Needing advice please

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I get that part but how is it that the same kid can have both? Like the baby will not eat but he seeks the lights?

Tracker I do understand what you are saying and would love to read the book!! PenguinMom I also see your point...my middle son who does not have many sensory problems loves to pace. He does it for hours everyday. He will be starting school this year and his pacing worries us because we are scared that he will pace instead of listening in class!! I have asked his teachers to limit his pacing time to 10-15 minutes because I feel like he should be able to pace as it calms him down but not all the time.

Tracker, Penguin Mom stated it exactly how I feel. At this point, I am not even sure if my son is stimming or just really getting into his special interest. He loves to draw cars and different things and he will sit and draw on his etch-a-sketch for hours. Many days I let him do this for a long time, because I know he enjoys it so much. But now he is talking to me in complete sentences, so I am not as worried about him getting into his "own world" for awhile. I know that he needs this to be able to keep himself more calm and regulated. Before he was speaking to me though, I just wanted to connect with my son, so I was afraid that if I left him alone too much, then he wouldn't want to connect with me. Now I am understanding more about autism, and I am seeing that it is ok to stim or get lost in your own world for awhile. I hope that makes sense-------

I think that the same kid can have both because they stimulate different senses. He is hyper sensitive to taste and hypo sensitive for the visual or proprioceptive or whatever he gets out of the light toy. I would hypothesize (and please take with a grain of salt as I am not an expert and have not physically seen your child) that he is using the sensory input from the light toy to compensate for sensory input not received elsewhere. Sort of how a blind person will bang on things to use their ears to compensate for their eyes. I am guessing that this is why the OT does not want him to play with the light toy, she is trying to teach him to seek gratifying sensory input through food.

This is where it becomes hard for parents. Do I let my child stim as a way to relax and be able to take in difficult sensory input? OR Do I want to limit the stims so that the child learns to seek out more apropriate sensory input? As far as I can tell the answers totally depend on the individual child. This is where I find Wrong Planet to be really helpful, you get a broad persepective on how many diffenent people use/abuse different stimulating behaviors.

Momof3-

Many children with autism have Sensory Integration Disorder. It can affect some or all of the different senses. For example, a child may be over reactive (hypersensitive) to sound, but under reactive (hyposensitive) to touch. So, they may have a meltdown when things get too loud, and for the touch they may seek out touching certain things.

My son is hyposensitive to sound for the most part he doesn't mind very loud noises. However, he can't stand the sound of a baby crying. He is also hyposensitive to touch. He has never complained about being touched. He actually seeks out touching things. Another kid could be hypersensitive to touch and not like anyone to touch them. They may also be hypersensitive to sound and cover their ears all of the time.

Each case is unique. Our OT gave us a book called "The Out of Sync Child" by Carol Stock Kranowitz. It addresses Sensory issues in detail. I would recommend it because it will help you get in touch with what your own childs issues are. That way, you can work on these specific things to make things easier or help your child learn to cope with these things.

As as side note, sometimes the sensitivities can vary. One day they may be hypersensitive to something and another day, they may be seeking it out. Makes things very interesting!! !

Hope this helps!

Most stims come without any potential negative long term side affects, so it doesn't matter if they seem more like an addiction. And I don't feel that is what they are, at least not with my son; they are a necessary relief value. When we tried to control the stims at home, we had meltdowns and behavior issues. When we started to just let it be, the difference was dramatic. It's like the stims are a release value for stress. Not a cover up like alcohol; a real release.

What we've taught our son is that there is a time and a place. He is asked to keep certain stims under control in public (usually re-directed to some degree), but is free to go at them at home.

Angelbear...I just bought the book last night hoping that it would help me understand. I am not sure if he does not like to be touched or not because if a stranger or family friends comes near him (even if he has seen the person many times) he flinches like he is scared of them and runs. I also noticed that when others pick him up he cries and wants to be put down. So I dont know if that is a sensory issue or if he is scared of strangers. He is especially fearful of other children.

If an approach is not working at all after 6 months, I would reconsider and tweak the treatment since you want to see some progress. Overall, if there are additional sensory concerns, those should be treated as well, and watching something spin for a prolonged period of time does sound like a sensory stimulatory activity. Can you address these concerns with his OT? What are his verbal and social skills like?

I think the best way to describe stimming to someone who does not understand but has had babies is like this: Remember when your kids were babies and they would cry, you would rock them and it made you both feel better. Have you ever smashed your finger and shook it? It sort of like that for us. It relieves pain, pressure and stress, its not an addiction its a way to deal with the fact that we dont have filters. If your kid is REALLY stimmy then that means they are having a bad day and they need to "shake" it out.....spin it out, focus on something that holds their attention until the bad feelings or stress leave.

