So many parents' antics piss me off.

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Jimbeaux,

Your situation may be very close to what we deal with with our DS. Just turned 16 today and is very much underweight.

Sonic grilled chicken sandwich is about all he will eat for protein. God help me if he ever decides he doesn't like that any more.

But we have to drive to the Sonic EVERY #&$% DAY to get his grilled chicken.

At home we can sometimes get Macaroni and Cheese into him. Ramon Noodles. Maybe a waffle on a good day.

I'm at my wit's end, I don't know how to get some pounds on the boy. He won't eat ANYTHING.

Haven't seen Jimbuex here for a very long time ...

It's good to look at the posting dates before replying.

Wow. Yep, I didn't even look.
Oh well . . . .

I give my son the choice of what he wants to eat BEFORE I cook.. sometimes. There are 3 members in our family and we all have a say, at one time or another, of what we want to eat. We're not always going to jive, agree, or like what the other has chosen and as long as it's healthy, suck it up. I tell my son: We don't always have to like what we eat. I don't run a restaurant. If there's something he particularly dislikes, I will respect his wishes and know not to cook it the next time. Having said that, I don't always cook his favourite foods and that's fine. Compromise.. diversity. How is a child to know what he likes and dislikes if we don't give them an opportunity to try it first?

I think "forcing" a child to eat a non-favourite food item, teaches him/her flexibility. Nothing wrong with that. We don't always get what we want and we need to prepare our children to accept the times when we don't. I can't say I entirely agree with the OP's post. I do agree that we have to be careful in how we express ourselves so we're not imposing our own subjective opinions on them.

On the topic of food.

I like to think moderation is the key. I know its hard, since I have J bird who has so many texture issues, but I think it really doesn't matter if one day they don't get a protein. Food in moderation.

I heard that trying to force a child to eat something will make them hate that food in the future and resent it. My husband will not eat fish because he was forced to eat it at five years old.

Instead they now say you need to encourage a child to eat something like "Eating broccoli makes your body healthy, this doesn't give your body what it needs." Or telling them that milk makes their bones stronger.

But if your child will not eat anything you make or buy, then you have a problem. I hope my son won't be like that.

DW a Mom jimmy was last here in April of this year. I checked his profile.


What my mom used to do when I was a kid was if she made dinner and I refused to eat it, she made me go to bed hungry but if I complained about being hungry, she tell me to have left overs from dinner. But I went to bed hungry anyway. But if I was like that all the time with food or everyday, then she have a problem. Luckily I didn't dislike lot of food and ate almost anything she made. She also wouldn't let me have dessert unless I ate enough on my plate. But hey just as long as I had breakfast and lunch but never had dinner because I didn't like what she made, then it wouldn't be a problem since I was still eating twice a day.


My brother was a picky eater for years so mom always had to make something else for him that he would eat or cook something separate for him she know he would eat. Then at age eight, she took someone's advice and did what she did to her child. Every dinner she have my brother cook himself some corn dogs while we eat what she made. After a while he got tired of having the same thing everyday and having to prepare his own food, he started to eat what she made. The plan worked.


I wouldn't expect my child to like every food in the world because I sure don't but it's not the end of the world if I never have it. If my kid doesn't like fish, oh well, he wouldn't have to eat it. But it be a problem if he almost didn't like anything we made. My brother would look at what my mother make and decide he doesn't like it.

My 14 year old niece is still picky and my sister in law buys her what she likes but I wonder what would happen if she just quit doing it and only bought what she needed than catering her? Would she starve and lose weight and get skinny or just give in and start eating what she has? One time at my apartment, she wouldn't eat what my husband made and I just wanted her to go hungry for the rest of the evening because it was her choice, either go hungry or eat what we made but my husband decided to cook her something she'd eat. I don't think it's right to eat other people's food just because you wouldn't eat what they offered (unless you have a food allergy to something they make or offer) but my husband said we can always buy another one since we have the money.

Okay if my son didn't like sauce on his noodles, we can still cook them but we would serve them to him plain while we put the sauce on the rest. No biggie. That is something my mom used to do. I used to not like sauce on my noodles so mom always had the whole family pour their own sauce on their noodles.

If a child orders the same thing every time they eat out, no biggie because it's not like they eat out everyday. I used to eat the same thing every time we go to fast food or buffets or go get pizza. I used to have cheese pizza only when they order pizza so one side be cheese and the other be pepperoni and the other pizza be what my parents wanted.

