homework - I hate it!

Post Reply New Topic

My son brought home a homework chart yesterday. It gave me a bad feeling. I don't approve of forcing kids who are learning to enjoy books to read. I don't approve of forcing kids to write bull about the books they read.

Then my husband sends me this message:
"when I got up today B. wasn't in his room. it even looked like his bed had been made. I was a little freaked for a minute
turned out he was in the kitchen struggling with homework, that he'd gotten up to work on because he was worried about it
he was supposed to write down the "most important part" of the stuff he'd read from sideways stories and wasn't sure what it was.

talked with him for a while and we agreed that the most important thing in a book like that is to be funny, and he did have an opinion about the funniest part. so he wrote that down. "the most important thing in this book is to be funny and the funniest part is Mrs. Jewls thinking her kids are monkeys."
he was fretful because there wasn't much space to write that, though. I think he needs a lesson in "good enough" "

Very true about learning about "good enough" but this whole thing makes me sick. My son, the great sleeper, waking up early because he was so stressed about his stupid homework. If the teacher does not accept that as an appropriate answer, I am pulling him out of that class so fast you will see the dust.

I agree. I think a lot of homework is purposeless. I especially hate when they require you to make a poster of something, for instance, and only that. What if you learn better by writing an essay instead of making a poster? What if you get a bad grade in a presentation because you can't make eye contact (yes, they do grade on that?)

I read a lot. People get different things out of books. I think it is a discouragement to present reading as something you have to analyze-- I thought that was something that came naturally with reading. A lot of the things that come from reading can be personal. To me it is absolutely incomprehensible that in school you have to write very personal essays-- about life-altering experiences, life history, worst memories, etc. Perhaps it is just easier for some people to write about themselves and that is why it is such a frequent occurrence. If a teacher creates this type of assignment; I assume they are nosey though.

It doesn't seem that homework is even about learning. I'm not sure exactly what it is supposed to be, though.

Sorry, I guess this turned into my own little rant on homework. Perhaps "the most important part" was supposed to mean the plot of the story? But it could be broken down into: what's the most important part? characters, plot, moral, theme.... or in this case, humour. I hate vague questions.

im with you there. yesterday was the first day of school here, and last night my 14 yr old was in tears. turns out his new math teacher has a very strict rule about not giving credit for homework done in pen, and absolutely everything must be done in pencil (so strict in the syllabus it was bolded, capitalized, and stated twice). my son hasnt used pencil in years, he simply cant due to sensory issues. he no longer has an iep since his speech issues have all been resolved, and weve requested he be assessed for add/asd but the school district lost their psych so we are waiting to find out when that can happen. meanwhile, im trying to get ahold of his teacher and hoping accomodations can be made even without the iep.

so much stress over such trivial things.

I remember those kinds of book reports, and I usually wasn't sure either, because when it comes to "most important," Your Mileage May Vary

Pointless then, pointless now.



I remember the Wayside books. Regarding SIDEWAYS STORIES: IMO, there is no one "most important part"--each chapter introduced us to a different character. That would be like saying that one character was more important than all the others.

You're right about the "good enough" when it comes to dumb assignments like this. I had teachers who were RIDICULOUSLY picky about them.



I had to worry about that too. Eventually, I learned to do it well enough, but....

When I was younger, I REALLY couldn't draw worth anything. (Now I'm okay at abstract geometric shapes, more or less, but not realistic figures.) In second grade we had to make up stories and illustrate them. My drawings were very amateurish, but I always wrote more than any of the other kids. I'm not sure if the teacher was impressed or annoyed.

Anyone remember the oral book reports where you had to take on the persona of a main character?



At grade-school level, I agree with you. By middle/high school, learning how to write analytical essays is an important skill, but they tend to go far beyond "what is the most important thing?"



I remember those too. Most of the time I just made stuff up--I became fairly good at writing fiction.



Lessons/drills in slavishly following directions so you will be a good little worker drone when you grow up.



Good points. Maybe pick just one or a few of these possibilities?

Along similar lines, I have a poster my son did for class last year, boxes filled with little facts about himself. I told him, "I didn't know your favorite animal was cats." He replied that it wasn't, he didn't have a favorite animal and he had to put something.

I don't actually know whether someone told him he had to put something or he imposed the rule himself, but I wish he was in a place where he felt comfortable writing "I don't have one" or even "I don't like animals."

On a few assignments (I can't remember exactly what they were now), I wrote something like that and was told "redo it the 'right' way or you fail." No joke.

Thanks for those posts people. Now I remember reasons 77 and 109 why I hated school. (There's about 1024 reasons at least!) I once heard an interview with a famous author where he was asked to comment on the psychological importance of the last paragraph in his book. The interviewer had given the standard, accepted explanation and was waiting for the author to make some deeply significant comment on the hidden meaning. Instead however, the author asked where people came up with such incredible convoluted interpretations. He said that he had to end the book somehow and the last paragraph only meant what it said and nothing more. By his tone of voice, he was obviously contemptuous of the reviewers who had read a lot into his words that simply wasn't there. The message is simple. Don't believe the so-called standard interpretations.

