Stays in Room All Day

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When I was your son's age, I stayed in my room all day too. I still live with my parents while I get my GED and aparently I still stay in my room too much because my parents say it feels like a visit whenever I come out to eat or take care of my lizard. I once stayed in my room for over a year and only came out to use the bathroom. I was usually working on one of the computer games I was making, painting a picture or writing a story. When my parents truely felt I needed to get out, they offered to take me some place I would enjoy such as the zoo or aquarium....before I found zoos depressing because I couldn't handle the animals and I could just stay at home and watch them on TV.

Thank God you weren't my father. Nothing destabilized me more quickly and violently than someone taking my comfort zone or safe place away from me. It's also a wonderful way to alienate your child.

I have to agree. A gentler, more supportive and respectful approach would likely be far more beneficial.

Is there no way you could get a specialist to come and visit him at home? A domiciliary is an option in the UK... I take it that you are in America? Is there any reason why a specialist wouldn't come to see him?

It seems that something has changed, suddenly and quite dramatically. It does need to be looked into. And by the way, it sounds to me like you're doing all you can. Don't beat yourselves up, being a parent is really tough.

Sounds like it could be depression, to me. I developed a good "song and dance" routine, i.e. a pretend act at an early age, in order to "cope".
Although I started planning suicide at 10, I kept the "act" going until I was 16, when it fell apart.

I wasn't able to isolate - which I wanted to - so became suicidal..

ADD/ADHD and Aspergers had barely been "invented" in my day. (I'm 65). All I knew was that I didn't "belong", had high anxiety levels about EVERYTHING, and wanted to die, most of the time. Didn't talk about it to anyone, as when I'd tried, I got the usual responses of people who hadn't experienced depression themselves. I.e. - dismissive.

Help came via having a mentor - one to one - non-family, older family friend who taught me sailing, told me great humorous stories, and helped me build some self-reliance and self-worth. Sailing, being largely solitary, or semi-solitary, allowed me to semi-isolate, but to take some responsibility, co-operate with others, whilst not having having to compete with others.

Getting someone along to your home who is familiar with depression, for a meal and a chat, might point a way forward.

Clearly your son is going through a tough time, but he's fortunate to have parents who care enough to be concerned, ask for help, and be open to suggestions. Hope there's a good outcome for you all

This can be anything from drugs, to depression, to schizophrenia.

You really need to get him to some type of psychiatrist or counselor for an evaluation, or at least see if he'll open up to you or your husband or perhaps a family friend.

You might have to turn off the internet for a day....be sure to turn it back on as that's probably the only thing keeping him sane at the moment and be sure he knows this is not a punishment if you do this.