Struggling Boss

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Wow, I have no idea if I am in the right job and working hard or in the wrong job and stuffing things up due to my asperger's. I have started a crisis care service and love responding to crisis care cases because I get to use my ability to stay cool and organised. But, then I have to other end of things when staff say ' you wouldn't understand' your an aspie, and government department contacts say Im too blunt in my emails, but I think Im to the point. Most of the time Im really successful and services call us because they know we will handle things well. Its the horrible unbetween parts I am struggling with . I just can not figure out a way to know the difference between me having a drama relating to asperger's or just others having difficulties because its a high stress environment. Somtimes Im just not sure. I power through and just keep telling myself I have been doing this for so long now Im sure I know what Im doing. I use my business partner usually as a sounding board but he's sick so Im just going it alone. So far so good but Im sure theres another aspie moment around that corner.

Sounds like a typical civil service response. Civil servants don't like directness because this usually leaves only one outcome - i.e. a decision must be taken and most civil servants couldn't take a decision to save their life.

If you depend on the government departments for business, you may need to tone down what you say to them. I am having an extreme difference of opinion with a group that I am a member of, primarily due to this type of situation. I was a committee member of the assocition. There is an event that the association should have made an issue about because the raison d'etre of the association is to respond to these types of events - however, because most of the committee members are professionals ( in that they derive a living from the activity) and depend on contracts from the government departments that have taken the decision that goes against the aims and objectives of the association, they will say nothing. As a result, I resigned from the committee.

If this is your livelihood, you don't have that option and will need to find some way to sugar coat the pill for the government departments in your email - even if this goes against your inate AS outlook.

Your description of the government department is right on the ball. I completely agree. I always seem to have that balancing act where sometimes I think I need to be assertive but I also want to sugar coat my aspie pill, so to speak. Thanks for the responce.

Additionally if you are too blunt you place a civil servant in a legal bind, because legally they are required to do something immeidately, but legally due to bureaucratic regulation they can't act immediately.

If your subtle, though they can do what needs to be done without having that legal issue.

Also, sometimes civil servants will presume you are blaming them for their inability to act promptly. This can be cumbersome as then their emotions get in the way of their job, and they usually accidentally take it out on everyone around them, including you. To avoid this, adding, "I know it's not your fault" and other such wording to your statements can always help.

Even when I'm dealing with a government contractor, in which case I'm more blunt about my opinion of the contractor, I make sure the person knows that my grievance is with their employer, not them, and I know their in the lousy position of trying to get their boss to listen to the complaints of the people who they talk with every day on the phone.

Frankly, even more NTs have problems with this than Aspies, as rather than being blunt and leaving it out, the NTs will actually go and misplace blame.