Aspie hygiene

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Question for other parents. Do you have trouble with hygiene issues w/ your Aspie? Mine refuses to take a shower (says he feels like it is needles). He HATES taking baths, but will do it at the same time every night. I can't get him to put deodorant on because he doesn't like the way it feels, smells, and he doesn't think he needs it. He has gotten severe acne partly I'm sure b/c he doesn't wash his face well.

The other day were were on a trip and apparently I bought the wrong shampoo, so he would not take a bath (day 3). When hubby and I tried to force the issue, I found him upstairs in the middle of a major breakdown.

Any suggestions???

Have you suggested a towel bath yet?

It is like a sponge bath, but with a towel. Basically you just get a bucket of warm water, and then put some soap in it. You then sit in the bathtub (so the water can drain out) and wipe yourself down with the towel. You wring it out and re-dunk it between wipes. It might deal better with his sensory problems.

As for the deodorant have you tried getting him the solid odor free kind? I absolutely hate the gel, it just feels so nasty, and it smells too. I like the sure, unscented, invisible solid brand much much better.

As for the acne, that may more so be due to the fact that he is a male going through puberty. There isn't much you can do to prevent that other then using harsh chemicals like alcohol which are much worse then just having acne.

Ooh! I had such a bad problem with this!! I kinda still do...the shower does not feel like needles...but the whole act of going through the motions tends to be a bit cumbersome..so I often forget...but as a kid, I was reluctant to bathe..when puberty hit, I was reluctant to shave, just like I started wearing a bra a wee while after I should have...
I really like nice bathtub baths, and my ASish partner strongly prefers them to showers...particularly for sensory reasons...also as a kid/teenager the sensory issues involved with taking showers still bugged me quite a bit.

I'm an autie & had some issues with this myself (not this extreme though, but I felt like hair growing under my arms was like needles). Besides the towel bath idea (good one ) would your child be okay with "washing their hair" by rubbing baking soda into it, leaving it in for a bit & combing it out? (Baking soda would get rid of hair odor, possibly cut the acne by cutting scalp oils, etc.) With the acne, my favorite facial wash is by cetaphil (most like water) also, sea breeze on a cotton ball could work. Deodorant ideas: ask your kid if they prefer solid, gel or in between (my guess would be solid but I don't know your kid) & take them to a store & have them open & sniff every single deodorant until they find one they like (embarrassing for you, but possibly fun for him/her ).

I think hygiene issues are really common. A large part of it can be the sensory side, as noted in the posts above, and maybe a sense that it shouldn't be so important to people / not caring what others think. My son is pretty solidly in the later group, although he does have mild sensory issues with some of the processes, as well.

Our stand has been that he must get it done, but he gets to choose how / when (within reason). If I have to let him sample every deoderant brand in the store, so be it. If we're going to research homemade alternatives on the internet, so be it. But a solution is going to be found and he is going to use something. A child may have trouble identifying what the specific issue is, so talking and brainstorming can help. Keep trying.

And never forget to pack the right shampoo

Dont care to the others people think !
I'm agree with your statement ,maybe this roots of the problem...

It sounds like your child has severe hypersensitivity issues. This is REAL. It is not simply that he's making a big deal out of small things, or they are minor annoyances that he just doesn't want to put up with or he is intending to be difficult.

I would ask him if turning the pressure down on the shower helps, or maybe getting a new shower head with many different settings, one of which he might be able to tolerate...perhaps one of those hose shower heads that he can have more control over.

Also let him try different deoderants. I had a problem with the alcohol based ones by the dry roll on ones were fine.

It sounds like your child has severe hypersensitivity issues. This is REAL. It is not simply that he's making a big deal out of small things, or they are minor annoyances that he just doesn't want to put up with or he is intending to be difficult.

I would ask him if turning the pressure down on the shower helps, or maybe getting a new shower head with many different settings, one of which he might be able to tolerate...perhaps one of those hose shower heads that he can have more control over.

Also let him try different deoderants. I had a problem with the alcohol based ones by the dry roll on ones were fine.

I'm not big on taking showers either because I'm always frozen during and afterwards. Maybe he feels the same way? HTH!

Do you have a water saver shower head? The spray from those definitely feels like needles to me. If so, you could switch to a regular shower head.

I had terrible hygiene as a kid. Unfortunately, it took the teasing and bullying of my schoolmates to convince me to bathe daily - please, no one think I'm saying teasing and bullying are ever good things. My wife and I are going out of our way to impress on our four year old daughter that keeping clean is a very good thing.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

Even better than a regular shower head:

For many examples...remember, the larger the head and number of nozzles..the gentler the rain: http://www.nextag.com/rain-showerhead/products-html

It comes straight down and simulates gentle rain.

Have never been entirely sure that this is the case, throughout puberty if I showered more than once a week it was a miracle, and I never had problems with spots. This is probably not the case for everyone however both my parents and my sister were very spotty throughout those years and into their 20's yet I got away with no more than 2 at a time.

You can probably try to change the showerhead. It'd be a rather cheap solution, too. My home has three bathrooms and the default showerheads have pretty strong pressure and I don't like that at all. It does feel like needles on my skin. I changed my own into one that's much softer and easily adjustable to various settings. I usually keep it at one of the lower pressure settings and have no problem with shower now.

I hate showers because getting wet is awful maybe I'm a cat. Or a witch.

Yes yes and yes.

I've never heard of a towel bath. That would have been a real life saver back when we were in the pre-showering phase. My eldest two children are both Aspies and both were OK with baths but hated showers. Your son's sensory issues may be more extreme so what worked for us might not work for you. We very gently and slowly had them start taking mini showers. It was OK if they only dipped an arm in and then washed up another way. We did that every few days gradually building up a tolerance for showers. Now they both take showers though Middle Son still dislikes it strongly. Middle son also won't wear short sleeves or pants and is very sensitive about the air on his skin so I think this is harder for him than Eldest.

Eldest has developed a lot of serious hygeine problems. He will smear food, glue or whatever gunk he can get into all over his clothes and refuse to wear clean ones. He also refuses to keep his nails clean and will dig around in dirt or any kid of filth he can find to dirty them back up if we force him to clean them. His teachers and classmates at school are repelled by this and he gets angry that they don't want to be more friendly with him. I think this is some kind of a passive aggressive thing he's doing. He has other psych issues, and that may be part or wholly to blame.

Middle son likes his person to be fastidiously clean. I wish that extended to his bedroom. He won't wear dirty clothes.