My son

Post Reply New Topic

He will be 2 this coming 20th,
he likes to play and be obnoxious,
he demands most all my attention, and that ok by me,
other then when I get on the net or try and watch TV,
then when I watch TV he pushes the buttons relentlessly,
and when I am on the net he goes striate for the phone jacks.
he is VARY BRIGHT, a bit slow on his social skills when dealing with new people,
and his language skills are behind,
I been working with him on those things.
He has not been feeling good lately, he has a bad cold, but that don't slow him down any he-he.
during thanks giving I had gotten him a whole book shelf of children's books I read to him,
before the weather gone cold we enjoyed going out to the parks,
we went out to a place called the eagles now and then to eat, he liked it there,
people would go play the claw machine and win him toys.
its kinda like the elks club, a family place.
when at home we play most all the time, I enjoy playing with him.
when we eat I let him pick what he wants me to make (of course I only let him pick out of whats good for him).
same when we go shopping, I pick a few things healthy and then let him pick out of those.
as for snacks I line up around 4-6 healthy foods for him to go help him self to any time he wants them,
same for drinks, he got milk or a couple kinds of juice to choose from.
he used to be into mostly stuffed animals, but I been getting him in to toy cars
and plastic cartoon toys and the like showing him how to play with them,
he also likes playing with the balls, we roll them back and forth all the time,
and he loves peekaboo, he does it to me all the time now to start the play.
when at the end of the day, he loves to use me as a pillow at times,
or just throws his tinny arms and legs over me,
this seems ok, but when he is in a cranky mood or sleeping restlessly at night he kicks allot.
but boy you should see his smiles and hear his laughter, he is always a joy to be with and around.
I do not know what I would do with my self without him in my life,
its like I waited all my life for him to come into being,
thats why I would never just give up on him.
I dedicated my life to raising him,
many people want that big house, big car, big stereo, etc etc,
alls I ever wanted was what I got now, my baby
(and well maybe an happy and healthy relationship would have been nice, but I give up on that part)
I am lucky to have what I got with him, and I will NEVER just walk away from that.
I love being a father, he is my buddy and best friend.

.

What a beautiful tribute to your son. You sound like an excellent father!

The only thing better than one son ..... is three sons!! (I have 3 sons).

Helen

first post nice,
second post scary...

You wrote in another post that your ex is diagnosed with Asperger's. How do you know that she isn't a member here? You even have what I assume is a picture of you in your avatar, which is nice, but, she would be able to identify you immediately, and all these posts could be subpoenaed. This happened to a woman on another board I belong to, whose husband subpoenaed her posts during a custody dispute. Anything you post publicly is no longer under your control.

Courts generally are not going to be punitive towards women for their relationship history unless they were involved with drug or alcohol abusers, or men who are physically abusive. That they might have been promiscuous, or jumped early to a new relationship before one is over, is not necessarily going to carry much weight in custodial decisions. The court could point out that you were knowingly the 4th (5th?) father/ boyfriend, so if you found this aspect of her lifestyle unfit, why did you enter into a relationship with her to begin with, only to use that facet against her now? You will appear inconsistent.

You're clearly very angry and bitter, but you need to be careful not to let all this cloud your judgment. If your son is better of with you, then good, but how is taking a child away from his mother any better than taking him away from his father? Unless one parent is abusive or an addict, or involved with an abuser or addict, a child usually will enjoy having the company of both parents in his life. You need to consider this from his longterm perspective.

Pandora, a lot of stuff has been editted out.

