Puberty and Girls

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I still hate my boobies and my periods and if I could get my bits removed down there, I would. I would have rather have been born a man, than a woman.

Just don't expect her to live up to the old stereotypes of what a female should be. I wouldn't want people expecting that of me, becuase that really is too much of people to expect from me.

OK, I STILL don't understand people. I mean the way some female parts are depicted CAN look scary, but they certainly aren't, OBVIOUSLY. And HECK, a boy might not like the idea of periods, etc... but HE doesn't have to be subjected to it. And in a couple years, your son could become VERY aware that things have changed.

HECK, most of the things you learn about, ESPECIALLY in females, and things you will likely NEVER see.

OK, I STILL don't understand people. I mean the way some female parts are depicted CAN look scary, but they certainly aren't, OBVIOUSLY. And HECK, a boy might not like the idea of periods, etc... but HE doesn't have to be subjected to it. And in a couple years, your son could become VERY aware that things have changed..

HECK, most of the things you learn about, ESPECIALLY in females, are things you will likely NEVER see.

I was 11 years old and still in 5th grade when i got my first period. I was a little worried and confused. But i looked at the "mystery spot" closer, I realized I was bleeding. I told my teacher at the time (she was on the computer looking at her email) and when i tried to tell her what happened she took the words out of my mouth as if she knew. she called the office and had me go to the school nurse. My mom had to come to the school and get me and bring me home. Even she was happy, she could have told the whole neighborhood (she almost did since the garage door was almost always left open) but when my dad caught the news he was thinking "Okay why is Lisa telling me this? I don't want to know." (Yet I had to sit through his 'birds and the bees' talk in the 6th grade. Which I couldn't wait for it to be over. I TELL U!! DADS SHOULDN'T TELL THEIR DAUGHTERS WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THEIR BODIES WHEN THEY ALREADY KNOW!! !)
As far as what u mentioned is concerned here's what I had to go through:
* Bras: My first bra was a training bra, if you can find one of these (they usually have them at walmart) and have your daughter go with you to at least look at them to see if she likes one enough to try it on, you'll be set. If not, try an undershirt instead, my sister wore this until I discovered she hit puberty and since your daughter refuses to wear bras, this might do the trick.
*Boys: I didn't have my first boyfriend until the 6th grade (of course at the time not much was explained to me about sex b/c my mom's family- Mom and Dad separarated at the time- felt I was too young to know) It wasn't until I was living with Dad (and without a boyfriend) that I found out about sex. I would continue to learn about this subject in the eighth grade when a abstinence education group (I was living in Arkansas at the time) came to my school and made it clear to us that it's better to wait until after marriage. I hold these same values today even though I am still single and waiting for the right guy to come along.
*Motherhood: I mourn over this subject often because at the age of 19 I was forced into getting sterilized. I do not know if I can or cannot have children of my own. But this was no desicion of mine but a desicion made by family that I made clear did not want to happen. No one listened to me. And now, I am depressed because of a decision that forced me to live not knowing the status of my fertility all because there was no test given.

Did that happen in the US? You could conceivably have a LOT of money coming to you if it did. If YOU didn't agree, the doctor is guilty of a LOT! Not quite the same as being restored, but....

...

Four, she might be afraid of what it means to be a woman. Possibly related two number two, but she may feel as if becoming a woman means she has to say goodbye to her freedom, start dressing in a certain way, etc... and she may be feeling pressure that says that one day she'll have to have sex, get married, and have kids. This may be the last thing she wants. She may just want to remain young and carefree and is upset that her body won't allow her to do that. [/quote]

I'm not so sure about this. Becoming an adult, male or female, means massively increased freedom. Enormous numbers of arbitrary rules and restrictions just vanish into thin air. And if for some reason you live in an area where adult women feel pressured to get married and have children,. you are allowed to leave. And never come back!

Maybe some kids don't really get that and need to be told. Maybe some kids are getting so much freedom as children that there's no point to growing up. I don't know. But it might be a good idea to go over all the ways that being an adult truly kicks ass.

This is basically what is was for me: change! I hated change. I hated that I was changing, and that everyone around me was changing. I would say that you are doing as best you can right now. In a couple years, the change will be gone, and everything will be normalized, and hopefully she will deal better. There are probably other issues as well, but I still think they will likely mellow as she grows a little older.

I disagree that you have reason to suspect a gender identity disorder, OP.
There's a difference in not feeling female and not feeling feminine, as dictated by ______________ (fill in the blank: bras, shaving, makeup, wearing girlie stuff, wanting children and doting on babies, etc).
Our society doesn't have many constructs of what it MEANS to be female, outside looking pretty and motherhood.
The reaction to the periods is as far as I know common even among NT girls- it's quite scary, knowing you're going to bleed for nearly a week every month for forty or fifty years, although I agree tactile issues with all this could very well be exacerbating things.

Personally I find pads of any kind intolerable (I don't even wear underwear due to tactile issues) but if I put a tampon in I can't even feel it until it needs changing. I had to spend two years using pads because my Mom said I was too young for tampons. I wish she'd let me try them right when I first started flowing. The first time I used a tampon I decided never to use a pad ever again.

I also hated my breasts at first because they hurt when I did certain things (like sliding on my belly to climb out of the pool) but now I'm used to them and kind of like them. But I can't tolerate wearing a bra, except a sports bra when I absolutely have to (my karate instructor told me I could hurt myself if I practiced karate bra-less).