Gym coach asks if he should push her or let her sit?

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I say let her sit but make her do some other kind of work during gym, maybe working on something that is difficult for her (math, reading, etc). That way she won't have to do gym which is useless and damaging for many children (because in P.E. every game is "throw the ball at the autistic kid"), but she won't learn that she can just not do things that she finds challenging or unpleasant.

Can they allow her to do some other physical activity besides playing competitive games? I'm NT and got sick every PE class when we did sports. In middle school, I still had this problem and my PE teacher was good enough to let me work on something else on the sidelines, instead of play the game.

It's a touchy question, and I want to go back to something I noted in my first post: what you don't want is for the PE experience to be so negative that your child loses interest in physical activity. Adaptive PE is a good alternative, and really getting into the reasons WHY this one child may be avoiding PE.

My AS son actually enjoyed PE until this year. He's benefited from a great program that emphasized participation instead of skill, and teachers who rewarded effort instead of talent, and taught all the kids to do the same. This year is different because there are too many trouble makers in the class, and it is the disorganization my son hates, not the activity.

My NT daughter, however, dislikes PE, despite being in pretty much the same program my son had. Being NT, she is aware of the frustrated looks her teammates sometimes give her (if my AS son was subjected to that, he remained blissfully oblivious), and has incurred a lot of injuries. I've spent a good amount of time talking with the PE teachers about being more pro-active on her behalf, and that has helped. I've had difficulty getting her interested in activity outside of school, as well: she's quit most everything as being "too hard," even though she always had asked to sign up.

It is difficult to figure out what the difference is, except maybe that my son LIKES MOVING, and my daughter doesn't quite as much. He's been easy to encourage with individual activities like hiking and biking, while my daughter has really held back. As a matter of health, people need to be active, but the goal is to make that a life long commitment, and negative experiences in school can work against it. Everyone - teachers and family - has to help the child find something they enjoy and feel good about. That cannot be done without understanding WHY the child resists the activities. It isn't a simple yes or no, force or don't force, because we don't KNOW what is happening in that particular class, or what it is that makes the one unique child want to sit out.

I think this very much depends on the child, the teacher, and the school environment. I don't think the issue has anything to do with physical fitness as that can be obtained outside of school hours. I think as one other member mentioned, the first step is to find out if she is resisting because of negative feelings about herself - either internally or externally imposed. If so, that needs to be resolved first and foremost (to the extent that it can be). If participating is going to make her feel worse about herself, then gym class will do more harm than good for her. But I don't think she should just sit it out on the sidelines - that draws unnecessary attention to her and provides her with no meaningful alternative. She should be permitted to go to the library, or the resource room (if she goes there already), or her classroom to do other work.

In some cases, opting out of gym will make an AS child more successful socially and academically. My son has SPD and gym class revs him up so high that it takes hours to calm him down again. He gets a bad reputation, feels negative about himself despite the fact this is largely outside of his control, and kids look at him as 'weird'. Not to mention the teacher is distracted by him for the entire class. There is no rule that says gym class is good for everyone. For my son, an alternative class is definitely healthier for him. Swimming, skating, and karate classes keep him more than fit outside of school.

Talk to your daughter and trust your instincts