Workplace Bullying

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Sure, us Aspies often have problems in the workplace. But from reading all the posts here, and from my own life experiences, I believe that our most significant problem is that we are frequently targetted by workplace bullies. Why? - because we are more likely to have a strong sense of integrity, to be direct and honest, to be professional in our interactions with others in the workplace, to be competent or rapidly developing competency, to have a very strong set of values, to be highly ethical, etc, etc, etc. Focusing on our Aspie traits and difficulties negotiating the NT world, prevents us from identifying bullying behaviour - particularly the very subtle and insidious forms, and from holding these bullies accountable for their actions.

To any of you who are experiencing problems in the workplace - by all means learn NT social skills so that you can understand NTs and blend in if you must, but also do some research into workplace bullying:

http://www.kickbully.com

http://www.bullyoffline.org

http://www.bullyinginstitute.org

http://www.beyondbullying.co.nz

It's sad that all I have to do is show up for work on time, do what I'm expected to do, and do it with fewer mistakes than others (which is fairly easy), and as a result, some of my co-workers see fit to try to bully, intimidate, or trick me into screwing up and getting fired. Either that, or they try to find some way to blame me for their own incompetence.

Hi Fnord. Yes it is sad. It is also ABSOLUTELY OUTRAGEOUS!! !!

a bully is just a coward with muscles. Depending on the company, there can be consequences for bullying. Show up, do a better job, and stay on the bosses' good side. And make sure there's witnesses when they try things. Works for me.

people wAs will be sensed out by non AS.
we dont have the ability, or desire to connect with them and this alarms them.
please note that there is an underlying desire for nonAS to connect with others, to feel on the same wavelength as others and in time to be able to manipulate this connection.

so a simple chat about the weather is underpinned with non-AS inferences and probing to see where you are in the scheme of things.

With AS, there is less of this going on, the non-As get concerned and alarmed thet cant read you and tend to reject this inecplicable behaviour.

we do get bullied all our lives so often that we wont notice it.

ok ok......i guess the point is if we CAN understand the non-AS motivation to perceived bullying, then perhaps we as AS and AS advisors can help to curtail over reacting to it.

Well personally, I don't give a damn what motivates the bullies. All I know is that it is totally unacceptable, inexcusable, cruel, appalling, intolerable behaviour.

As for curtailing over reactions - well, we can do that without bothering about bullies' motivations. We all know that we don't have to 'go postal'

This website: http://www.kickbully.com gives loads of tips for how to handle bullies.

I volunteer at a soup kitchen filled with queen bees and back stabbers. They don't seem to have any feelings, and they're very lazy listeners. I especially can't stand the youngest one who goes there with her mother, who's 19 years old and has an attitude problem. I do enjoy the work, though. I enjoy the food prep, and the dish washing. I also like the food that we serve to the poor and homeless. I guess that most mainstream people don't just grow up, after graduating from high school. I've found out that they keep the same vicious attitude, their whole entire lives. I would never listen half heartedly to a person who speaks with an accent different from my own, or the North American one that I hear, everywhere. I know what it feels like, when even grown women do that to me.

I was really bullied badly by a boss a few years ago... it really messed me up at the time and I couldn't stand up for myself because I didn't know what to do. I f*****g hate that guy...

I think it has more to do with just being a nasty person. If you want some tips on how to handle a workplace bully, read the 'Field Guide' on this website:

http://www.kickbully.com

If you happen to live in the USA, here is a website where you can get some good advice about workplace bullying legal issues:

www.undercoverlawyer.com

Score: 1 to Aspie, 0 to bullying NT co-worker

I am being targetted by two of my co-workers, and I am fighting it. Now one of them is leaving

One down - one to go!

I've never had any patience with bullying in the workplace. I used to work in a pub as a dishie/food prep guy, and one of the cooks used to try and antagonize me pretty regularly. Generally I ignored it because I got along well with everyone else and, in my view, if somebody is ignorant enough to hate me even though I did nothing wrong, thats not my problem, but theirs. In any case, the guy finally pushed me too far by taking a hot pan off of the stove and pushing it up against my arm, the scar from this I still have. I went and took care of the burn, then decided that I wasn't going to let the little s**t get away with it; I took a bunch of pub glasses, put them in his work bag, then threw it down some stairs a few times to make sure it'd be filled with broken glass; then I took one of the hot pans and shoved it up against his back. Needless to say he wasn't particularly happy but the boss prevented him from trying to fight me. After that he never bothered me again. I don't condone violence but some people need to be put in their place and I hope he'll think twice before he shows such cruelty to quiet, innocent people he thinks won't hit back.