I am so depressed over this whole thing,
One of the things I thought I loved about my ex
was her honesty and the way she treated her
ex-husband dealing with their children,
now I am finding her lying to her friends about me,
she broke her word to me majorly,
I promised her that I would never drink "while our child was in my care"
and I kept my word, and we promised each other we would never
try and take our child from one or the other as long as we never put
our child in danger or in harms way or try and take him from each other,
and I have not, I kept my word, while she has not.
I have been starting to realize its not her being afraid of my drinking
while our child is in my care, thats just her excuse she is trying to use
to take our child from me and that she gives to others,
if she was really worried about it she would not have ignored our child
and let me keep him with me for a couple months span of time,
she knows I do not drink that much, if hardly at all any more, no, its all about control.
I been realizing that she lets her ex-husband have the children
so much mostly because she felt safe about being able to
take them any time she chose, where with me its more of a
control freak issue, she feels I can challenge her and she does not like it,
she is the one who started it all,
I wanted things like she had with her ex-husband,
If she had not threatened me with taking our child from me
then I would not have filed for custody, and when I filed I thought
I was doing right and good by filing jointly equally and fairly as much
as I could, I just wanted to protect my rights as a parent and father,
I did not want to feel threatened or controlled my self.
now she is trying to file for everything and trying to leave me with NOTHING.
just so she can feel that she is in control and safely in power over our child,
and over me in some ways as well, with her ex-husband she kinda weirded out
when she thought he was about to date or something, I did not really understand why,
now I do, its ok for her to find someone new, but she don't like her ex's with children
doing the same, feeling perhaps that we may be trying to replace her in the children's lives
with a new mother, I do not think she likes me trying to find someone new, with her
ex-husband he mostly was/is an workaholic and seems to care little for finding someone new,
but I am something else entirely, I been actively trying to find someone new in my life,
but never to replace her in my child's life as she is now trying to do with our child and her
new boyfriend.
she did not really start to try to take our child from me untill she realised that
(1) I was really trying to find my self dates,
(2) Just like I was trying to do with her, in all fairness,
I was trying to be considerate with her dealing with our child,
trying to consult her before doing anything with our child
that I felt she should be involved with or know about,
I never tried to control her,
she refused to do the same.
the last thing I basically said to her before she went off the deep end on me was that,
I am going to treat her the same way she treated me until she started getting the point
and decided to start trying to work and communicate with me on some of the issues
dealing with our child.

I did not want things to go this way,
why does she have to be such a god damn control freak.
she has become so unreasonable and cold and uncaring and
unsharing of our child and me.
she has some major issues, when I found that I had issues that
I needed to deal with I worked on them, she refuses to see her
self and what reflection it has on the children and what they learn from her and see
and what it does to them having to live with her issues that she refuses to address.
my child can see me learn and grow and adapt and change,
and perhaps learn how to do the same improving the quality of his own life in this regard,
she wants to take that chance to learn those things from me by removing me out of his life,
sadly he will never see those quality's coming from her, she refuses to grow and change,
now I am starting to understand why her children act the way they do,
they learn it from her, then she flips out on them when they treat her
the same way she is teaching them.
where all our child will ever see and learn from her,
is that she tries to control things and is unwilling to grow and change,
and flips out if she cant get what she wants.
but the sad and damn thing of it is,
she is good at getting what she wants,
even if its detrimental to the mental health and needs of our child,
its going to be a long hard fight.
and it did not need to be this way,
I have always tried to be reasonable with her,
she does not even want to meet me half way or listen to reason,
its got to be all her way or nothing.
this is so not right, not just for me, but our child as well.
yes I have made mistakes in my life, but I grew because of them,
where she is stagnant and unyielding and personally blind to her
own self need for personal growth.
I cant let her win full custody,
she would never let me have him back, that would be losing some control,
and every time I started to look at someone new she would try and keep our child from me,
if she won it would hurt my child to much from him not learning how
to deal more properly and fairly with honer and pride self esteem with
personal issues in his life, he wouldn't know how to personally grow like
his mother and then be stuck in life never learning how to properly deal
with personal growth issues, he would become a control freak like his mother.
he needs me, before he grows up to do the same to others and his children
like she is now trying to do to me and our son,
I am starting to see why she seems to have no empathy,
nor cares about how this makes me feel or even how its going to
affect our child over the years to come,
it makes her feel out of control.

at least I can finely and honestly understand and know why
she is doing all this, I kinda knew before, I just did not see or understand
the whole scope of it all and how deep her own issues went, in her youth her
parents striped her of any control in her life, now she feels she still has to
fight for every scrap she can get to keep control over her own life and
the children in it, I do not think she can see all the dishonor in all this,
or what affect it has on the children whom she says she love so much,
or if she does she just does not care.

