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12 year old Aspie son with depression/ suicidal thoughts

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DW_a_mom
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09 Apr 2010, 11:29 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
A major caveat about therapy. If there's anything that aspies hate the most, it's Rogerian therapy (the one with "how did that make you feel?"), and that goes double for aspie kids. While adults can memorize answers and spew them out, kids don't have the smarts to do that yet. If the therapist is pushy (as in "no, 'I didn't know what to say' is not a feeling"), it will result in your son thinking his therapist is an idiot in the best case, and in a meltdown right in the office in the worst case, which can't possibly help your son's cause. While therapy might be of some benefit, do extensive research on the methodology used; aspies often respond well to Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, which is very logical in nature, and focuses on thoughts.


What you talk about here is something I NEVER thought about, but it makes SO MUCH SENSE. I am really glad you wrote this paragraph, for it is something ALL of us should be aware of when considering counseling for our kids.


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


EaglesSayMeow
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18 Apr 2010, 6:41 am

bugaboosmama wrote:
He is seeing a counselor at school but I'm not sure how often or if he is honest with her.


School counselors don't help. I'm not sure how much better out of school ones are though.

I went to an out of school one once a week when I was ten (though I have no clue why, that year wasn't too bad. They told me they wanted to help me "adjust to middle school" though my school is K-12, so there was nothing to adjust to :roll: ) and then I saw an in school one for half of sixth grade. My parents to this day don't know this. She was the worst. The out of school one let me just sit there and play with toys the whole time, the in school one tended to end with a lot of screaming and crying, nothing constructive whatsoever.

As a girl a year older than your son, who's had experience with a school counselor due to being bullied for two and a half years straight (none of the teachers noticed until one day when I got sick then broke down in the homeroom while getting my things-right in front of my homeroom teacher), along with various other social issues, I'd say that it isn't always effective. She would try to get us to discuss how to handle social interactions, but I knew the answers, she DIDN'T GET that my problem was practical application, coupled with a low self-esteem (I let the girls order me around for another year and a half, all the while thinking I was honored that they'd bother talking to me-some of the time).

She made me re-hash these interactions, which led to screaming and crying and nothing constructive whatsoever, just a deep fear of lunchtimes on Wednesdays.

I don't know if this was helpful to you, but I had to get it out of my system. Sorry for the rant.