So it's not all black and white when it comes to what kids don't like. I think they should have a choice to what they want and what they don't want but if it goes too far, then it's time to not give in. Because like I say, what if the child won't eat anything you make or buy? I will not spend another 200 bucks on groceries for my child when we can spend $200 total (assuming that's how much we be spending in the future on food for every two weeks since food prices have gone up) on groceries. Okay I can buy my kid cereal he likes or buy some food he likes for his lunch or cook his eggs however he likes it because it's not black and white. Mom used to ask us kids what do we want for dinner or what do we want for breakfast, cold cereal or hot cereal. For dinner she ask us what we want for dinner but she didn't ask us that everyday. She sometimes let us decide. Then we had to pick what we wanted but it had to be what we had in the house. She also used to ask us what we wanted for dessert if we had more than one choice in the house for it. Like if she bought stuff to make straw berry shortcake, she still ask us if we wanted ice cream or that.

While the op was a long time ago, the topic is really relevant to me!

My DS will just refuse to eat stuff he doesn't like and will only eat a very few replacement foods. He won't eat when he's hungry. He will refuse to eat (politely, I might add). He will get hungry and frantically look for something to eat, but nothing will be "right". He will get really miserable and not feel well, still not eating. Finally, he will eat something, but always a cab or fat or sugar, never a protein. It would be easy for me to say no, he would eventually loose control and meltdown. It wouldn't be a tantrum over wanting anything in particular, rather a meltdown from not feeling right. At that point he would refuse all choices even his favorite treat.

The problem is that due to his meds, he's really overweight and I need to reduce the carbs, sugars and fats - well, for this kid, there's nothing else!

I have him home right now and am weaning him off the meds, hoping that will help. Otherwise, I'm just trying to be sure he's eating the best quality foods possible

Yeah, I know that he can get protien from other sources, he likes beans and dairy, with cheese as his favorite!. The pasta we eat is whole wheat and it also has protien. Tofu is out, way out.

We eat a lot of fruit, steel cut oatmeal (the tasty ganola has too much sugar), he will eat pistashios - all of this stuff is getting him the nutrients he needs but at high calories.

He won't eat the lighter versions, and is pretty large. It is pretty hard on him and is causing him to be less active.

Since he was a little boy he has been this way.

Thanks for the offer Pandora - He's just not willing. Personally, I would like us to try gluten free, but he has to be willing first. Hopefully some willingness will come sooner rather than later.

And that is the maddening thing. We as parents know what proper diet is, but if the kid won't eat it, there is no solution.
My son is underweight enough that I am very worried, but I find that his condition is very much like the rest of this . . . . adventure. That is, completely out of my control.
To add to his condition, he is (at 16 years) approaching 6 feet in height. He would probably be thin under the best of conditions.
As it is, he is frighteningly underweight.
Sometimes he wanders around the pantry, obviously hungry, but can't tell us what he wants, and any suggestion is instantly dismissed. We have learned not to make suggestions, as once every great while he will ask for Mac&Cheese or something that we can help him with. But only if he asks, never if we suggest.
The question I suppose I have is, how do we influence DS to eat, when he just refuses to do so? This not an idle question, but could be key to a potentially dangerous situation.
No ill effects as of yet that I can document, but if we don't get this figured out, I can see very real health issues on the horizon.
The kid is smarter than me. Hands down. And I know this roadblock must be more frustrating to him than I can even imagine. Of course he must realize that he needs to eat, certainly wants to eat, but has demons that will not allow him to do so.
How frustrating that must be . . . .

Funny how alike the kids are, even if you look at them and see opposites! When my ds gets too hungry, all rational thought ends and he cannot choose what to eat. What I have found is that if I can just offer him the most tasty treat, he will then move on to other healthier choices.

It is really crazy though, I want him to eat healthy and then when faced with his absolute panic and hunger, I would be happy for him to eat anything and then he wont. Tonight we went out to eat, and someone insulted him (thought he was a girl) he sat for 5 or 10 minutes with the menu over his face, I thought we were going to have a big, public meltdown. It didn't happen, but then he couldn't order. He didn't want anything. I could tell if he didn't eat, he would lose all control. I finally got him to have just a bite of a fresh, hot, tortilla with some beans & rice. He ended up eating the whole thing, and then another tortilla, and the meltdown just passed. He just couldn't deal with the hunger (and insult). Once the hunger was removed, he was almost fine.

He's happily playing on the x-box with his virtural friends. I am really grateful that theres a place where he feels whole perfect and complete. He's not the weird fat kid. Gaming certainly does have an upside!

Neanderthal.....I have been thinking about your situation. What would happen if you wrote your son about your concerns about his health? If you said something to the effect of, "you don't want him taken from the home because he is malnurished, and are afraid that if he can't resolve it, that's what will happen." If he is actually developing anorexia, that may be necessary. Perhaps offer some high calorie nutrient shakes to have on hand for when he doesn't want to or can't eat.