People who stare at our kids...should I tell them off? sigh.

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starkravingmadmommy
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21 Jul 2010, 8:12 am

Right now I don't respond to staring because I know for sure it bothers me but not my son. (He's only four.) I like the idea of waving back at people though; I might teach him to do that later if it starts to bother him. If it was very upsetting to me, I'll vent it later with friends, or a forum like this one. I think it's SO important to vent so that you don't eventually blow your stack at someone unnecessarily. What I do sometimes respond to are the unwanted "helpful" comments we get sometimes. In fact I wrote a whole rant about it which is on my blog today.



psychohist
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21 Jul 2010, 5:24 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
I find myself staring - and smiling - at all sorts of unusual kids because I find them adorable. I really hope their parents aren't upset by it.

Me too. And when other people stare at my daughter, I assume it's because she's so adorable too.

If I'm wrong, please don't enlighten me.



Kiley
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21 Jul 2010, 5:52 pm

They might have just been watching him because he's a cute kid, and they didn't mean to stare. People watching is a fairly popular thing to do, but usually it's done discreetly.



conundrum
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21 Jul 2010, 7:20 pm

starkravingmadmommy wrote:
Right now I don't respond to staring because I know for sure it bothers me but not my son. (He's only four.) I like the idea of waving back at people though; I might teach him to do that later if it starts to bother him. If it was very upsetting to me, I'll vent it later with friends, or a forum like this one. I think it's SO important to vent so that you don't eventually blow your stack at someone unnecessarily. What I do sometimes respond to are the unwanted "helpful" comments we get sometimes. In fact I wrote a whole rant about it which is on my blog today.


Read it--and I totally agree! I'm not a parent, but I despise insensitive jerks who think they know "better."

You sound like a great mom. Mine had to fight MANY battles on my behalf too. I'm glad your kids have you in their corner. :)


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LabPet
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30 Jul 2010, 2:27 am

I just spotted this thread. Although it may be best to just ignore, in certain situations that approach may not work. I guess important to realize if one is staring they are not necessarily being intentionally rude - maybe just curious?

But, in any case, here is a link that provides Autism Cards: http://autismlinkstore.com/childwithautismcards.aspx

Although these cards may not be applicable for all, they could be helpful. I believe there are different varieties too. You know, you could easily make your own professional looking cards on your home PC and print a stack to carry with you should the need arise.

Here's a picture of one card - - sized like a business card:

Image


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mom2allboys216
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30 Jul 2010, 12:50 pm

Typically, I ignore those people. My husband on the other hand has no qualms about addressing their impolite stares.


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spongy
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30 Jul 2010, 2:39 pm

starkravingmadmommy wrote:
I like the idea of waving back at people though


I also tend to do this.

Until a year ago I usually stared back at then but somehow thats considered creepy(of course everyone can stare at you but you have no right to stare at people who doesn´t know this).

Lately I have been using the waving scheme and so far it has been working perfectly, a few months ago I even started a conversation with someone who was staring at me because they found the waving thing cute so I am approaching the idea of using it when I would like to talk to a stranger(most likely a woman since I don´t have much problems when introducing myself to guys).



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20 Aug 2010, 12:34 am

When I was little people would stare because I stood there quietly holding to the side of the shopping cart while my mom shopped and I kept my head looking down to avoid the stares. I did find a lot of money doing that LoL. All of the other kids ran around like little savages, I did not ask her for anything or messed with the items on the shelves or strayed away from the cart. Women would come up to tell my mom they wished their kids behaved as well as me. Little did they know I was petrified of all the strange people, the lights felt like they were knocking my eyeballs out of their sockets, and I was afraid of getting lost so there was no chance of me running off to play. Perhaps my having Aspergers made my mom's life easier while shopping. :wink: :D


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RightGalaxy
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21 Aug 2010, 10:14 am

Don't say anything. They could've been special ed teachers. Some people stare because your son may be similar to their child. A lot of people honestly mean no harm at all. Speak up only if you hear something rude said or if they slighted your child in some way.
P.S. I really embarrased myself once by snapping,"Don't wear your eyeballs out by staring, you (bleepity bleep)!" My son's reply was, "Mom, why'd you snap at my new OT teacher like that?!" I could've died!! !! :oops:



RykerSJ
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01 Nov 2010, 10:24 pm

I at one time would glare back. It hurt to see people stare at my kid. Now ..I could care less and if someones staring I wouldn't know it because I'm not paying attention to anyone in any type of public setting when I'm with him..he's my teen,he belongs and if they stare...hope they're burning their eyes out.



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01 Nov 2010, 10:36 pm

I needed that card today in the post office when my daughter had her hands down her pants (which she doesn't do regularly-btw and I was quite shocked when I turned around from the clerk and saw her arms into her pants all the way up to her elbows :lol: ) dancing all around and intermittently begging me to pick her up and a lady there slapped me with her eyes as if to say "get CONTROL of YOUR child!" I wanted to say, "hey she's happy-she could be screaming right now! GET OVER IT."