Really confused...

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The restaurant really IS called Cracker barrel!

http://www.crackerbarrel.com/

WOW, THANKS for the #$%^&* explanation! I guess men love women so they have a place to put more stuff(in the woman's purse), and water turns to steam to escape capture, because it is afraid!

FIRST though, I have a few questions....

I had a cousin that was EASILY born in the early fifties, to an uncle, who married a japanese woman. They probably married not long after the war. Why would HE marry someone so CLEARLY inferior. BTW, she was FAR from docile, so don't think he thought it would be easy! EVEN on his deathbed, he livedd in the US like it was JAPAN! They EVEN had a japanese funeral, though he got an irish wake(the only non japanese part).

Are you saying that the Americans didn't see stategy in the war, etc...? The japanese were behind in some ways, but they made up for it.

And what of the blacks, mexicans, etc.... I guess you are saying that they, and probably YOU, view the whites as inferior.

And the Japanese view the Chinese as inferior, and the chinese probably view the japanese as inferior, so I guess that means they have different race classifications.

And HECK, the old testament(TORAH) says jewish people should stay with jewish people! From what I understand, the koran says moslems should be with moslems.

And did you know that history says that arabs and jews have liniage to the same father?

BTW there are PLENTY of whites to be adopted. I don't know how many are babies, but older kids sometimes ride through the whole system, since people tend to prefer babies. AND, last I knew, couples got PREFERENCE! I guess you will say madonna goes all that way because she can't get a white child?

Anyway, your explanation doesn't explain the first or second world war, various civil wars, etc.... Maybe it is ethnic differences are preference, and not race AT ALL. Even the BIBLE says ethnicity against ethnicity.

Anyway, people always love to blame whites for EVERYTHING, and act like racism is a WHITE phenomena.

Cracker Barrels were set outside in the porches at old country stores. These were usually gathering places for people who'd sit around them and talk. It has absolutely nothing to do with race. We have a CB here that we've gone to - the front porch of the place has chairs and rockers and barrels. People sit outside and talk while they wait for their table when it's busy. No one has ever worn a sheet when I've been there. I have seen people wearing white shirts tho... LOL!

I think you missread Pyschohist's post. He is explaining how he has seen one particular group of people act and think, not laying claim that it applies to any large swath of geography. Maybe he could have been clearer in phrasing that, but I found your leap to judgement unwarranted. I have known people who think as he has described, so it isn't something he inaccurately inferred.

Racism is a touchy subject, and we have to be careful to make sure we understand where someone is coming from first before we rush to judgement.

I didn't even know cracker had a racial connotation; I have never, ever heard it used that way. I did grow up knowing that n****r was a slur; there were enough people around when I was a child choosing to use it for me to be aware. I can be on the naive side, but sometimes I think a little naivitee is a good thing.

I actually think it is a shame you turned down the party invite. It might have been a good opportunity to cross bridges and figure out if maybe the story you got wasn't the accurate one, and it indicates to me that the parents are NOT trying to break the friendship. As oncebitten says, inaccuracy in repetition happens a lot with kids. Bridges should always be crossed when the opportunity is presented. Life is just better that way.

How wonderful to have inherited the house. I love the old Victorians, but they are a handful to maintain. Have you looked into the job situation in San Francisco? We live near the city, and my husband lived in the city before we got married. One thing not to pack up with you, however, is any presumption about anyone. Folks out here are aggressively politically correct.

I laughed about the "cracker" part because I know it's a derogatory word for a white, my son was laughing because he's never seen a "barrel" of crackers. Are you black? Because if are and you'd been called a "n****r" all of your life. You'd need some comic relief too.

Guess what? White people really don't care about the word 'cracker'. What does bother white people is being seen as racist just because of the color of their skin. Being called a racist is an intangible that can't be defended or really proven otherwise. How does one prove they're not? By naming all of their black friends? No. By color coding one's friends you only prove that you do differentiate them by color, which is, in and of itself, racist. Isn't the very act of using a person's skin color to determine what kind of person they are racist?

Don't judge people by the color of their skin - judge them by the content of their character.

You grew up with a chip on your shoulder because people called you that name because of your color. We grow up being accused of being hateful racists just because of the color of our skin. There are jerks in every race that fit the profiles some choose to paint, but does that mean everyone is subject to being painted with the same brush? When WE quit pointing fingers at eachother and look beyond what we've been taught to think, everyone will better for it - especially our kids.

This response is directed towards the content of this conversation, but not either post in particular.

I think it is important for everyone to realize that two wrongs do not make a right. I do not believe in behaving poorly towards others because someone did that once to you; in the end, you are the one who loses out, because in many ways our own assumptions and expectations mold the world around us into the one we expect to see. If you believe the world is going to call you names, you will create that for yourself by conscious and subconscious choices in where you live, who you associate with, etc. Is racism real? YES. I know that; I'm not blind. But is it as pervasive as some who have lived under it's ugly finger believe? NO.

I told someone long ago that it must be difficult to distinguish between the ordinary mistakes and slights in life and real racism when one has confronted racism. Experience will lead the person to jump to the racist conclusion. But that isn't always correct, because EVERYONE gets treated unfairly on a regular basis. The world isn't out to get everyone; the world is just more difficult to live in and "get right" than most people credit it with.

Given your age, RightGalaxy, if you had spent your life where I've lived I doubt you would have been called the n word as a slur more than 3 times in your life, if that. Are 3 times bad enough? Yes. But enough to need to strike back? No. You throw those 3 people into the box called, "they've got the issue" and move on.

