Pros of not having kids?
xxZeromancerlovexx
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Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,906
Location: In my imagination
A lot of my friends have children now and they are constantly busy and don't have as much free time anymore. I personally don't want kids and haven't wanted kids since as long as I can remember.
For those of you who have decided against having children, what were the pros and cons? I'd rather play video games, have time to put on makeup before I walk out the door and not have to get a 9 to 5 job to support children. The only con I can think of is not being like "everyone else" and having to explain to everyone why I know having children isn't the right choice for me. I can hardly take care of a virtual pet for crying out loud!
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funeralxempire
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Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
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Well, for starters, you don't have kids.
That's all I need to know it's the right choice.
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Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
Benefits of Not Having Kids:
• Divorce settlements are vastly simplified.
• Fewer or no stretch marks, and your body looks the same for at least twice as many years.
• If a career advancement requires you to move across the country, you can just pack up and move.
• If someone leaves a mess, you know immediately whose it is.
• If you feel sick, you get to lie down and take care of yourself.
• No one ever accuses you of being a bad parent.
• One trip + two people = two suitcases + two carry-ons (and a purse).
• Personal conversations with your significant other remain personal.
• The $250,000 it takes to raise a child to adulthood belongs to you.
• The extra money from your paycheck belongs to you.
• The last piece of cake belongs to you.
• The secret prize in the cereal box belongs to you.
• The TV remote stays exactly where you left it.
• Vacations are rarely "staycations", and usually involve extended stays in remote rural places.
• When you and your significant other "get busy", you can be as loud and as kinky as you want.
• Women without children are taken more seriously by their bosses and coworkers.
• You and your significant other can "get busy" anywhere in the house, and at any time of the day.
• You can binge-watch all of the Grand Theft Auto series, without having My Little Pony interrupt your joy.
• You can binge-watch 'mature' programs without having to look over your shoulder every few minutes.
• You can have friends over without your children and theirs getting into fights or sharing strange diseases.
• You can have nice things that are expensive, fragile, and rare.
• You can send your nieces and nephews back to their parents when you get tired of them.
• You can sleep for more than two hours.
• You never experience stepping on a Lego piece in your bare feet ... unless you are the person who dropped it.
_________________
xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,906
Location: In my imagination
• Divorce settlements are vastly simplified.
• Fewer or no stretch marks, and your body looks the same for at least twice as many years.
• If a career advancement requires you to move across the country, you can just pack up and move.
• If someone leaves a mess, you know immediately whose it is.
• If you feel sick, you get to lie down and take care of yourself.
• No one ever accuses you of being a bad parent.
• One trip + two people = two suitcases + two carry-ons (and a purse).
• Personal conversations with your significant other remain personal.
• The $250,000 it takes to raise a child to adulthood belongs to you.
• The extra money from your paycheck belongs to you.
• The last piece of cake belongs to you.
• The secret prize in the cereal box belongs to you.
• The TV remote stays exactly where you left it.
• Vacations are rarely "staycations", and usually involve extended stays in remote rural places.
• When you and your significant other "get busy", you can be as loud and as kinky as you want.
• Women without children are taken more seriously by their bosses and coworkers.
• You and your significant other can "get busy" anywhere in the house, and at any time of the day.
• You can binge-watch all of the Grand Theft Auto series, without having My Little Pony interrupt your joy.
• You can binge-watch 'mature' programs without having to look over your shoulder every few minutes.
• You can have friends over without your children and theirs getting into fights or sharing strange diseases.
• You can have nice things that are expensive, fragile, and rare.
• You can send your nieces and nephews back to their parents when you get tired of them.
• You can sleep for more than two hours.
• You never experience stepping on a Lego piece in your bare feet ... unless you are the person who dropped it.
Sounds good enough for me especially the thing about my body looking the same and extra paycheck money.
_________________
“There’s a lesson that we learn
In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
-Down, The Birthday Massacre
Pros of having no kids:
If you are sick, you can rest and sleep
Not spending more money on gas and food and clothing and presents and outings.
No dirty furniture and walls
Not worrying about your body
No sneaking sweets
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
The only reason why I don't have kids is because I'm scared of being pregnant, I can't face all that pain giving birth (even C-sections are painful), and I have a phobia of vomiting which will probably affect the bond between me and my child when the child is ill with a stomach flu.
I can't adopt because there are too many rules that limits someone like me to be eligible to adopt, which is very heartbreaking.
So that is the reason why I haven't had children. It isn't really a choice of mine, but to other people it looks like a choice because I am physically able to have children and am still at child-bearing age. But people don't understand the lengths my anxieties and fears go.
_________________
Female
What all those people said^^. Also these things:
When I had a kid I got an overwhelming sense of vulnerability. It was kind of like...you know in a computer game when a boss appears and he's got a hole in his chest and you can see his heart and you immediately know that's where you've got to hit him because that's where you'll do the most damage. Having a kid is a bit like that. It's a new vulnerability that can cause you immense pain and it's external to you so if you're used to hiding your vulnerabilities and protecting yourself...well that won't work for this one.
Before I had a kid, I would hear about bad things happening to kids in the papers, or read about them in books or see them in films and I wasn't unsympathetic or anything - I knew these things were bad and I felt them to a certain extent but once I had a kid, anything like this is unbearable. You can't help but imagine what it would be like if it happened to your kid - how intensely horrible it would be for them and how confused they'd be that this was happening to them. For me, it's the confusion they'd feel that is just unbearable, rather than any pain or physical suffering.
TLDR; kids are emotionally exhausting as well as physically exhausting.
_________________
Bwark!
Saving money, likely in the millions.
Not having the emotional workload of loving someone, worrying 24/7, and dealing with their physical / mental / emotional / psychological / intellectual / social needs.
Not having to deal with sensory issues related to another person's noise, messes, smells, decor choices, music, etc.
Not having to deal with your ex once they become your ex.
Being able to shut down when you need to, without responsibilities for someone else's life.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
Yep....all those things.
But I feel like I've missed out on being able to raise a person, and to have that person be a product of me. Just being called "dad." Being able to say "I am a father."
It's sort of a situation where I desire what I can't obtain----but when I obtain it, I might regret it.
I'm 60 years old----should have been a grandpa by now!
I actually like and want kids, but I am so scared of pregnancy and childbirth that I think it'd be a horrible thing for my mental health. I also have health issues that would make those fears worse, and I am trans so I'd just rather go on testosterone now than wait until after I have kids. Not to mention having ASD, ADHD, OCD, and learning disabilities that may or may not be inheritable (I wouldn't mind raising a child with those things, but why would I purposely put them through that lmao).
So...
Pros:
1. No mental health crises for me
2. I can go on testosterone whenever I want
3. A child will not be afflicted with one or more of the many issues I have lol
4. I can continue to play video games in peace
5. I can also have more pets because I won't have kids lol (at least to me that's a plus)
6. No sensory overload from kiddos running around and stuff
xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,906
Location: In my imagination
Why do men post in the Women’s Discussion forum on WP?
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“There’s a lesson that we learn
In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
-Down, The Birthday Massacre
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