17 Aug 2009, 1:48 pm
My son has diagnosed As, less than 2 years ago, and is dealing with all the high school issues and about life, as well.
I have been so deeply encouraged and quite impressed by the very thoughtful and intelligent advice and input from people (especially older teens and 20 somethings).
I spend many nights up late reading from all forums. Sometimes I get overwhelmed. I see there is a lot to deal with and no easy answers. But I so appreciate the many really decent people here. (especially you moms).
I have TONS of hope for my son. We didn't know why he was "different", but now we do. So he's trying to understand himself and how to handle life with the needs he has(thank God for IEP, never heard of it til the end of 10th grade!)
I love reading all that is shared here. I need to know all I can from people who have been there!
That's exactly how I feel since I was pointed in this direction. (another user also on another Autism forum) Overwhlemed, yet KNOWING I have found a place with real advice, real support and REAL answers.
In real life, I feel very alone when it comes to parenting a child with Autism. My friends pity me and OMG I HATE THAT. When I think of issues that have going on, THAT'S some crap to pity! (seriously, the people I know are wacked
But, yes, I have shied away from a lot of the people in my life or they shied away from me. It's easier that way anyway. I spend much of my time researching Autism and often find I have little else to talk about and no one around me cares... so here I am. I find I fit in better in places that are open, willing and even eager to discuss Autism. I realize at times I walk a fine line with true obsession, but, really... it's better than other things I could be obsessing over
Thank you for the welcome. I have only been here a couple of days and I feel right at home.
17 Aug 2009, 1:49 pm
17 Aug 2009, 4:37 pm
17 Aug 2009, 5:00 pm
17 Aug 2009, 5:02 pm
18 Aug 2009, 11:09 am
18 Aug 2009, 12:41 pm
18 Aug 2009, 12:41 pm
jojobean
Veteran
Joined: 12 Aug 2009
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,341
Location: In Georgia sipping a virgin pina' colada while the rest of the world is drunk
23 Aug 2009, 10:37 am
23 Aug 2009, 11:25 am
I have a story to share with you. I was diagnosed with moderate to severe pdd and later autism as a kid. when I was 12 years old I had some sort of "awakening" and for the first time became aware of those around me. Mom said it was because I was placed into a hearing impaired classroom and I was taught sign language. I also have a hearing impairment. well about a year after sign language I started waking up as I call it. Alot of my autism is still here but I am more socially aware and better able to communicate because of it. Something about sign language that teaches a visual form of communication seemed to get through to me when other forms could not. ''
However this awakening caused problems of their own. I had some tests done in cumberland maryland and they said that my mind was like someone who woke up from a very long coma with severe impulse control problems and problem solving difficulties and problems with consiquential thinking which were a bad combination for me since I set off the fire alarm at the hospital with baby powder because I heard someone else said it works. I had no idea that the whole hospital would have to evacuated including the very ill. I felt very bad for that...it just never occured to me the consquences of my actions.
so anyway progress always comes with pitfalls too..and sometimes those pitfalls can get deep as your child gets older and needing more independance.
I would advise for to remember to take care of yourself and other members of the family too because she is going to need a healthy enviroment to grow in....and you need to take care of yourself because she needs you.
Jojo
Thank you so much. I really appreciated that welcome! I can see how there would/will be issues that arise. I can't say I am "prepared" for them, because I have no idea what they will be, but I know they're in our path ahead. I am so happy to hear you had such progress with sign language. We tried some with our daughter, but her motor skills were delayed as well at the time and we didn't get very far and then she started with a lot more words. We have had several hearing tests done and as far as they can tell- they were normal. I plan on having them tested AGAIN, now that she i more verbal and interactive... I am sure this will make the tests EASIER.
As far as me, I'm definitely working on me
Had my gallbladder out on Friday!! WOW, what a weight lifted off that was!! I'm in some pain, but the crazy sick feeling I have had for almost a year now is GONE.
Thank you so much for sharing your story!! I love hearing things like this!
27 Aug 2009, 1:21 am
Hello 
I just wanted to add a bit of hope. My son was much like that too, and yet somehow, he is growing into an amazing young man. Yes, there aren't enough resources for these kids, especially in other states (I'm in California, and we have some of the best help really, it scares me what I hear from other people in other states!) but in the end, I think the most important thing we can provide is an emotionally safe place for them to be and express themselves without pressure.
