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Hi, thanks for reading, my wife and I have (at times) become very frustrated with our son who is now a teenager and I have persuaded her that she needs to get our son checked for the spectrums a-a. My question to the members here who have been at this stage is what are your thoughts;

From an early age my son wasnt interested in TV.
He loved to write lists of things - teams, players, school friends.
He would flick pens around in his hands as though writing or drumming.
He would sniff things move than one normally would.
He was called 'forest' by a sports trainer as he was 'always away with the faries'
He would push me and his mum to boiling point as he didnt understand when we were mad with him and would laugh at us.
He is not at all motivated
More recently he talks a lot about a single irrelevant matter (bus numbers, body weight, etc)
He ignores us (and others) a lot or needs to be asked a number of times for a response.
He doesnt like to socialise in person much, although loves computer socialising. He does have friends though.
Looking back he had some strange fears at times; escalators, being around groups of teenagers (fast food restaurants)
The good news is hes very endearing, and does have friends and otherwise is fine.

Now, talking to friends a lot of these things individually are quite 'normal', but all together? My wife has asked him what he thinks and he isnt quite ready to accept he is any different to anyone else, and part of me has been persuaded that he isnt. But I think to be fair to him, so that we can understand more his unique ways, its time to find out!

Sorry if this has been covered before, im rushing this out at work. Any comments would be very helpful and please dont take this the wrong way, I genuinely love some of these ways, just the ones others dont understand I think would be fair to him to uncover what might be causing it....

Beano

Hi there,

If you are concerned, then the best thing to do would be to have an assessment. Some of these issues might be down to him being a teenager, but it seems that they've been present since he was younger. How does your son feel about an assessment?

I don't know that there is enough there to make an educated guess. When your child was younger did he have a lot of sensory issues, rigidity, trouble communicating (not necessarily language but pragmatic communication?

I agree with Marcia and ASDMommyASDKid.

In addition, I think it's important to note that diagnosis really, truly changes nothing. He is who he is, no matter what label gets attached to him. You know his ways very well, and diagnosis won't change that. It is interesting to realize that some things we tend to think of as unique, personal characteristics are actually part of larger inherited patterns, but in the end the expression of those patterns in each person truly is unique.

This calls to mind part of a poem:
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."

I can only tell you that it sounds like it is worth investigating, if your son is open to it.

Just be aware there are some idiot professionals out there so if the first answer doesn't sit well with your instincts, try someone else.

If he IS ASD, be careful of describing him as "not motivated." That is a trap people who don't understand autism can fall into. We assume something is easy for the child, when the truth is that they don't actually know how to do it, or know it will take so much out of them that it isn't worth the cost. No one can be motivated when all they see is an impermeable brick wall that they truly believe can never be crossed, or that will take so much out of them it isn't worth crossing. We all make those little calculations every day deciding where to put our energy, but essential to making that calculation accurately for someone else is knowing what the real effort and cost is, not what we assume it is. EVERYTHING is perceived differently by someone with ASD, every little thing. What is easy and a no-brainer to us, might as well be Mount Everest to them, and vice-a-versa. So be very, very careful about allowing labels like "unmotivated" to seep into your vocabulary. If he knows you see him that way, it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

From your description, I voted no.
Are there a few traits there? Yup.
Are they interfering significantly with his ability to manage his daily life? Doesn't sound like it.

Here's my thought: if you have enough concern to come to a forum about the autism spectrum and ask, that alone is an indication that you need a formal assessment. You aren't here for no reason: obviously there is something going on that concerns you. We don't know your child the way you do: you are the expert.

Let's put it this way, if you thought your child had trouble seeing or hearing, you'd immediately send them to a specialist to check their eyes and ears no matter their age, right? This doesn't mean you are assuming they are blind or deaf, but that making sure all is well is a part of taking care of yourself. Slight deficits in hearing or sight are easily addressed with a small intervention; severe deficits with hearing or sight need immediate attention. Neurology is no different - and that's the way I would frame it for your son, if he's concerned about a screening.

An assessment isn't like major surgery: a specialist (and make sure you find a specialist in developmental disorders) will look into all the areas where deficits appear and see if it adds up to autism. All that said, even if you DON'T get a diagnosis of autism, you should still look for help that makes sense to you. Don't forget that YOU are the specialist when it comes to your child.

