AS kids resistant to technology?
Hi everyone. I am new to this site and recently diagnosed as well. I also have a 15 year old DD who is diagnosed with AS and ADHD. My daughter loves TV, movies and video games. She lives in her own world most of the time and I can't get her interested in learning to use a computer or even cell phone. Just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this.
DD has a high IQ and great reading comprehension. She is also very stubborn. Sometimes I think she resists learning to use the computer JUST because I think it is a great idea. I feel like this resistance is holding her back because:
a.) she cannot keep up with emails about the activities she's involved with and is usually clueless about schedule changes or special events. i keep up with all of this for her but she is old enough to help some. she's homeschooled so these activities are really important
b.) her dad lives in another country and e-mail is the only way he can communicate with her most of the time so even though she thinks fondly of him she is missing out on this relationship
c.) no social networking, text messaging etc. makes it even more difficult for her to establish/keep connections with peers she meets in her activities
For Christmas I got her a tablet--I thought maybe she will be less resistant if the device is hers and not shared (she likes to be in control) but she still wants nothing to do with it. Any advice or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated. I am at a loss, I thought this issue would improve as she got older. She has had her own cell phone for several years and still treats it like a chore to carry it with her (even know she KNOWS she has to call for a ride home).
Sounds like a quirk specific to her. As a generalisation, I'd say that most AS members of this site are drawn to technology like moths to a flame. However, that is an attraction to the technology itself - not as a means to communicate with other human beings. Mobile phones and computers are fascinating... provided I don't have use one to talk to someone!
Maybe she has problems with communication rather than with the technology itself?
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I've left WP indefinitely.
Good for her. Most kids "into technology" are just cultivating ADD with SMS and Facebook
With regards to her reasoning................YEAH! I know that feeling well. Its usually because there is a counter belief on her side that you must do smth she wants you to first...........I dont know what that is here.
I would however love an ipad so I cant totally relate.
Also she is 15 and smart, perhaps its not that interesting to her and also who are her peers if she is homeschooled? I mean ALL my friends at that age were from school and sports. If she doesnt do any of those who is she networking with?
My son (with AS age 11 almost 12) loves some video games, online games, his DS, using his phone to play games, and watching off the wall videos and occasionally making his own videos. He has no interest whatsoever in texting, chatting, emailing, facebooking, sharing pictures or anything to do with social networking or communication. My 13 y/o NT daughter on the other hand bragged about her 153 texts with friends last month, facebook several times a week to several times a day, would rather I email her than talk to her face to face when it comes to reminders/chores etc. and uses technology almost exclusively for social interactions. I think it is a bit of a male/female thing, but more of an AS/NT thing.
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NT with a lot of nerd mixed in. Married to an electronic-gaming geek. Mother of an Aspie son and a daughter who creates her own style.
I have both a personal and professional interest in ASD's. www.CrawfordPsychology.com
Sweetleaf
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Thanks everyone for taking time to read and respond. I am really baffled by this issue and not sure what to try next. I agree with what many of you have said, that she is resisting the social interaction. The only thing is she also resists online things that do not involve social interaction, such as looking up a topic she is interested in to learn more about it. For instance, she is really into TV and movies and devours every word of Entertainment Weekly magazine as soon as it comes in the mail. There is lots of entertainment information online but she won't even look at it.
The only reason she will give for resisting computers and her phone is that she is "scared" of them. She cannot explain to me why. It makes no sense to me because she is definitely NOT scared of her 3DS or the Wii U her cousins got for Christmas.
She is homeschooled but has LOTS of opportunities for social interaction. She attends a homeschool co-op every week, is super involved in community theatre, does volunteer work at local museums and has taken lots of arts classes so she is around peer groups most days during the week. She is not shy/quiet in these groups. She has trouble connecting with peers because she is too loud, forces her opinions, doesn't understand when it is her turn to be quiet and listen. She also takes social skills classes to help with this but no improvement so far. She prefers to interact with boys (strictly on a friendship level) and usually those who are several years younger than her. Occasionally she does seem to make connections and talks about the kids she meets but won't keep in touch with them outside of the activity so those relationships never develop.
There might be an executive function aspect to it, also. While technology makes it in general way easier to organize ones stuff, it also gives to one more things to organize. If there was not the technology we have today not keeping up with emails would come out as not being able to keep up with writing letters or reciprocating phone calls. If she is not the kind of person to instantly follow up with an email after reading it, that means she has to highlight it as important or restore it to unread or something. By then they may pile up and then she might really not feel like it, especially if social stuff is not your deal.
Just a thought, as she does not sound like a technophobe, from what you have written.
