Someone Marry Barry, Aspergers and Aspartners

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I know.

Two things:

1) understanding humanity is a major project, people have been trying to do it for as long as we have records without definitive success and countess psychologists, philosophers, historians, economists and political scientists have spent their entire working lives in pursuit of this goal and a best made small increases in understanding...

2) you can't talk that way about "America" --it's a category error. America has no belief system. It has several hundred million belief systems. Logic is not very helpful in navigating them.

Maybe you're right. What do you believe would be useful for me then?

I always feel like details are missing and I'm lacking information.

It's kind of degenerated over there. I used to post there quite a bit, but it was turning kind of pervy and anti-woman so I stopped. I'm hoping that after a while some fresh visitors will pop up and things will improve. There used to be some really really intelligent folks posting there. *sigh*

Well StarvingArtist and Tarantella is trying to get all of that fixed.

I do have a question for you and others on here. If I am laboring under faulty assumptions what are they? If my reasoning on things is fallacious then where is my fallacy at?

Overall, what am I doing wrong and what can I do to self-correct

Philosophy is way too abstract for him. He is not asking questions about how the world works and trying to synthesize contradictions, like you tend to do. His questions are about things like finding factual errors, or things he thinks are factual errors, but are closer to semantics. He will also question the organizational order of the information presented and that kind of thing. He also will ask questions when he does not understand a particular point, or something confuses him, but it is not about culture or society.

Other people's comments even when they are corrective, have a completely different tone. My son's questions are way more precise and they stand out as not being typical.

One example of such a question was when we went to a local presentation on animals. The speaker was talking about the food chain, and in the course of discussing a particular herbivore the presenter stated it was at the bottom of the food chain. My son was very agitated b/c by definition a producer, like grass, ought to be at the bottom of the food chain, not a consumer like an herbivore.

He was bursting to interrupt the speaker, and to his credit did not when I told him (repeatedly) that it is a social convention that it is rude to interrupt a speaker to correct him. I told him the polite thing to do was to wait until the end so he can finish and then do so privately. Well, the guy did not take it well, even in private, and of course insisted it should be obvious he was talking only of animals, and did not count plants. Another person might have just told him he was right b/c he had not been clear, without getting defensive. So I told my son, later that he must have misspoken and meant to say he was only including animals.

Edited for grammar.

Last edited by ASDMommyASDKid on 25 Jun 2014, 12:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I wish I had an answer!

My suggestions would be
1) (recapitulating things various therapists have told me) try to get more comfortable with the discomfort you feel over lack of information.

2) try to use something like fuzzy logic instead of the hard logic you are most comfortable with but that doesn't fit reality that well.

Consider the operation of neurons and neural networks.
A neuron receives multiple inputs from it's dendritic arbor. As the signals trend toward positive or negative the cell opens or closes gates to allow the balance of ions to change within the cell until a critical level is reached, and then sends a signal down the axon to the synaptic terminal which will release the neurotransmitters that activate the next neuron in the chain....

It is not a hard signal, it's a balance. Life is like this, a balance of levels rather than binary switches.

The image that comes to mind is of a dynamic balance of forces, like a walking person, or a surfer. The cerebellum and motor cortex are constantly adjusting for changes in the terrain or surface of the wave. There is no rest from the constant rebalancing and no definitive end states--the whole dynamic system just flows on. The walker or surfer doesn't need to know about the interplay of particles in the standard model, or the role of the Higgs, they just need to feel the pull of gravity and compensate with their vestibular processing loops.

The thing is to be comfortable walking, or riding the bike, or surfing and not think that you need to understand all the forces in order to ride the wave.

I disagree with this, at least partly. America has a culture and a national identity. These things would not be possible without some degree of uniformity of thinking.

Spare yourself ASPartners.

Please. Those women are crazy.

I can go there, not disclose that I'm an Aspie, and b***h about my husband-- and they are all full of sympathy. Seriously-- I did it as an experiment. Yep.

I also sent my husband there, thinking that he might realize that he really does hate me, and I really have ruined his life, and we could have done with it and both be free-- him of being stuck with me, and me of trying to be an NT woman.

He asked them for advice. AND THEY TRIED TO PICK HIM UP!! ! NOT KIDDING!! !

Those women exemplify everything that is wrong with the fairer sex.

Not to say that loving an Aspie-- especially one who thinks they're perfect-- can't be a drag. Seriously-- loving anyone who isn't aware of and at least attempting to keep a grip on their issues can be a drag.

I also understand the fears of persecution. I have to live with them every day.

But-- look, would the Holocaust have been prevented if more Jews had shown up at Nazi party meetings?? You are not going to stop something like that by listening to the would-be perpetrators talk. All you're going to do is end up dead even sooner.

Be aware-- I do believe the possibility is out there. But do not let them steal the freedom and the life that you have in front of you now.

Thanks Yippy, I didn't know how to present this properly.

Well BuyerBeware, you said they tried to pick him up. Well, this definitely does tell me a lot about their character and I think we can establish what these women are exactly if you know what I mean and I hope I'm not being misogynistic by implying so.

Probably depends on which part of America you are in. Here in the New York metropolitan area, America has multiple cultures and identities.
We have Mohawks upstate along the Canadian border (real Americans!) and we have many many immigrant communities with slightly varied identities. We also have variations in the protestant, white mainstream (a distinct minority in many areas). Connecticut is not New York and New York is not New Jersey and Long Island has a different culture than the Adirondacks, etc.

Many people in other parts of the United States count the diverse peoples of my area as not quite real Americans, but they are wrong. Chinatown is every bit as much a part of America as Charleston or Cheyenne.

I lie south of Atl Ga.

Very true. And for this very reason that America never assigned itself a national language.

That would explain the Christian exegetical undertones in parts of your blog--you are steeped in the culture of the bible belt --which is not the same thing as the mid-Atlantic/New York/New England culture I live in or the Pacific Northwest or Northern California culture... well. I think a strong case can be made that there are multiple cultures in the US. Demographers make use of this awareness for commercial purposes all the time.

http://www.esri.com/library/brochures/p ... tation.pdf

The problem is that they don't follow what they say they believe in. I was using the bible to show what I see is contradictory.

What do you think of my blog overall?