Hey, Lady from Scotland!

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I can't remember your username, I'm so sorry. But, I have a friend from FB and a FB AS group who is in Scotland and she has an aspie daughter and having trouble finding resources there. She's joining WP today after she fixes lunch, but I told her I'd introduce her and that ya'll parents here on the parents forum really do know lots of things to help her out. I have no clue what her user name will be, but I bet she posts in this thread once she joins. Can you please talk to her and give her some good suggestions when she gets here?

Thank all ya'll in advance, cause I know you'll do what you can to help her out.

I don't mean to be rude but I'm not sure this forum is really the place for people with autistic children to find help unless they want the viewpoints of autistic adults.

Maybe somewhere like this forum that has more than a little subsection for parents would be more useful
http://board.asdfriendly.org/

As you can see from that forums is pretty much a forum purely for the parents of autistic children where as this one seems to be almost entirely adults who have ASD, although some of us do have autistic kids as well as being autistic ourselves.

As an adult it's annoying how much help there is for autistic children and parents of autistic children but for us autistic adults we are like a raft at sea floating around trying to fight against the force of the waves and getting nowhere...
no life guards or coastal rescue patrols for us

Of course if this woman genuinely wants to be part of this community then she's more than welcome to post here as is anyone else, I'm just saying I'm not sure this is the right place for her to find help but maybe we can point her in the right direction or be of more help than I'm expecting

AutisticGuy1981,

You are posting on the sub-board for parents. Talking about our kids is what we do.

I am sure that OliveOilMom told her friend that aspies post here, too, and that this is a parent sub-board of an aspie site. I doubt that anyone OOM referred here, would not be respectful of that.

She just joined and is fixing to post here. Yes, this is the forum for parents. I post here sometimes even though my kids are NT, although I suspect AS in my youngest son. Parents are parents and we listen to each other no matter what our kids neurology is. Sometimes I post here to things parents ask, cause i've been through what their kid's been through. Sometimes I post here to them because something sounds like something I went through with mine. Sometimes I just post because I don't know what to do with my kids (who are basically grown now).

TY ASD Mommy. This lady was on a FB group for aspies to get a better idea of what her daughter may be going through. Some guy there was a douche to her, but I think she just ignored him. Anyway, I told her about here, where other parents post and she might be able to find info here that she can't on a FB page.

Eeek I'm a bit nervous about posting here now but here goes - I'm the friend of OliveOilMom and this is my first time posting on any message boards so please forgive me if I post in the wrong place or say the wrong thing! I'm learning as I go along here. We live in Scotland and myself and my husband are NT (as far as we know) and our 8 year old is AS. I'm here to try and educate myself on how best to help my child and to be honest I'm as interested to just read what everyone else has to say as I am to post for myself.
We are going through a lot of issues just now, my daughter is soon to go for an operation to lengthen her tendons as she has been a tiptoe walker all her life, school is a nightmare, she has no interest in spending ANY time with us, all she needs is her iPad and her DS which after 8 years of her being my shadow is a shock to the system. I can't tell if she's ever happy, because she doesn't seem to know herself. We don't have a social worker or anything, can't seem to find out from anyone should we have but apparently they don't have the resources in the Highlands for every family to have one. Sorry, I'm just spilling out anything and everything but that's what I do when I'm nervous, sorry!! I'm really thankful to you all for letting me join this forum and happy to be advised if I'm am doing things wrong xxx

Hey! You're here! Yay! You'll get awesome advice on here. For real, you will.

I am not in Scotland, but I do have an 8 year old boy. No need to be worried posting here. This sub-board is very welcoming of NT parents, usually. The gentleman who posted, is a relatively new member and may not know how this sub-board works, yet.

I am hopeful someone will post to give you more info about Scotland. I believe the person who is from there is/was a moderator, but I cannot remember her posting handle for the life of me. She also has a girl about your daughter's age, I think.

I think OOM is thinking of Peanut's Mummy, but she's not been on-line here since December. I hadn't realised it had been so long. I hope everything's ok.

Anyway, I'm in Scotland too! Near Paisley, so nowhere near Bamasmama.

There seems to be a lot going on with Bamasmama's daughter just now, going by her post, so might take a bit of teasing out.

My son's 12 now, just coming to the end of First Year. He was diagnosed with Asperger's when he was 7 years old, by the Community Autism Team in Glasgow. Even before his diagnosis he was allocated a Speech and Language Therapist (SLT) and eventually - v long waiting list - was allocated an Occupational Therapist that he saw for a while. He now sees neither SLT nor OT, but at the end of Primary School, with lots of worries and different issues going on in his life, he saw a psychologist through Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). That was helpful, and he is now discharged from that too, but having been in all of these systems, SLT, OT and CAMHS, it would be easier to get back in than it was at the beginning.

He's never had a social worker.

Ah, in Highland you already have the "named person" system which the Scottish Government are proposing to extend across the country. Do you know who your daughter's named person is? Probably her class teacher or a depute head…


You say school is a nightmare, and that is worrying. I assume the school are aware of the diagnosis. There should be a support plan in place. If other agencies are involved, then it should be a co-ordinated support plan (in theory), or a Support for Learning Plan.

I have a friend who works for the Council in Inverness so if there's anything specific you're not sure about, then I could ask her.

Sorry to interrupt

Is Inverness considered to be in the Highlands?

Also: I've always wanted to take a trip to the Highlands, for beauty and historical reasons.

I'm a Highlander the series fan. I want to go to find a fictional character lol.

Yes, Inverness is very much in the Highlands. It's the administrative centre, the largest urban area, and often referred to as the "Capital of the Highlands".

Yes, Peanut's Mummy was who I was thinking Olive Oil Mom was speaking of. I hope she is OK. too. I am sorry I didn't think of you also. I am terrible at remembering where everyone is from.

Welcome!
Never fear--you are in the right place and can say what you like. People will let you know if they disagree with something and why, but that is part of how we learn from each other. And we are all learning, all the time. You are free to ignore us!

Is the toe-walking a major problem? I hope everything goes well.

Some things you might want to discuss in more detail:

> School is a nightmare
why? Lack of accommodations by the teaching staff? Bullying by students? Both?

>She has no interest in spending ANY time with us.
Sometimes time together is different for people with ASDs, for instance, I feel I am spending time with my son when he is on his computer and I am on mine at other ends of the room. He feels lonely if I leave, even through we might not speak for an hour or three.

>All she needs is her iPad and her DS
What does she do on them? Any chance you can join in her interests there? It might be a way to connect.

>I can't tell if she's happy, because she doesn't seem to know herself.
You might be interested in research on alexithymia
: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2092499/

All I meant was she might find a forum completely dedicated to parents with ASD children better than this subsection so I was trying to be helpful by posting a link.

if you visited the link you can see it's a very good forum for that type of stuff where as I'd imagine this place tends not to come up so high when googling for forums/support regarding children

BTW if you never tried applying for DLA for your daughter then you should try and fill it in like every question is regarding the worst day.

AutisticGuy1981

Thank you for posting about that other forum. I have signed up for that.

I have to admit, your first post kind of put me off, like I wasn't welcome here being NT even though I have an ASD son. I'm glad you clarified that you were just trying to be helpful.

I do learn a lot here, actually, so I'll be sticking around.

Sorry if I misunderstood. I just wanted to make sure the poster knew she was more than welcome to join. No reason she can't go to more places than just one, if she finds them useful. We like having NT parents here. I often ask them for help when I need to know if a behavior is an ASD thing or an any kid kind of thing, and other things that are not readily apparent.

So, I apologize again if I misread you. We just don't want to chase NT parents off.

edited for literacy