non stop questioning
I tried telling ehr she could color after school the next day because that's the realistic answer. She just still kept asking and slept on the coloring book on her own. If I try the "what did I say last time you asked?" It has no effect. She might say "I don't know" or even acknowledge that I said no, but then she just keeps asking. If I really launch into the "what did I say? am I going to change my answer?" She starts to get frustrated.
Have you ever tried reversing on her? Like asking her the same question over and over again? This often helps my daughter understand why some of her behaviors are objectionable (sometimes, not) Then maybe you could come up with a "rule" regarding how many times one is allowed to ask the same question? Maybe start with 5 or 7? and when you get to 4 or 6 warn her that she only gets to ask one more time? Then slowly whittle the number down?
With some of these things I have always been tempted to say "who cares if she asks the same question over and over again" and just resign myself to answering her over and over again. The problem with that thinking is it impairs the kid, ykwim? If she does this at school, not only will it make it difficult for her to learn how to appropriately converse, it will also make peers and teachers eventually annoyed. I mean, if I am her mom and it annoys me, how can I possibly expect another 6 year old to tolerate it?
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Mom to 2 exceptional atypical kids
Long BAP lineage
Hmmm....I wonder if there is a way to incorporate this?
http://parentingsimply.com/defiant-kids ... your-lips/
I do think it is pertinent with my son. He questions, not because he is defiant, but because he is rule bound and needs to understand a lot of things. However, he sure as heck looks defiant. I think it is probably quite possible that he cannot read that someone is getting annoyed or angry until he continues and continues and continues and the person finally SNAPS. I think to my son, it looks out of the blue. Maybe working with them to understand the "that is enough" non-verbals?
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Mom to 2 exceptional atypical kids
Long BAP lineage
I keep hearing the response that if you explain it enough or are logical enough then it will stop. This might be true for kids who are asking because they are driven by their inquisitive nature or a need to know or a need for rules/order/logic and are pacified by a good/logical answer.
However, Obsessive thinking does not work that way. It is not always pacified by a good/logical answer. It is driven by anxiety and the right pattern of answer or number of answers or order of words or some other random feature can resolve the anxiety. It is not logical. To me the OP's descriptions sounds more like this than true information seeking.
This:
That is a total revelation for me. Sometimes my son's questioning is exactly that. He is looking for a particular response and will keep going until he gets it and then get annoyed if he doesn't get it. Sometimes the answer he wants is a negative one so he can stew over it or agitate himself more.
Sometimes, I have no clue what answer he is looking for. Sometimes I give him the "right" content but he wants it reworded into whatever mental script he has.
I never know how to handle this.
Edited to try to fix the quote thingie to give Eureka-C proper credit.
Last edited by ASDMommyASDKid on 15 Aug 2012, 4:19 pm, edited 2 times in total.
However, Obsessive thinking does not work that way. It is not always pacified by a good/logical answer. It is driven by anxiety and the right pattern of answer or number of answers or order of words or some other random feature can resolve the anxiety. It is not logical. To me the OP's descriptions sounds more like this than true information seeking.
That is a total revelation for me. Sometimes my son's questioning is exactly that. He is looking for a particular response and will keep going until he gets it and then get annoyed if he doesn't get it. Sometimes the answer he wants is a negative one so he can stew over it or agitate himself more.
Sometimes, I have no clue what answer he is looking for. Sometimes I give him the "right" content but he wants it reworded into whatever mental script he has.
I never know how to handle this.[/quote]
Eureca-C, you described it perfect!
ASD Mommy, my son is exactly this!! ! I am not sure ANY answer will suffice, it feels completely illogical and anxiety ridden. I have no issues with inquisitiveness, I love it in fact, but his seems to be more like obsessive questioning with no answer that will satisfy.
It is good to see I am not the only one dealing with it!
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Dara, mom to my beautiful kids:
J- 8, diagnosed Aspergers and ADHD possible learning disability due to porcessing speed, born with a cleft lip and palate.
M- 5
M-, who would be 6 1/2, my forever angel baby
E- 1 year old!! !
whirlingmind
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Anyone deal with this before?
This describes my 7 year old daughter exactly. It's so wearing and stress-making. I've recently even had two people (strangers) comment on it when we were out on separate occasions. She does it in a very loud and stroppy way as well. She gets louder and louder and often goes into full meltdown. Even when you've answered her, she seems oblivious a lot of the time and will carry on, even when she's had an answer she will shout at you that you didn't answer her. Other times she will just go on analysing like your son, and what might have started off as a passing comment you made gets questioned and analysed to a ridiculous degree. I feel your pain!
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*Truth fears no trial*
DX AS & both daughters on the autistic spectrum
I go through this daily.The obsessive,often illogical, repetitive questions.It is definately an anxiety that he's trying to satisfy but is unable to.It can drive me crazy even when I try so hard to be calm and patient.He is often looking for me to repeat his scripted answer over and over yet it is wrong or makes no sence.Correcting or saying the wrong word brings about yelling, meltdowns and there never is a right answer.I have been up since 1:30am going through this today concerning a "fossil"my son dug up at the museum.(it's a piece of coral).He insits it is the tailbone of a dinosaur and we keep going over and over why and how the dinosaur got there, how it died, how the bone became a fossil.My explanations are not a cceptable so he scripted a made up sequence of eventz and wants me to repeat this over and over."next the dinosaur stuck his head in the ground".Ugh I understand why itsthey happening but it'sI maddening.There isto no gettingI him offto this subjectmorning until hehe starts thethe same thing onI another topic.He's 5, very smart, ready to start kindergarten but lord help me! I am one tired mom.My 3 yr old loves to mimic him too.
