope you don't feel I'm looking down on you, because I'm not. Sometimes the hardest things in life to do just have to be done whether we like them or not. It's taken me 25 years of hard-living and much loss to learn this. When I speak, whether you believe it or not, I'm speaking from experience.



Successful? Hardly. I'm just getting by. But as turbulent as my life has been, 'getting by' is good enough for me.



Well, that's all you can do - that's all anyone can do. But you never explained why it's hard? For me, sticking to something was hard because I lose focus and get depressed when things start to go wrong. Inevitably, things will always get screwed up, but somehow you have to pull yourself together and get through it. After a while, the focus comes back and things DO get better.



We all have to 'make' ourselves do things to survive. Hell, some days I have to force myself to eat because I get so busy or caught up in what I'm doing that I forget all about food. I've been forcing myself to adhere to a schedule for 10 years now, and though I keep slipping up, I get right back on it again. There's nothing more disheartening than to watch everything I've gained go bye-bye because of one screw-up. And yes, it keeps happening - even to me. I never once claimed to be 'successful,' but I manage. That's all me, you or anyone can do unless you're filthy rich.



No, your tone is fine. There's nothing wrong with disagreeing with someone and/or getting upset at what they say. I do the same.



Well, I never once said it was easy - ever. I know very well that it isn't easy. I wish for your sake it were. I alone support my family as they are unable to find work in this recession. I do it on a measly hourly wage, too. I can't afford high-speed internet, don't have cable, have one crappy car and I have to make macaroni and cheese 4 out of 7 nights a week just to put something in everyone's stomachs. I am very ill and quite possibly may have cancer, but I can't afford to go to the doctor right now to even get my blood pressure meds filled, let alone all the other crap I have to take. I have to get up at 6AM and drive 45 miles to work (one way) and spend a 1/4 of my pay just on gas to get there. I drive home at night, alone, in the dark, after being gone for 12 hours. I know about suffering, and if I can manage to get up every morning and do the same thing every day, day in/day out, so can someone else. If I can manage to get through another day without fainting from chronic anemia (which I've already done twice now at work), I count my blessings. Every day that I can wake up and face the sun without wanting to shed all of these burdens and slit my own throat, I count that a good F**ing day.

In short, my post was only telling the original poster that yes, it CAN be done, he just has to WANT to. Nothing more, nothing less. Yeah, you may have heard it before, but this time you're hearing from a person with AS/ADD/OCD, and maybe even a touch of paranoid schizophrenia. If I can find hope in the few bright spots in life to get me by, then it's not 'silly' to try and pass that one to someone else. I'm not saying you're wrong, and I might even agree with you, but what does that change? Nothing. I'm not telling you how to live your life, I'm just telling you how I'm managing to scrape by in mine. Take it, leave it or burn it. Your choice.



I certainly hope so.

After our exchange of PM's I was wondering what you might write here...

All's Well

Sorry to hear about your situation.
Glad to hear you find success in your life to feel good about and I do hope you make it better eventually.

I also speak from experience, but won't go into details here.... I've spread a load of details out in different places here at WP.

Also, I didn't mean to make this thread about me.
Since I'm not the OP, I feel a bit sheepish apparently having done so.

Ah, don't worry about it. This thread needed a little excitement anyway. All's well that ends well.

Bet wishes,

Jillian

I can't work full-time at all. I cut my expenses waaaaaay down (like moving out of my apt and renting a room instead), so that I could exist on a pt job, at least for now.

My plan is to get a second pt job, which for some reason I feel will be easier for me than being stuck in the same place all the time. Also, when I'm a pt worker, it's not as big a deal if I miss work once in awhile; I have less responsibility, so they're not as dependent on me being there.

I have the same problem you have Legato. I found that the root of my problem was I hated my job--as in, I was in the wrong field. I used to be a programmer analyst, and, truth be told, I absolutely hated it! Not everyone on the autism spectrum is a math whiz or computer geek. In fact, some of us have discalcula and abhor computers. I don't have discalcula, but I do abhor computer programming. I had to work extra hard just to be mediocre. If I never see another line of code again, it will be too soon! Boring! Ugh!

It also didn't help that I was an undiagnosed Aspie who didn't have a clue to his own autism. My social awkwardness and problems multi-tasking--common problems with Aspies/autistics--got me singled out for bullying. This only soured my enthuasism for information technology and corporate American even more.

Now I'm in graduate school full time working on my Master's in literary studies. I went back to my first love: the humanities. I intend to teach.

I'm willing to bet that people tell you to find your talent and go in that direction. And you say, "But what if I don't have a special talent?" I know its frustrating when people assume that being on the autism spectrum means you are a savant. The fact is, only a small number of people on the autism spectrum have a special talent. Still, you may have a special interest.

My advice is for you to go to your local community college's advising center and take an interest inventory and skills inventory. That's what I did, and I'm glad I did it. Also, I noticed in your profile that you are an undiagnosed Aspie. I think you should see a specialist and find out precisely what neurological issues you are dealing with. That will help you, too. I started out as self-diagnosed, but I found a specialist and had it confirmed. I also learned about a comorbid condition that I didn't know I had (disorder of written expression).

I hope this helps you. Please PM me an tell me how you are doing.

David