What exactly does social reciprocity mean?

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Seriously, 2Berry, I think we have the same son!! LOL! My son is also 5, and was diagnosed as PDD-NOS/possible Asperger's at 2.5 yrs. old. He too had great eye contact, was very cuddly, smiled, babbled and had words on time.
The thing that had me concerned was his delays in physical milestones. He did not sit up unassisted until 10 mos., belly crawled at 11 mos, crawled at 14 mos, and didn't walk until 21 mos. Of course I was freaking out, but autism was not the first thing that crossed my mind.

We started taking him to physical therapy at 1yr of age to get help for the physical delays. Shortly after that he did begin to flap his hands a little, but everyone thought it was because of his low muscle tone. When I would research hypotonia (low muscle tone) autism always came up, and I just didn't think it was possible because he seemed so social with us. Well during the course of therapy, a friend of mine who was an OT suggested I get him evaluated, so I did. At eighteen months, they pointed out to me that he was not pointing, he was not showing me things, he was not using his words to communicate with us, he started doing echolalia.

I started to get more concerned, but kept pushing autism out of my mind. I thought as soon as he walks, he will be fine. We started with OT, and speech therapy at 18 mos. He started using words to tell us what he wanted like "more juice" and he would label items in the house. So I still just thought , every thing is going to be ok. I would take him to play groups and things and he NEVER joined in with the children's play. He would just walk around the room, and never even played with toys on his own. Then he started memorizing all of his little story books and lines from "Sesame Street" He was singing the ABC song before he was 2, but if I would say "Do you want to go outside?" he would say "Do you want to go outside?" He would just say random words or phrases that had nothing to do with what was going on. I really knew in my heart then that it was autism, so I took him to a developmental pediatrician at 2.5 and got the PDD-NOS diagnosis.

Shortly after the diagnosis, he became obsessed with makes and models of cars. He still did not play with toys, and STILL at 5 yrs old does not play with other kids. BUT, when he is in a room full of adults, it is pretty hard to really tell that anything is that wrong. He does tend to get caught up on saying some things over and over, but overall his speech has improved so much. It is really when you see him in a group of kids that you realize that he has a lack of social reciprocity with his peers.

I can completely understand why you are questioning this. I would go back and forth with myself. It was very difficult for me because he was my first and only child, so I had nothing to compare to. I drove myself crazy reading all of the baby books that assured me that all children develop at a different rate so not to worry!
I knew he was on the spectrum, but it took a long time to sink in because of the things that he did that did not seem to fit. He also never really had severe tantrums, and he never seemed to care about his routine broken, and he has ALWAYS been a good eater. Now I will say, he was a TERRIBLE sleeper up until about 3 yrs old, and I kept wondering why on that too. I would meet moms whose babies were sleeping thru the night at 2 mos old, and wonder what is WRONG with my son.

I started my son in the special needs pre-k program at 3, and he has come so far. It sounds like your little guy is coming along fine too. I know it is hard, but I just keep trying to be thankful for how well my son is doing. It is very difficult for me that he has NO friends or siblings, but I just adore him and enjoy being with him. I just hope that one day, he will want to make a friend.

I think you are on the right track, and I wish you the best. So glad that you have found WP!

I wish I could remember more details of my son's evaluation, because the doc. explained things quite thoroughly to us about the ways in which he met the criteria and some of them were not at all obvious. I think it's a very careless, uneducated evaluator who will look at a kid and say "no eye contact - autism" or "eye contact - not autism", as we sometimes hear parents talking about. There are many things to look at.

My son is really having difficulties staying on task at school. He likes to talk/make noises at inappropriate times, flaps his hands, and shakes his head back and forth. He has always had trouble looking at things that I was trying to show him. He has been in the special needs program since he was 3, and they have been working with him on this, but it just doesn't seem to get under control. All of the teachers just love him, and they say he is having a good day most of the time. He always seems to want to go to school, he doesn't fight it. He seems happy to be there, and he is learning. He just has difficulty staying on task and sitting still. They actually assessed him for ADHD last year and say that he has it.

Since our younger boys are so much alike, does Henry show any ADHD traits? When did you start to put your older son on meds? My husband is against the idea of meds, and I am not so sure about them either. I am waiting it until he is at least 7. How has your older son done in public school? I am just real concerned about my son's education.

Thanks for sharing!