The inescapable truth is that people do "see" race. There was an excellent article on it last year in Newsweek, where they talked about how the attempt to be colorblind is actually confusing to our kids. Kids are not born racist, but they are also born totally capable of seeing the differences between each other and identifying with those who look like them. If we ignore that, we fail to teach the more important lesson on how to interpret and deal with those differences, ie what is outside tells you very little; what is inside tells you everything. It is human instinct to be drawn to those who look like us, and one has to accept that in order to truly act without bias.

Teaching kids that ALL differences are an important part of the fabric of the world is, in my mind, the best way to go. That means they accept different outward appearances, different nuerologies, different cultures, AND different ways of viewing the world. We work on building bridges, not breaking them, because we want to live in a world where others do that for us. If we don't, we can't expect anyone else to.

RightGalaxy, I am very sorry your son encountered a situation that hurt him and your family. But I am also disappointed that you chose to laugh back instead of taking what looks to me like an olive branch. Well, OK, you needed that laugh, so it's OK, but now you move on. You had an opportunity to teach that family something, and you chose not to. Was it your obligation to do that teaching? No. But it remains a lost opportunity.

Just think about it. I haven't walked a mile in your shoes, and I know that you have encountered things that I have not, and that it is much easier for me to talk about it all from my position than it is to enact change from yours. But, still, if you want to live in a world that is positive for your family, it will help if you are less quick to discard, assume or laugh.

You're welcome. Glad I could help.


Quite likely he realized she wasn't inferior. There are unprejudiced whites just as there are prejudiced whites. Did you possibly miss the part where my post was talking only about prejudiced whites, and not about all whites?


Prejudiced Japanese view the Chinese as inferior in some ways; unprejudiced Japanese do not. Prejudiced Chinese view the Japanese as inferior; unprejudiced Chinese do not. Probably the same is true of blacks and mexicans; some are prejudiced, some are not.

As for myself, I don't view any race as superior or inferior. I judge people as individuals.


The majority of white kids available for adoption in the U.S. are older or have some kind of disability. Some adoptive parents don't want to take that kind of thing on.

As for Madonna, I think she went all that way to make a political statement.


I don't think racism is exclusively a white phenomenon. However, the original post specified that the other parents were white, so only white racism was germane to the thread. Well, at least until the term "cracker" got introduced.

EXACTLY! I wasn't claiming otherwise. I was simply saying they meant NOTHING by the comment. And HECK, if blacks keep turning down invitations by whites, then OF COURSE they are going to stay apart. It is odd that some that do such things are the most vocal about it, and blame the other group.

Steve

Yeah, it IS odd. I heard the term HONKY on TV, A BLACK said it to a white, and I STILL remember where I heard about cracker. It was on a news program about how Michael Richards(AKA KRAMER on seinfeld) acted when he thought he heard the term. Where do you figure the OTHERS picked it up?

BTW the statement I spoke to, regarding racism in this thread, seemed to CLEARLY speak in general terms. It said "WHITES" and referred to the 50s and 60s. I was simply saying it was WRONG!

I have heard the n word a ******LOT****** recently. It is generally BLACKS saying it TO OTHER BLACKS! I have heard it from criminals, and comedians.

EXACTLY!! !! In "the patriot" there is a black character that seems like a nice guy, but has NOTHING to lose, and all to win. There is a white character that seems like he is OTHERWISE a nice guy, but seems racist. Towards the end, they are LITERALLY fighting SIDE BY SIDE! as they get closer to the point of no return, the white guy sstarts speaking to the black. He basically says "HEY, times up! YOU'RE FREE!! !! !! ! WHY are you still here?". The black guy basically said "I said I would fight, and I am fighting for my country.". So WHAT does the white guy say? He says "I am HONORED to fight by your side! *******HONORED******!". Hopefully any black seeing that would get new respect for that white guy JUST as thatt white guy got new respect for the black.

He saw the guy's character and basically said "HEY, your skin color means NOTHING, You're a great guy, and THAT is all that matters!"!

If you are interested in understanding race issues in America you could read "Makes Me Wanna Holler" by Nathan McCall, or "Race Matters" by Cornel West. There is also a very intersteing article in the most recent New Yorker magazine about "White Culture". "Black Like Me" is another classic.

I have spent enough time in the inner city to know that race is a very complicated issue, not all of which is related to skin color but more relevant to culture. Certain actions, words, cadences, eye movements, that are considred polite or non-consequential in some cultures are considered very very insulting in others.

My own personal view is that a**holes come in every color. Just because one person says or does something that it totally beyond my understanding doesn't mean their entire race is at fault, just them.

I think this is an opportunity to gently teach your son about some of the unfortunate realities of the world, and also an opportunity to help him learn not to perpetuate them himself, and thus work toward making the world (or even just his world) a better place.

Obviously, you can't shield your son from racial ugliness forever, nor can you control the attitudes that other parents pass on to their kids. So it's important to give him a realistic perspective on it, but at the same time not allowing it to hold him back. It's sad that he has had to experience this, but the opportunity is yours to help guide him in a direction away from fear and hatred, and toward acceptance and respect.

The best of luck to you.

there is a great "south park" episode about racism and i think it perfectly applies here. its about kids that didn't even see color until grown-ups (on both sides of the fence) involved with their own race issues.