RE: Kids w/ Classic Autism, PDD-NOS & Speech Delays

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Im really angry right now at these so called French Autism specialists. We have been slowly watching out daughter regress the past few months. Today I cornered her aide who was especially picked out because she speaks some English. She told me that she noticed that Maddy is more upset lately and gets upset with her because the therapist told her she was not allowed to speak to Maddy in English anymore. What a bunch of A HOLES!! !! ! Im so pissed! First they are so behind here in Autism therapy its sickening. There is NO early intervention and very little decent therapy then we have this idiot who wants to force my child who only just learned to talk a few years ago and is not all that great at it (but WAS making a lot of progress) speak only in French. Im sorry but English is difficult enough for her and I understand that they want her to learn French and she is s l o w l y...like she is supposed to.
Im just livid right now....they have my daughter so stressed out she has regressed about two years in the past few months!

You know why at last. I read your post but I dodn't know how to help you...
Now you can solve this problem.

Sorry about the angry outburst....I just didnt have another outlet. I had my husband talk to the teacher and they say that they will back off a bit and not try to force her anymore....speak some English like they were before. It just makes me angry that the therapist told my daughters aide this without even informing us as if she owns my child....we the parents are not important. Anyway, again, I am sorry I was angry....It is just very frustrating. These people are supposed to be experts in the field of autism and they should know that pushing an autistic child causes stress and that causes them to shut down and or regress. Her teacher is very impressed with how smart she is and that she is writing words (even in French) and doing other academic things that the other kids are not able to do. So I guess the teacher and the therapist think that since she is so smart that she should be able to learn French in a few months if they pressure her. Also it took me years to get this child to ask for help and I was told by her aide that when she asks for help that she was also told to refuse....so Im sure you guys as parents of autistic children can understand why Im so angry. Yes my child is smart and yes she may be able to write words and even read them but its because she is very visual....speaking is a different matter. As I have told these people over and over....she just learned to speak around 4 years old give the kid a break. I had my husband tell them that pushing her is going to make her not speak any language at all which is the direction she is going in.
It makes a lot of sense now to me why she was doing better on the weekends, its because she was here with us. We make learning French fun for her we do not force it down her throat or refuse to answer her if she speaks English....and we sure as heck dont ignore her when she asks for help.
Am I wrong to think these people are morons? I am just ready to yank my daughter out of school and therapy but I know that is not going to be the right thing to do either.

I used to play red light, green light with my kids to keep them from running off. I think if you use a word that you dont use for anything else and make a game out of it, it works much better.....like freeze or Pickle...anything. My kids thought the red light, green light was fun so they would stop if I yelled "RED LIGHT". It was easier for my autie to pick up games when played with my aspie because she would mimic him. My daughter scared me not long ago though when she was upset that I would not let her pick the neighbors flowers and she ran out in the street. I have difficulty walking because of my disease (I walk with a cane) so I could not run after her...fortunately there were no cars but that was really scary. We talked about it and hopefully she wont do that again but in the heat of the moment you never know. I think the word "stop" is good because when you freak out its one word that comes to mind other than "no"....its also kind of a sharp word if you think about it.
Have either of you looked into getting a therapy dog? Just a thought.
Thought Id throw in an edit. I would look into therapy dogs if my daughter cared about animals....its not that she dislikes them its just that she doesnt pay any attention to them. She doesnt have that bond like a lot of Auties do....like I do. I understand my cats better than any person and they can make me feel better when people can not. My husbands pretty good too, he just "gets" me.

Last edited by liloleme on 30 May 2011, 2:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Mine is only allowed out in the street if he's holding someone's hand. For a long while I went for walks with him everyday and insisted he hold my hand even if he didn't want to until he stopped veering off into the street or onto other people's properties all the while I did a lot of explaining as to why the street is dangerous. Also when he does try to go into the street because he doesn't respond quickly to "stop" or "no" I make a sharp barking kind of sound "Ah! Ah! Ah!" because that stops him in his tracks. Once he was behaving well on the walks I started letting him run free but I'd follow behind him, and when he starts to sneak out into the street I'm right there behind him, I wait for him to take that first step, then I scold him.... We got him a little swimming pool and he was playing with it in the front yard yesterday, he wandered off the property and ran down the sidewalk a lot, but he didn't once try to go into the street, so I think it's working. Today is his third birthday.

