Do your children have "smart mouths"?

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RightGalaxy
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10 Nov 2010, 9:51 am

All kids do this because they are just like you but only little. Aspie's might do it more because they tend to be very logical. NT's are infamous for going behind your back. Aspie's are right up front. All kids make me mad because they are so mouthy. I was too. It's an exercise in who's in control and who has the power over the pack. "Why the hell do I have to peel my husband's egg?" I say that often but ONLY in my head because he makes more money.
He's top dog. He's alpha. The pups and the rest of the pack resent it but eventually learn to take it or take over...if they dare. The pecking order will eventually get established until they move out.



twinplets
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10 Nov 2010, 10:17 am

Oh yes, I have one mouthy Aspie. Some of it is true attitude and some of it pragmatics. We seem to go through phases of him being easygoing and him pushing back on everything. He has been pushing back the last month. He can go on and on about how everyone is doing stuff incorrectly, including the men we drive by that are building new ramps on a nearby highway. Frankly, it can test the patience of Job. He will argue over his chores, when he has always had them and everyone in the family has them. He will argue over putting his shoes away. My other kids don't always do this stuff either and will procrastinate doing it, but when he is having an off phase, he will run his mouth until I am so sick of hearing him that I finally tell him I need a break and he has to go to his room and read for awhile. Sometimes, I think my head will explode if I have to battle him over one more thing. I am honestly crazy about this kid, but I also have felt like I have a very immature teenager on my hands since he was three years old. (He is 9 year old now.) Sometimes I never want him to grow up and sometimes I hope and pray he is a successful adult so that he doesn't live with me for his whole life.

In my son, I see that his attitiude is worst when we are running a busy schedule. The summers, he always does better. We even had a great first month and a half of school. I am convinced it is because he wasn't going much in the evenings. We had life arranged where we ran our other kids to activities and he was able to stay home with one of us, instead of going and waiting. The only night he was busy was Wed. nights when he goes to gymnastics and Cub Scouts, which has has chosen and loves. Then a month ago, we started doing Vision Therapy to see if we could improve his depth perception and tracking (He has stambismus and amblyopia). This is something we know we have to give a try, but it also meant running two nights a week to the vision therapist's office and adding in 20 minutes of therapy at home each night. I am convinced this is what has pushed him into being so difficult at school and home at this time. However, there is no way we can not try to improve his vision, so it looks like this is something we have to live with for the next few months.

I am also so thankful I filter his books and TV as he will pick up things and use them later. It is actually exhausting feeling like I must be a great example all the time as he most often will take something that I or my DH says and use it at school. For example, I have five kids. They drive me up the wall some days. I have walked around the house on a bad day muttering how they are driving me crazy. My other 4 kids (3 of which are younger than him) know that you can say things in the safety of home that you would filter other places. Not him, he will go and mutter it to the teacher at school if he is having a bad day. Sometimes it is funny too. My husband likes to do voices sometimes. He acted silly one time, doing a French accent. One day the vice principal came in and was talking in a British accent to the teacher, so my son walks up and does his imitation of my husband talking in French. The teacher thought that was funny.

My son has bowel problems and his GI has put him on some meds to keep his bowels soft. One day, he passed gas at home, but ended up having an accident in his pants. My husband, being cute, gave my son the advice "Never trust a fart.", telling him to always go to the bathroom just in case. Later that week, he told the teacher he needed to fart and his Dad told him to "Never trust a fart", so he needed to leave the room to go to the bathroom. These are only the stories the teacher has recalled and told me about. I cringe to think of the other things he has probably taken back to school. I keep telling my husband thank goodness we don't curse.



Bombaloo
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10 Nov 2010, 12:10 pm

momsparky wrote:
we have instituted fines - a quarter for calling me an idiot, for instance - and are working on keeping our cool and watching our own bossy tone -

momsparky - I am stealing this idea! I love it. Being called an idiot by DS really irks me. We NEVER use that kind of language with eachother and we have tried to talk about it with him on many occasions. He still pulls it out pretty often when he is mad with me or DH. As you say, I also concentrate on keeping my tone polite and respectful hoping both my boys will emulate.



MomtoS
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10 Nov 2010, 3:25 pm

Wow, thank you all so much. These are some excellent perspectives to consider. I am really trying to absorb it all as so many are pertinent. It seems like so much. Some of the stories in this thread and other places have me laughing out loud because they are soooooooooooo much my son especially twinplets post.

I also think that my son definitely gets the mouthiness from his older sisters who got it from those darned female neighbors in our old neighborhood. I noticed the difference right away. We don't watch TV in our home thank goodness. I think the girls are doing a little better since being away from them, but there is still some lingering affects. He hasn't picked up the difference in tone in how you speak to peers and how you speak to adults. My middle daughter has had a bit of a struggle with this, but my older one is okay.

I'm going to print out this thread and send a link to my husband.