The Mailman

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I don't even think anyone else has experienced with their kids. J Bird is my younger brother, he's 14 years old. Generally, he's intelligent, reserved, and stays put with his specialty Legos. Lego video games, lego models, and just lego pieces. Also lego shirts. But he's had this one rather awkward for me to explain quirk.
And that's the mailman. He knows all the schedules and the routes of the mailmen in our area...don't ask me how he figured this out. Sometimes, despite being fairly reserved and quiet and doesn't seek much social attention, he ask that we wait for the mailman because he's coming on our street in 10 minutes. So, we do usually because he starts a bit of a fit if we don't. He then goes unto asking the mailman a million questions while this man is doing his job. I tried to tell him that the mailman may not appreciate him going into their work place. One mailman who has been doing our route for years, tolerates J bird. However, the other mailman are starting to get a little annoyed.

How can I convince my brother that the mailman need to do their job?

And does anyone else have a problem similar? It doesn't even have to be mailman.

My kiddo is OBSESSED with the UPS man. He got a delivery of a favorite book we ordered him from UPS. Ever since then, he counts the trucks every time we are out. If you think about it, its pretty magical for a kid. A person shows up and delivers new and interesting things...I get it!

Maybe it would be a good idea to use the mailman as a good opportunity for practicing social and conversation skills? If he already wants to talk to him, maybe practice starting a conversation and asking a new question. If you can make it into positive learning experience, why not? Maybe start with a social story about neighborhood occupations and one on conversation. Go from there?

I'm glad that you told that story. It is good to know that I'm not the only one obsessed with the mailman. I can usually be fairly certain when the mailman will show up. My wife will ask me why I'm standing by the door and here comes the mailman. I do not why, to tell you the truth why I'm obsessed with it. Its not like their is anything interesting coming in the mail except for more bills.

I guess it just the pattern in when the mailman shows up. It is constant and something your brother can relate with. Like your brother when the pattern is thrown off because of a backlog, substitute mailman or other reason, I feel something is wrong. Have to know the answer why the pattern didn't hold.

Like SC_2010 mentioned it would be a good way for your brother to start friendly conversations with the mailman. Figure out why the mailman is late or early instead of asking millions of questions.

You are right to be concerned about bothering someone who is working but most people who take these jobs are quite accommodating of kids and others who show innocent interest in their work. Perhaps a compromise would be to ask your brother to limit his conversation to three minutes so that he doesn't throw the mailman's schedule too far off. Let him do the math on what would happen to the mailman's schedule if he met 5 kids just like him on the way to your house and each chatted ten minutes. Or twenty people who chatted two minutes each. Let him develop a sense of what chatting too long might do to disrupt the schedule, while assuring him it's ok to be friendly, but one has to be careful not to overdue it. It's a social rule to be respectful of other people's time, especially when they are working.

Our mailman is actually very social. Knows my name, asks about the kids, etc. He seems to enjoy having a few people to make social contact with during his day.

I think I can see the allure. Most people don't appreciate what a wonderfully efficient complex system the US Post Office runs, and I'm sure it's much the same for the Canadian post, and other western countries.

It's the ultimate sorting and organization system and it runs more or less like clockwork, creating an aura of ultimate zendom, in other words, complex system nirvana.

The local post office in my home town used to give tours.

Anyway, you might contact the local post master and explain that your brother is autistic and has a keen interest in the postal system and was wondering if he could have a tour of the facility or shadow a mail carrier for a day. If your brother has some type of case manager, it might be easier for them to arrange this.

Of course that doesn't solve your initial problem. I would remind your brother that if he keeps distracting the mail man, he's going to throw off the mail man's schedule and the mail man will be late making his deliveries or might make a mistake and send something to the wrong address.

my son regularily chats it up with the paper delivery gal. She arrives by bike. When the kids were younger I actually caught them trying to follow her on her route lol... She doesn't seem to mind and most are really happy when they can bring a smile to someone..

Maybe if you put it in terms of just how many houses this mailman has to make it to by a certain time to finish his job? Not just that it's a job but that if he takes too much time at one place he may not get finished till dark idk or maybe the old lady on the next street might have anxiety waiting for her mail

I love the idea above about a tour of the post office. I'm pretty sure it's illegal for for them to have anyone ride with them unfortunately ( I know it is for a rural route as my aunt did this job for 30 yrs). They do have DVD's you can get that take you on a virtual ride along tho and answers many of the questions about being a mail carrier in general.

Memorizing routes isn't all that uncommon tho I had a patient while working as a nurse who knew all the routes of the subway systems in New York (we are in Michigan) I'm sure all that information must be online someplace. There was another who would collect phone books and had all the numbers inside memorized.. every time he'd meet someone new he'd ask where they were from and say 'oh i dont have that phonebook do you think you could bring me a phone book next time you come in'