Bros level of functioning decreases when I'm around, why?

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I do think that over time it would be great for him to gain independance. You are his sister and you love him, but you also need to have your own life. I wonder if you took him out for a while, what message would you be giving him?

Is it that he is clever, and knows that you will do just that if he continues this way? can he see the cracks in your strength and will power? There is no doubt that he truly loves you, and just does not want to let you go. If he has difficulty communicating, visual schedules are the best way for him.

I think a visual schedule of visits would really help him. Even a calendar to show him which day it is, and which day you will be visiting. And then you could mark in when he is coming to stay with you. Even if you took him out temporarily as suggested by Tracker, you could maybe show this on the calendar, so that he will understand that he will have to go back.

Visual timers are great too, which you could have a little pocket one. Just give him the warning showing him 15mins on the timer before you leave as suggested by the staff.

Maybe some simple social stories too might help, supported by pictures.

Could you make him a little 'picture album' of you and home, so that he has this as a reminder of you when he misses you? Or maybe some comfort item such as a stuffed animal with your scent on it?

This all sounds like baby stuff, but for someone in distress these things should help a little.

On the other side of it all, could you pop by without making any prior appointment, just to ease your mind about what might be 'going on' ??? Could you talk to other parents / siblings to see if they are having any similar 'problems'??

You are a wonderful sister, are there any support groups near to where you live for you to go to? This is allot of responsibility, and very stressful and distressing for you, take time out for youself too, and dont feel guilty about it........you really deserve it xx

Tracker, he does't actually type, or write or read. Not due to lack of intelligence, just a complete lack of interest/willingness. He can use sign language well enough. I tried asking him about the problem this morning while he was still at home with me, but he didn't really give me anything, just smiled really cheeky and told me he was my puppy (this is not an unusual thing for him to say, he kind of thinks he's a dog alot of the time, so it didn't really tell me anything).

FD, he is definitely that clever. And I think I am playing into a game of his just a little, but I don't want to be too quick to jump to that conclusion just in case I'm wrong and he has a genuine problem. But, yes, part of me does think the whole regression thing might be a ploy to get me to rub behind his ears for an extended amount of time. That's pretty much his favorite activity in the world and could do it all day every day, now I don't see him nearly as much as I used to when he lived with me, he doesn't get his ears rubbed as much, so plays up to get a good long rub in. But I don't know!

And thanks for all the suggestions, he actually already has a massive visual calendar in his room at the home and it's awesome. It's how he knows to have his bag packed to come home every Saturday, my visits are on there (photo of me), but I don't think he has the best concept of time or duration. One thing that is weird is that he seems genuinely surprised every time I say I'm going to leave, like it doesn't happen every week! His doctor said this might be because he forgets every time, but I seriously doubt that. About 10 years ago a photo frame fell off it's hook on the wall and made a loud sound when it hit the floor and scared the hell out of him, to this day he will not walk past hanging pictures without high caution and fear. So I know he doesn't just forget things he the upset him.

I'm thinking I might attend some of the LFA parents support groups (that actually run at the home he lives in) to see if anyone there has had a similar problem, not keen to go as I hate those sort of groups, but migh be useful.

Thanks again guys.

Strangely enough, I see the same thing in myself. My Aspie symptoms are amplified when my brother is around because I know I can let my guard down and be myself in front of him. He's one of the few people who accepts me fully like that.