(sigh)

Who cares if his ex is on here. I doubt she still comes here. I don't even see her posts. I have no problem talking about my last boyfriend on here and I know he comes on here but that doesn't stop me from talking about him or editing my posts. I;d love for him to see my anger and frustration about him and how I feel which I doubt he reads my posts anyway so it doesn't matter. As long as you don't say that person's WP name, you're fine.

She should be seeing Mutant's posts and see all the pain he is going through or did he edit it just to hide the pain so she won't know and want to hurt him more.

She knows what she is doing is wrong, and why she is doing it,
when we was last in court, she would not even look me in the eye.
she knew deep down inside that she was going to do this to me
long before we broke up, she told me as much, she knows she is doing wrong,
just I did not understand what she was trying to say at the time or why.
it took me a long long time to figure it all out,
I kept thinking its was for this reason or that reason, making things
more complicated then they really was, no, its simple,
she wants control,
once she has the control she wants she will most likely let me have him more often
according to her whims but I will have no say-so in my child's life ever.
but thats only if she gets things her way, but its not going to end that way,
but the odds are she will keep fighting until she gets her way
or loses him to me all together.
right now she feels so self assured she will get what she wants,
so assured she will never listen to reason or what is right,
not until she realises she may start to loose him,
but by then when she finely starts trying to work on things with me
because she finds she cant get what she wants,
I will be to the point I will most likely tell her to go screw her self,
perhaps she will learn something out of it all.
one way or another, I will end up with "at least" half custody,
at least.
how much of the custody I will try to get in the end depends on
how hard and how much she tries to strip my child from me,
and the more she tries the less I will in the end care about what she
wants or needs concerning our child and the less I will care in the end
about how it will affect everyone concerned even if I must somehow make
her lose all her children to gain my child back.
do not get me wrong, even if i somehow ended up with full custody
my child still needs us both in his life, no matter how much she piss's me off,
I will at least let her have what she is/was willing to offer me in the end,
for my childs sake.

Shame it has come to this. I don't know if she has acted very responsibly and despite the idea of "no-fault divorce", in reality it is anything but.

And yes I do believe she is coming to this forum,
just under a new name so I do not know what she is calling her self now,
this forum has no way for me to see who all joined and on what dates listed.
if I could see such a list I could easily tell her from the rest,
or she is coming by on her old name and just not posting,
I just have not seen her name pop up while browsing.
she most likely wouldn't post, just keep watch and tabs on me and what I say,
hoping to gleam what tricks I may have up my sleeve for court and perhaps
something she could use against me.
as for guilt, she has no sense of empathy,
only her own desire to win and gain full control.

as for why I keep editing my posts out,
even just the simple things I say can show the direction I intend to take things in court,
for the longest I just wanted her to understand and see things from my perspective,
feeing perhaps it was all just an misunderstanding, feeling if she seen and understood
the full scope of what she is attempting to do and how it would affect not only her but my
self and our child for the rest of our lives then perhaps she would start to come to reason,
and much of what I had written was out of simple frustration and confusion, some things
I had posted was out of anger and later after I calmed down I realize in truth I would not
or could not be that way and even if I could I would not for my child's sake, I must think of
him first always, no matter how much I hurt over this, its not easy not letting those feelings
bleed through in the things I say at times, and when I find that they do I edit them out later.
I have a bad habit of that, not only that, but I do not care for leaving,- as one might say,-
paper trails.