My son is sometimes resistant to things that I think he would like based on my knowledge of other things that he likes. So I am right there with you on how baffling it can be. Sometimes I am successful in getting him to try something just a little bit, kind of like sticking his toe into the pool water, and when he sees that it is not so scary or overwhelming as he thought then he often embraces it enthusiastically.
I can actually think of several aspects that might be scary for her, e.g. Identity Theft. One hears so much about this threat and if you don't really understand how it happens, then I can understand why some people are very afraid to use computers. "The Internet" can seem like a huge scary place where bad people are lurking to take advantage of you (which is not entirely untrue BTW). The TV/movies is not connected to the internet and video games are only connected if you have taken the steps to make them so, so perhaps that is why those things are not frightening to her? Also, things like the 3DS and Wii U are somewhat single purpose tools - they play games. I can also understand being overwhelmed by some (many) webpages. There are so many things going on with all the ads and search results, I can see how it could be very confusing for some people. I think most of us learn to filter out a lot of that content but she may not be good at filtering.
Would she be willing to do a lesson where you gave her very specific instructions for what to do on the computer to accomplish a particular, brie, task? I could imagine writing out a list of steps for her to take to look up some obscure, but interesting to her, fact by using Google or some other search engine and being required to write down the answer for you. Perhaps in a highly structured setting, her fears might not be so overwhelming. If that worked maybe you could build on that by eventually having her email you an answer to the question.
I liked to write letters by hand when I was younger. Can't she write her dad letters that way if she wants?
I use computers and email, in fact I had a PC pretty early on, around 1987 or 1988, and I worked with computers all through my work life (most of which was technical writing/editing). But it took me a long time to get into belonging to e-lists or forums, and I still don't like social networks like Facebook. I detest chat rooms and instant messaging. I like to be able to edit my words, I'm not good at verbal conversation or at that kind of off-the-cuff communication, I prefer to think things through.
I've also always avoided the telephone. As a child, as a teen, as an adult, especially as an adult, I avoid the phone. This was a problem when I had to make calls in my job. I had to plan them out, write down what I wanted to say, and I tried to make them at a time of day when I wouldn't be overheard or interrupted. I still to this day have never owned a cell phone, and my land line rarely gets used.
I love activities that are low-tech, like hand needlework. They feel more real to me. Even when I cook, I'm more likely to chop or mix things by hand than use the food processor or mixer.
I really don't see anything wrong with that, as long as it's not interfering with efficiency in a way that impacts on others.
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Mummy_of_Peanut
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Corastorm, I think she sounds fine with technology. Is it not the social interaction that she's frightened of? I resited getting a mobile phone and only got one when my daughter started nursery and I might need to be contacted. I'm still not comfortable using it and won't make calls unless it's absolutely necessary. I'd rather send a text, but I'm not proficient at that either, basically because I've hardly ever sent any. I'm on Facebook and have about 30 friends, but I seldom ever use it, because of social anxiety. As a result, I don't really know how it works (I don't think it's particularly user friendly anyway). This site and a parenting site that I use are the only forums where I can truly be myself. But, I'm absolutely fine with technology and was the department 'IT guru' at work.
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"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiatic about." Charles Kingsley
I had problems with this and still do. With me it's a cognitive thing. Some things I learn quickly. Other times I just don't get things that are new to me. Sometimes it's a comfort in sticking with the familiar; still I realize I have a problem even though as a child I was always been able to fake it and compensate with my other areas of intelligence so nobody ever seemed to suspect I'm a slow (or maybe "specialized" is a better way of putting it) learner in some regards.
One memory that stands out was in 5th or 6th grade we had a couple computers in the classroom and I wasn't familiar with how to use them. And we also were expected to start learning how to word process on them. Even though some things were verbally explained and demonstrated I felt overwhelmed and avoided going on when I had the free time because I didn't want to be exposed. I also realize now that when it comes to things I have little to no frame of reference for that I am not good at verbalizing what the problem is and talking my way through it so I understand. Eventually I had no choice but to use the computers and I ended up getting it--probably pretty quickly, I don't remember.
We all learn by making mistakes, it's harder for some like me.
Maybe it isn't a cognitive problem for your daughter at all. I just think you can't be too quick to assume she is simply dragging her feet. There are some good points made why some technology can have dangers. I don't really see what is scary about e-mail though if you know the person you're corresponding with. It's just a one on one interaction. I think learning e-mail or some other sort of direct messaging would be a better starting point before worrying about her getting into things like social networking. She is at the age she probably could learn much of these things on her own; if you or someone wants to help her my advice is just don't get impatient with her or make her feel judged.
I do feel best when I live without any technological things; they really make the experience of life unreal. That said, I've got used to a computer as a kid and as long as I have to live in this western world I will use it when I have to. When it comes to TV do I have no interest and only look at a tv if friends or family have it on and watch it themself.