It IS hard to understand but rest assured, as you continue to observe him, things will make more sense. Our son seeks touch sensations but generally only on HIS terms. Just like yours, he doesn't like it when people touch him, he needs to be allowed to choose to touch them (or not). My DH didn't understand this too well until one time when he came home after being away for work for a few days. All Dad wanted to do was give DS a big hug but DS ran away from Dad. I said to DH "Ask him if he will give you a hug instead of asking him if you can give him a hug." Worked like a charm. The light really went off for DH that day!

Being fearful of other children is not all that surprising - kids are very unpredictable in their actions. That's why some AS kids prefer to interact with adults as their actions are typically more predictable.

We are working with the CDSA in our county and I finally put my foot down about a month ago and told our caseworker that I wanted another OT session included in his therapies because I did not feel like he was progressing quick enough. They upped his speech to twice a week without me asking...but I had to go through so much about getting his OT upped. One problem is that we live in a very small town with little to no resources. Our OT that works with us now is only part time and is about to be on maternity leave. The replacement OT can not fit two sessions into her schedule. So we had to go somewhere else and have had a hard time finding someone who could fit him into their scheduling also. We finally found another OT who can see him once a week. So now he has two different OTs on two different days. The OT that we started with last week seems to be addressing his other sensory issues more indepth. She would make him touch the koosh ball (which made him scream) and then she put him on an exercise ball (which made him scream even more) and she worked on some feeding. She saw him for about an hour and fifteen minutes and an hour of that time he screamed!! He was so upset that he did not want to eat at all. As a mother that is the hardest thing to watch and know that I can't "rescue" him although he screamed and kept reaching for me. The CDSA has suggested that we put him in the Easter Seals daycare here so that all of his therapies would be provided in house but I am not comfortable with that. I want to be kept in the loop as far as his therapy sessions go.


Edited to add: His verbal skills are getting better. He understands everything we tell him but he says very few words. He has started to use sign language and his speech therapist is trying to get him to say two words together. Right now if he wants juice he signs "want" and says juice. He does not say any two words together including bye bye. He just say Bye. His social skills are pretty bad. He does not feel comfortable around anyone except me, his father, two brothers, and his grandmother. My best friend has a little girl about a year older than him and she loves him but he does not like her and most of the time he is hitting her.

That is funny that you had already bought the book. I think once you read through this and start to observe your son, then you can start to figure out why some things are the way they are. As far as him screaming with the OT, I know it is tough, but this is what I meant about the "desensitizing" If it is done in small doses at a time, then he will gradually start to get used to it. For instance, my son had really bad vestibular issues. This affected his balance. He was a very late walker (21 mos) Anyway, the OTs had me swinging him and spinning him just to work on his vestibular system. It seemed so strange to me at the time, but he eventually walked. He still gets a little nervous stepping up and down curbs, but over time he is getting more comfortable with it. He is now also running pretty fast and jumping and spinning now. It is so great to see him be able to do this stuff!


Once you learn more from the OT, (or from your own reading and observations,) then you can do a lot of the work with him yourself. You can just work it into your daily routine with him.

My son is very much like yours in that he is afraid of other children. I have seen his face just get really tense and he almost flinches up when kids start running toward him or playing rough. With this, I just keep trying to work with him getting around other kids in small doses. I don't force anything on him, but I do give him the opportunity to be around other kids. I think it is most definitely the fear of the uncertain and what these kids are going to do. Another thing is that my son really loves adults. He loves the attention that they give him. I have noticed that a lot of little kids (even Neurotypical kids) are not very social. They are sort of on their own agenda. So it is really tough. My son cannot stand it when kids start to fight. He just gets very upset and starts hitting me!! !! So I just have to be really aware of what is going on around him.. I can't just tell him to run along and play, it is not going to happen! He really still needs me to be around to give him reassurance. I think a lot of his social issues stem from his vestibular issues and him not feeling comfortable in his own body. I am hoping in time that he will feel more secure and maybe this can improve some.

Hopefully, you can get some good insight from this book......Good luck!

I think if you lay off the OT for a while and leave food out for him to pick that might help with his eating. As far as the light globe thingy (I bought that for my son and he loved it) if you play with him with it, you can introduce other things into the play activity and he will eventually forget about it. You need to use what stimulates him, to simulate him with other things. I’m no expert but that is how I work with my son.

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It does not sound right that he is screaming through the OT. It also does not sound right that OT made him too upset too eat, isn't the OT supposed to be helping him eat?

I agree that an hour of screaming may be a bit much, but there is going to be some avoidance and discomfort that will be experienced if the child is going to work through some of his sensory issues. Maybe the eating therapy should be done at a completely different time than the sensory therapies. Just a thought!