Aspies: Would you teach your children about Santa Claus?

Post Reply New Topic

What game show were you on?

Isn´t St. Nick celebrated on his own day? At least around here in central europe he gets officially celebrated 6th of Decembre, and he normally is less about presents, so normally kids only get some traditional winter sweeties like christmas cookies or christmas cake or a chocolate Nikolaus for St. Nikolaus.

My very Christian, Aspie father taught me and my siblings about Santa. I also grew up knowing the real meaning of Christmas. To me as a kid, there was no conflict in believing both and I was not devastated to figure out the truth about Santa. I realized that Santa had my mom's handwriting and used the same wrapping paper so at about the age of 6, I asked her if she was Santa and she told me the truth. I, from day one, have had special "santa paper" that is hidden away and only used by Santa and have carefully disguised my handwriting in the exact same manner each year since my kids were born! LOL!

I have taught my children about Santa, though they also know the real meaning of Christmas. They know Santa is secondary to Jesus. My son figured out Santa wasn't real because the whole sleigh thing just didn't seem possible to him, and when he questioned me, I told him the truth. I think my daughter still believes in Santa (she is , though she has already dismissed the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny as implausible (too small to carry teeth and money, no such thing as a man-sized bunny). She did ask me if Santa was real and I asked her what she thought, she said "yes" but that other kids told her he wasn't. I told her I found that to be rude, the same as I would find it to be rude if she told kids who believed in the Easter Bunny that he wasn't real. She agreed, and added that she will believe in what she wants to believe in, so I think that on some level, she has probably figured it out, but is maybe not ready to "let go" yet.

I personally think that is is one of those decisions that parents have to decide for themselves. The only time I have a problem with anyone's decision on things like this is when they judge or ridicule people who decide otherwise. It's a decision based on personal values, beliefs and experiences, and I think everyone should respect the rights of others to act as their conscience directs. Just because teaching my kids about Santa was right for me and my family, it does not mean it is right for everyone. I did have a heated argument with a woman who was once a friend, however, because she ridiculed the whole Santa tradition. She was very self-righteous and judgmental, and clearly felt herself to be on a superior plane to those of us who allowed our children to believe that a strange, fat, white man gave them gifts. I've never understood why I had no problem with her not teaching her kids about Santa, but she had such a problem with me teaching mine. Why the heck did it make even a tiny bit of difference to her? Seriously...I have never understood people who bother to be bothered by other people's choices on things like this. Like I don't have better things to be thinking about that whether or not someone else is teaching their kid about Santa! LOL!

What DW_mom said:

I grew up with Santa and loved the tradition of it, so we kept it for our children. Once I knew I had an Aspie, then later when I read things on this site, I grew worried about what my son's reaction would be when he knew the truth. I found a lovely letter online explaining to kids the tradition of Santa and how it is a way to teach young children about the meaning of Christmas and giving. I composed a similar letter for my Aspie son and his twin. We talked about it this past March. My boys were probably on the older side to really know (They were 11 1/2 and at the end of 5th grade.), and although they had asked questions here and there over the years, they had never point blank asked me if he was real. They would try to reason through it, but they never came to any conclusion that Mom and Dad were Santa. We too just played coy and dumb and they rolled with it. We were smart though and always had different Santa paper, and my husband always made his handwriting different in the letters from Santa. Both boys took it very well and can't wait to be Santa for their little brother and sisters this year. They even turned the Santa letter into a tradition and said I couldn't tell the younger ones until they were the same age and I was to give them the same letter. ( I think I may have instilled traditions a little much with my kids. )

I would say we fall into the very religious category since we are active LDS members. We do a lot of traditions and activities all year that center of Christ and we take a lot of time the time to celebrate and remember His birth, life, death and atonement in December. We think of Santa as a extension of that and a way to teach young children about the joy that can come from giving.

I would definitely tell my children about Santa Claus when I have them in the future.

For me, this is simple. My kids can't keep a secret, and between the two of them, one or the other is sure to ruin someone's day by blurting out that he's not a real person in front of someone's parents. I do try not to making parenting any harder for other parents. It's hard enough. Also, as has already been mentioned, there are other things to worry about that make this Santa issue pretty forgetable.