My son's IEP meeting- Funny?

Post Reply New Topic

Some one told me I need to post my son's IEP story because they find it funny. I don't know how funny it really is. You can be the judge.

I was getting ready to go in for my son's first IEP meeting and I wasn't sure what to expect. So we called one of the local IEP autism advocates in town. She is familiar with all the rights, laws, school system and goes to the meeting with the parents as an advocate. In a pre-IEP meeting, she told us to be prepared because the school will use the line 'that they are doing the best they can and we need to understand and be realistic about our expectations for our child and their future'.

So sure enough we are in the IEP meeting and the schools says ''that they are doing the best they can and we need to understand and be realistic about our expectations". So I said "yes, I would like to talk about expectations for a minute" and I pulled my paycheck stub out of my pocket and put it on the table and said to the school, "Everyone is aware that I have the same diagnosis as my son and he is a miniature version of me. So why doesn't everyone else put their checks on the table so we can compare and then we'll talk about expectations." The room dropped dead silent. My wife does one of those face to palm motions. Then the autism advocate starts laughing, but was trying hard to muffle it. I can't figure out why she is laughing so I lean over and say 'but you told me to be prepared", to which she replied, 'not literally, it was a figure of speech, to prepare yourself". (and I was prepared. I looked up the teachers pay ranges in the union contract pre-meeting also.) Finally after a few minutes of akward silence, the leader of the meeting says "lets all take a breath and proceed with discussing what path forward looks correct".

Embarassed the heck out of my wife, but the autism advocate told me I did more advocating for my son with one sentence and a gesture then she could possibly have done and she'd be real surprised if I ever heard that phrase again. Now she says she has a permanent mental picture of me slamming my check on the table, calling them out and not even being remotely aware of any of the social protocols or norms I was apparently trampling all over.

That is an awesome story! Truly!

Funny, inspirational, thought provoking, unconventional...

Sounds like I am talking about an Oscar nominated movie!

YAY! I am, in this instance, so glad you didn't know the appropriate social protocols - because what you did was SO MUCH BETTER!! !

That is funny. I would, however, have been expecting to see a "checklist" produced somewhere at the meeting. I don't think I'd heard of that figure of speech before either!

I love it! I sort of understood what it meant and would have been intimidated. But you handled it amazingly well. Screw social protocol when it comes to being our children's advocates!

GENIUS!

+1, my friend.

Thank you for sharing that! I hope that IEP team won't use that phrase on any parents ever again! I'm not sure if this is exactly the point you were trying to make but you provided a real life example of why it is so important not to set the bar too low for our kiddos!

Cash For The Win!

good for you!
and yes a little funny, but it got the point across and shut them up!

My problem is that I'm waivering between thinking that you showed them how much more money you make than them, and that you showed them how much less money you make than them. If affects how I read the story. One view being more bitersweet than the other.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 08 Mar 2013, 6:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I had only read it as if he makes more. That would make more sense, no?

I make more then the top of their pay scale. So even if they were at top pay, I was making more.
Yeah, the point would be loss if it was the other way around.

This story makes my day--and week.

Way to go, Cash!

Perfect. I am a big advocate of negotiation (and good negotiating usually involves "homework"). Bringing a visual aid when applicable sometimes wins the day. Great example.

Well, yes, it would be a very different point. And not so funny.

It depends on why you think the school tries to lower parent's expectations.

See, I assume a big reason schools try to lower expectations is largely so they can spend less money on your child and offer less services. Kind of a code for saying, "we don't have the budget for that, and it wouldn't make any difference if we did, so why are you asking?" In which case, your move would backfire: they'd be left wondering why they are expected to go above and beyond for your kid when you could pay for everything privately, and they could use their limited funds on a kid who has no one else to support them. In our district funding is a huge issue, and the schools have to be very careful about which students they will invest in, and try to get the most bang for the buck.

I guess it depends on the people. If they are offering the line because they really worry that you, as a parent, have unrealistic expectations for your child, then the move is perfect.

Lol, maybe I overthink things sometimes?

I personally think that investing in ASD kids is money well spent. Without support, they may flounder and never find a decent job. With support, they can thrive and use their gifts effectively in the market place. It is, of course, case by case, but I think the support made a huge difference with my son. Sure, he is smart with or without it, but he wasn't the type of smart that could get him through the requirements of formal education.

Great that you got results. I don't understand it though, what does a cheque have to do with expectations and being prepared? Is it because they thought you were offering to bribe them? That's the only thing I can think of (and it took some thinking!)