I don't think you have to apologize for being angry. You are supposed to be your child's advocate, and quite frankly it seems to me they lost their minds. What they did is completely counter intuitive based on what any of us, whatever end of the spectrum, know about ASD kids.

I wonder if we should get it stickied, maybe change the title, and maybe get an intro added in the first post? I actually still hold enough tools to do that (from when I used to be a moderator) if I get permission from the mod team, first. I don't read the thread much because it isn't for me, but I love that you all have made such good use of it.

Thank you DW_a_mom.....I agree they have lost their minds. I just cant see how they help autistic children if this is their way of handling things. Also I think it would be great if we could get this thread stickied.

Have you read this thread lilolme?
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt144689.html
Some of its horrible reading, do they really wraps kids up in wet blankets and pack them in closets over there?!
It certainly seems their understanding of Autism is..poor.

Oh DW that would be great. Maybe just "Forum for Parents with Autistic kids" Thread - something simple and socially inclusive.

I did try this for a while but my little girl is a bit hyper and when the impulse hits she likes to bolt like the street is a field of wild grass.......I'm trying to reinforce so that the message sticks and overcomes her natural impulse.

Thanks Liloeme
My daughter is actually good at traffic lights - she does the right thing there. It's only at uncontrolled sections of road or carparks.

There used ot be a childrens song about stopping at the kerb - I might see if I can download it from youtube.

Yes I did read about that....horrible! From what I understand they did stop that as some children died from hypothermia, but it is scary that they were still doing it only a few years ago....completely barbaric. Supposedly that documentary started a huge outcry and changed a lot of things but they are obviously still severely behind.
My husband has a coworker that has a 23 year old Autistic son. She has become an advocate over the years due to what they have done to her son here in France. She has been helping us, putting us in touch with some better organizations, that can help us this summer. When her son was about four he was starting to speak but the doctor told her that he was too aggressive and she needed to put him in this specialized school to help him. It was more like an institution. He was there less than a year and they did the cold wet sheet wrapping and were also otherwise physically abusing the kids. They were prosecuted and sent to jail for child abuse, thankfully but a lot of damage was done to a lot of kids. Her son was completely non verbal and far worse behavior wise, as one can imagine, after this. She feels very guilty but she didnt know any better at the time. Her son remains basically non verbal but she says every once in awhile he will say "yes" or "no" and some other words. I feel very sad for her.
Maddy's aide was very relieved when we told her that she did not have to follow the orders of this moronic therapist. She admitting to me this morning that she felt so bad when Maddy would cry because she would not speak to her in English and that she has noticed how stressed she is. Our efforts of reinstating some of our old communication with pictures and more simplistic sentences and our engaging her more with games is already paying off. She rattled off an entire sentence this morning on our way to school. She said "He has a blue bike" when boy walked past us with his bike. This is the first time in about two weeks. EDIT: I guess I should say appropriate, non scripted sentence.
Im not sure what Im going to do about the therapy. I dont want to send my children to this place if they are going to do this type of pressuring and pushing.

I have permission to make the sticky, but a pretty crazy week, so maybe I'll get the sticky part done but will have to wait with the appropriate notes et al.

Meanwhile, anyone have thoughts on a solid, clear title inviting to new parents? I don't think we can just say "with autism" because if the DSM gets it way AS v autism will no longer be a distinction; most of our high functioning or less impaired members think of themselves as being autistic. Maybe "classic autism" "more severely impaired" or ??? Don't worry too much about who you leave out, people open threads anyway, and the purpose of the thread can be clarified when I write a head note.

I did think the whole "I feel like I'm on a moon observing WP" was poignant.

Anyway, got to get to work ...

I usually use the term Classic Autism because it implies that my daughter is not the same as my son and considering Asperger's was not really used much until just recently (in the 90's) the word "classic" fits. I have also referred to my daughter as having Kanner Autism because it was founded and studied by Leo Kanner. I think maybe the PDD-NOS should stay as well.......Classic Autism and PDD-NOS???

How about parents with kids with non-verbal developmental delay? or speech delay? this way we can include PDD-NOS and those AS kids who did have delays in speech.