I would strongly recommend that you consider home schooling as an alternative. The public schools (in US) are atrocious at best and have an absolutely wretched social environment. So much of what they seem to consider as "education" is nothing more than a complete waste of time. This is especially true for Aspies. Another option might be a good private school, preferably non-denominational. In any case be sure to check out the course content for obvious biases. A proper education is far too important not to be pursued as best as possible. Trust me!! I came from a very bad school and it cost me dearly for all of my life. Yes, I finally did manage to get to college and have a good career, but it was nothing compared to what I MIGHT have been had I had a decent education to begin with! Personally, I would shut down every single public school in the country! Yes, I am VERY angry and bitter. So PLEASE try to home school, or go the private school route.

I've been thinking about homeschooling for years (we actually did homeschool for kindergarten) and if I could be the one to earn a living and my husband could be the one to stay home, I would go for it in a second. But though we love each other, my son and I rub each other the wrong way over extended periods of time.

Private school has not been an option because of his difficult behavior. I have many friends who went down that road; it's too easy to kick kids out of private school. He has actually improved considerably and I'm hoping we can do either private or homeschool for the dreaded middle school.

Last year was mostly really good. He had a wonderful teacher and really good people doing OT and speech and adapative PR and he improved so much in his ability to relate to people and move through the world. It kills me that his teacher left.

Willaful, he sounds so much like one of my sons. Getting up early to work on his homework, poor little guy! That stupid "you must read this book and then write something useless about it" homework almost completely ruined my sons' love of reading! By grade 3, I got good and mad/worried about it and went in there and asked for something different. What we worked out was that my son could choose the book (any book, graphic novel, non fiction, lego catalogues...anything, as long as it has words) and that he could dictate his sentence about the book to me to write down (he struggles with slow laborious printing). Suddenly he was loving to read again, and was not doing any less learning than the other kids. Maybe you could work something like this out with the teacher?

Also the lesson in "good enough" is a very important, yet difficult thing (I still struggle with this very much). And my son who is so literal-minded and such a perfectionist can take hours to do the "10 minutes" of homework that has been sent home. Last year (Grade 4) my son had these awful repetitive spelling booklets with directions that often confused the heck out of both of us. I worked it out with his teacher that if he knew the key concepts (example: parts of speech) and could relay it to me verbally then I could initial the page with a C for complete, and save him all the long, arduous busywork. He then went onto spellingcity.com (a much more aspie-friendly learning tool IMO) and learned his spelling words quite happily. I guess my point, there is always a different way to learn the same stuff and it doesn't have to be miserable IF you can get the teacher on board.

One of my son's favorite teachers preaches a rule that I have since sold pretty much all our elementary school teachers on:

Timing out of homework.

If, for example, grade 5 homework is designed to take 1 hour (which is the standard in our area), you get permission to sign the child off for FULL CREDIT after 1 hour of focused working (or 2 half hours ). That rule helped both my kids learn to just sit down and work. Before the rule, they would fret and fret and fret about the "hours" of homework, or hard it was for them, and so on ... with the rule, they know that if they sit down and work, they can be done in 1 hour. Period.

The benefit to the teacher is learning how well they are gauging the time it will take to do their assignments, and they like to know that. They are supposed to aim for a certain volume, and this rule helps them get it right.

Funny thing is, my daughter never asks if she is timed out anymore until she has spent at least 1 1/2 hours working; she doesn't even notice the extra, and she likes to be finished.

Middle school, however ... may not be able to get that one.

I invested a lot of time with my son in 6th grade in helping him learn how to "interpret" and quote books for all the subtle things his teachers were looking for. I read each book with him, and then we would take a walk and brainstorm the answers to the homework questions (he likes to walk when thinking). After the walk, he would know what he wanted to write. It was fun, actually.

I hate homework assignments because the crap they send home is not something that my daughter (or most children for that matter!) can do by themselves. I end up having to do it all! It just ends up being an assignment for ME! It makes me so mad.

Well, I feel pretty knee-jerk now. My son has adapted super well to the homework and it seems to have reminded him that he likes to read. Heard nothing but fabulous reports from his aide (an awesome person whom we trust) about how well he's doing. His new teacher (in his mainstream classroom, we hadn't met her til Friday) seems to be a really good fit for him. And apparently my son's homework page was held up in class as an example of how to do it. More for its correct sentence structure than its originality, wit and charm, but perhaps that would be too much to hope for.

I will definitely keep an eye on whether it overstresses him, but for now I think he's responding really well to the structure and routine. His aide says he is spending the entire day in the mainstream class and virtually no time in the special day, which is a pretty good sign that he is engaged and not stressed out.

(Technically he is only allowed 50% mainstreaming to still stay in the special day, but I'll cross that bridge when we come to it. They have been known to bend rules for my son's benefit before, perhaps everyone is ignoring it.)

My husband just brought me two pics of our son doing his homework. In one he is writing while stretched entirely across the kitchen table. In the second, he is squatting on it.