I'm just going to try to unpack your list a bit, and let you know what I'm hearing you say. The following points tell me you think there might be deficits in your son's ability to communicate effectively and to understand communication effectively:

These points sound like you are concerned about sensory issues or things possibly related to sensory issues:



These sound like you're seeing some rigid behaviors:



Even though there is overlap, there are separate therapies for all three of these areas - therapies that are common interventions for children on the autism spectrum: social skills or pragmatic speech therapy for the communication/social issues, Occupational therapy for the sensory issues, and behavioral therapy to help develop flexibility. If you don't get a diagnosis, you can get screenings in each separate area and see how that goes.

Where are you? (Country, Province/Region/State?) The healthcare systems vary wildly from country to country, and we've got members here from all over the world who can help point you in the right direction.

In the US, the CDC offers this information: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/screening.html and http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-screening.html and the National Institute of Mental Health (in particular, their guideline that suggests you find a multidisciplinary team for the assessment, so they are tested by a speech therapist, an OT (occupational therapist) a developmental pediatrician, etc. all in one place (which worked on our personal experience with our then 10-year-old) http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publicat ... shtml#pub3 These multidisciplinary facilities are sometimes called "developmental centers."

The CDC has a list of myths about screening, I'd like to draw your attention to this one:


If you are elsewhere, let us know and we'll see if parents from your country can respond. I know things get complicated in the UK with the public health system there, although once you're past the screening it is easier.

It sounds likely, but I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet. Definitely get him checked out, and make sure you do it before he turns 18. I've heard that adult autism isn't taken seriously in a lot of places, unless the person in question also has some sort of an intellectual disability.

To everyone for taking the trouble to reply, all information is appreciated and and very informative. We are in the UK and since writing this post have booked and appt, which is now leading to a referral, so fingers crossed....

Just so you know. You are welcome here with or without a diagnosis. I have found the ideas on here have opened my eyes to understanding the wide variety of underlying reasons for behavior and to consider and search more diligently to better help both my son with Aspergers and my daughter who is NT (neurotypical, not aspergers).

Let us know how it goes and if you have any questions about testing, please ask.

Keep us posted and good luck! Also, you might want to take some time to review the posts stickied on the top of this board: there are all kinds of resources there that may help you if and when the professionals confuse you. There is a LOT of jargon to navigate, and it depends entirely on who you wind up with how well they will support you.

Feel free to post UK-specific questions, but I'd do it separately with that in the title of the post - that way members who have already navigated your healthcare system can post to offer insight.

The few ASD people I'v met (including my daughter) love screen time. Not ASD specific


Not necessarily ASD specific


It just means he's fidgety and may have attention issues


It means he is sensory, I've seen NTs who do this


Again attention issue, not necessarily ASD


Plenty of kids do this to parents


As are a large proportion of NT kids


Obsessions could be ASD linked


ADHD again

.
Having friends means he's more likely to be NT and less likely to be ASD


fear of groups is possibly ASD but almost every ASD kid I recall loves escalators


Yep, he is most likely got symptoms of ADD or ADHD but the evidence you've presented does not fit that well with an Aspergers/HFA diagnosis. Perhaps when he is older and aspects of his behavior interfere with his functioning or social/study/work life then he may pursue this question himself.

Separate from the assessment process, you can also work on improving things in the areas that are concerning. Like for very stubborn kids (you wrote you're both frustrated) Ross Greene has written really helpful books. Or reading about sensory issues might be helpful. You'll be learning stuff that might make life smoother, whichever way the assessment turns out.

Respectfully, I'd be careful saying things like this: this specific statement is what kept my son from getting appropriate support until he was 10. There are plenty of social kids with friends with an ASD; I know at least a half-dozen in our school district alone, in several different levels of impairment.

Um, a person can have friends and be on the spectrum. I don't have MUCH of a social life, but I definitely have a few good friends. I don't hang out with them as much as an NT would, but still.

It seems as if he could be a kid with many features of many disorders/differences, with not one thing really dominating. He could be within the definition of the "Broad Autism Phenotype" without being autism-diagnosable.

I'm glad you're seeking a professional diagnosis.

I would encourage you folks to really keep an eye out for him, and on him (without infringing upon his privacy too much). I would teach him, especially, to "treat people as he/himself wants to be treated." I would preach that he must respect other people, and himself.