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Miyah
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01 Apr 2009, 4:51 pm

Today at work, people say random jokes to each other which was funny. However, the bosse's brother stuck a, "Kick Me," sign on my back during lunch today when I wasn't paying attention. I had worn it for 3 hours and people came in and made comments like, "So, we're back to highschool again are we?" I asked them what was going on and he told me that I would get mad and kill someone if he told me. At 3:30 today, the brother came in and took the sign off and I laughed at first. However, I felt humilated, hurt and threatened to call my job coach. However, the boss got annoyed and told me to stop and that it was April Fool's Day.

I mean, I am a geek and I constantly feel like no one takes me very serius there because it's a work program. Moreover, I have been there 5 years and feel like the laughing stalk because I plan to go to school and get my master's in clinical psychology and make some real money. Infact, the bass made snotty comments that she thought maybe working as a therapist would be tough. If that isn't enough, she has a son with low functioning Autism and I feel like she is jealous of me for being on the higher end of the spectrum.

Am I overreacting?



01 Apr 2009, 5:32 pm

Does she know you are on the spectrum too?



The prank did sound childish. I mean this is work, not school and they are all over 18, not still children. I would expect that out of elementary students or teens but not from grown ups. If they played a joke on everyone, then that would be different because there be no hurt feelings and no one will feel humiliated or embarrassed because it happened to all of them.



xalepax
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01 Apr 2009, 5:43 pm

OMG! such a nightmare situation....Im sorry you got such an experience :( I would have felt so incredible humiliated and hurt that I would die out of it.....no not really but I wouldnt be able to cope with such a situation, it would kill my soul....I would certainly overreact to the extreme so I cant say you did overreact...


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Ladarzak
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01 Apr 2009, 6:05 pm

We had an inappropriate joke by the boss today, too, played on everyone. I'm still shaking my head. We must learn not to take these things personally and view them as an indication of the bad judgment (my boss) or mean spirit (yours) of these people.

Sorry you were singled out.



NomadicAssassin
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01 Apr 2009, 6:21 pm

Well it wasn't in a working place, but i had that done to me once in 8th, yeah i wasn't aware it was there for the whole day until i got home :( . Sorry you had to go through it, but i can say this, i can relate.


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sillyputty
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01 Apr 2009, 7:00 pm

Sorry you had to go through that :( .


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gbollard
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01 Apr 2009, 9:47 pm

No, you're not over-reacting but you can't really get mad... especially not at the Boss' brother.

Instead, I'd suggest that you assume that he's set a precedent and either....

- Stick something on him
- Do something to his cubicle.

Note that you can't reduce his work productivity (like sticky-taping his phone receiver to the phone) but you can make a mildly insulting "gesture" because if the boss accepted one form of humiliation, he's set a precedent for others to follow.



BitterGeek
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01 Apr 2009, 9:52 pm

It's not really appropriate. In some cases it can be construed as creating a hostile work environment.



TitusLucretiusCarus
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02 Apr 2009, 1:20 pm

you're not overreacting at all.

Under UK employment law a case can be made for harrassment in the work place. The key part being that how the actions of others made you feel outweighs by far their intentions, ("I felt humilated, hurt"), furthermore, as your manager has not taken any action your employer (the company as a whole) is now responsible for what took place under vicarious liability.

Are you working in the uk? i suggest contacting a union rep (even if you're not a member it's worth havin a chat with them), the superior of your immediate manager, looking into the complaints process your employer has in place and going from that point. If your manager's superior does not take some form of action to satisfactorily address your complaint within a reasonable period of time at this point you should then go to their superior. I imagine that this person will be sufficiently annoyed that his/her subordinates have not managed your complaint correctly (not only bad management but opening the organisation up to litigation) that a whole sh*t storm will brew on the horizon and they will take action themselves. Should this fail then it is time to go to the mattresses. Seek professional legal advice by all means open to you.

Do not accept any form of harrassment or bullying.
Do not tolerate any form of harassment or bullying.
Do not propagate any form of harassment or bullying.
Know your rights!

edited for coherence and better rhetoric :wink:



gbollard
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02 Apr 2009, 3:21 pm

TitusLucretiusCarus wrote:
Do not propagate any form of harassment or bullying.


This is probably right, though I hate to admit it.

Although the boss has set a precedent, you'll get better protection if you report the problem if you don't do anything in retaliation.



zer0netgain
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03 Apr 2009, 6:44 am

On one level, I say you're probably overreacting.

If people don't know you have AS, they may not have intended the joke to go as far as it did. I should tell you the "Norwegian Stick" joke my "friends" pulled on me in college.

The danger I think many AS people suffer with is that we are prone to overreact because we see something as it appears but miss the subtly that give it proper form.

It was a joke. Unlikely intended to be cruel or hurtful. Only by looking at the incident in context with other similar incidents can you better judge how malicious or benign it was intended to be.



886
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03 Apr 2009, 6:18 pm

you are terribly over-reacting.

s**t like this happens all the time at my job. i can't tell you how many hazardous materials stickers i've had put on my back.


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gbollard
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03 Apr 2009, 6:43 pm

886 wrote:
you are terribly over-reacting.

sh** like this happens all the time at my job. i can't tell you how many hazardous materials stickers i've had put on my back.


If this is happening at your job then you should do something about it before you lose all your self esteem - this is abuse. A proper workplace isn't like that.



kissmyarrrtichoke
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12 Apr 2009, 1:35 pm

That's cruel. I went ballistic the day after I found someone had put chewing gum under my ponytail and a boy in my class mentioned it to me the next day. I had to cut that piece of hair out by myself that evening with no help and not a soul had told me it was there. I still don't know who did it, but I am wary of tying my hair up now.