The thing that got my son talking was curiosity and not being able to communicate any other way. We had a policy of always stopping what we were doing when he tried to talk to us, and give him our full attention. We would try to understand, and understandably, this was frustrating for him, but we always supported him, and tried to help him out deducing his question. It took a while but before we knew it, he could talk quite a bit. His sentences were badly structured and he'd always use weird combos of words to express ideas due to his lack of vocabulary. He also has a processing issue. This is separate from Autism, though. More akin to dyslexia.
Anyway, I wish you good luck on your journey. I think you and your daughter will do very well. Never release the vision of your daughter living a full, normal life. People will tell you she will never be 100%, but I believe she and all these kids CAN be 100%. Sure, their sense of humor will be different, maybe some will call the "odd", but that’s nothing new in society, and certainly people of a different "color" are more fun to have around than not! Even for NT's
Edit: Sometimes I think Autistic kids are more complexly developed and they simply need more time in developmental stages. I might be full of it, but none of the kids in my son's school are even remotely stupid. They're sharp as tacks but have trouble in certain academic areas, and of course, human interaction. But they’re all learning social skills very well (it’s really something every kid learns, they just do it more instinctively, aspies kind of need to learn it empirically rather than intuitively) It still can be learned! The rest is confidence building.
I suspect strongly that the antisocial aspects are derived from anxiety which I think even NT people can understand. They need a safe environment, and that means building a safe environment around them wherever they go. Everyone that’s mentally healthy to a degree can do that. If someone looks at you cross, you don’t break down and say “everyone hates me!” You go “hum, what’s THEIR problem” ‘cause you know you’re ok, Mom and dad and hubby and friends all love you, so you are OK. You take that with you and it’s your shield. You had to develop that shield in Jr. High School, remember? LOL.
Jojobean, that is such a funny, heartwarming story!! I hope you can see the humor in it too, and don't worry about it much that you caused a bit of chaos 
What a ride you're in for, eh? It’s only been a year? It’s almost like the story of Helen Keller! If you’ve never read about her, you might want to look into it. Heck, you are going to have to write a book
27 Aug 2009, 10:55 am
[quote="IngieBee"]Hello
I just wanted to add a bit of hope. My son was much like that too, and yet somehow, he is growing into an amazing young man. Yes, there aren't enough resources for these kids, especially in other states (I'm in California, and we have some of the best help really, it scares me what I hear from other people in other states!) but in the end, I think the most important thing we can provide is an emotionally safe place for them to be and express themselves without pressure.
The thing that got my son talking was curiosity and not being able to communicate any other way. We had a policy of always stopping what we were doing when he tried to talk to us, and give him our full attention. We would try to understand, and understandably, this was frustrating for him, but we always supported him, and tried to help him out deducing his question. It took a while but before we knew it, he could talk quite a bit. His sentences were badly structured and he'd always use weird combos of words to express ideas due to his lack of vocabulary. He also has a processing issue. This is separate from Autism, though. More akin to dyslexia.
Anyway, I wish you good luck on your journey. I think you and your daughter will do very well. Never release the vision of your daughter living a full, normal life. People will tell you she will never be 100%, but I believe she and all these kids CAN be 100%. Sure, their sense of humor will be different, maybe some will call the "odd", but that’s nothing new in society, and certainly people of a different "color" are more fun to have around than not! Even for NT's
Edit: Sometimes I think Autistic kids are more complexly developed and they simply need more time in developmental stages. I might be full of it, but none of the kids in my son's school are even remotely stupid. They're sharp as tacks but have trouble in certain academic areas, and of course, human interaction. But they’re all learning social skills very well (it’s really something every kid learns, they just do it more instinctively, aspies kind of need to learn it empirically rather than intuitively) It still can be learned! The rest is confidence building.
I suspect strongly that the antisocial aspects are derived from anxiety which I think even NT people can understand. They need a safe environment, and that means building a safe environment around them wherever they go. Everyone that’s mentally healthy to a degree can do that. If someone looks at you cross, you don’t break down and say “everyone hates me!” You go “hum, what’s THEIR problem” ‘cause you know you’re ok, Mom and dad and hubby and friends all love you, so you are OK. You take that with you and it’s your shield. You had to develop that shield in Jr. High School, remember? LOL.
I remember those days all too well. I have no worries for my daughter's future in regards to Autism, no matter HOW she turns out, she will be just fine and perfect in my eyes. Im not trying to "change" her, only make things easier for her as she makes her way.
Thank you for your kind words!
