This is my first time posting as well. I really related to being the wall for the Stress Dodgeball game! The part you mentioned about when they are under stress they seek you out - like an emotional punching bag! I think that's not unusual for him to take it out on the caretaker he's around the most and additionally, being the female caretaker. Your teen knows you'll always be there.
What I find difficult is in relation to your comment about how the game has changed...avoiding meltdowns specifically. It has changed, of course stickers and incentives related to their favorite things dont really work anymore. Mine calls them 'bribes'. So...time to change it up! By this point they (and we) should be learning some ways to work through meltdowns, but that said they will still happen. I'm trying to find a way not to allow him to use the 'fear of meltdown' as a way to get what he wants - which is typically to get out of doing something or to 'work you'. He has unmovable perseverance and endurance when it comes to this task. It's never worth a fight - that wont get us anywhere, but neither does reasoning or incentive sometimes.
The girl at the birthday dinner - yeah, that's him. At any given moment and at any given crossroad.
The experiences you all share on here do help me to feel like I'm not on an island. I'm hoping I'll figure more teen things out as I go and perhaps I can add to someone else's angst. And of course, ultimately, help my teen have the best future he can.
Thanks for listening!
09 Sep 2010, 10:36 pm
