bittersweetaffinity wrote:
In this case I don't think it's necessarily because she doesn't respect me, or wants to walk all over me, because she seems too, but she just can't accept why we all think this is bad and why to have such a stupid rule in the first place. Through my reading on WP I have found some threads regarding ASDers having difficulty understanding social hierarchy therefore not understanding parents as the authority. When I try to peacefully explain the reasons to her why we don't allow this (them to be completely alone in his home) or anything else for that matter her argument is always the same "you haven't given me a reason" even if I just listed off a dozen reasons. She just can't see how any of these reasons matter at all because for the most part they are just in the way of what she wants to do.
Much of this is just typical teenage behavior. Children with AS don't understand social hierarchy in the sense that among their "peers" they don't understand what makes one person a leader, or popular...why should people like/listen to that person over another person, probably things that most NT's don't even think about. They do understand authority in terms of parents, teachers, police and bosses, however understanding that a person is in a position of authority does not mean that authority can or will be respected. The only difference between children with AS and NT children in this respect is, an NT child who disregards authority almost always does it because they disrespect the authority, while a child with AS may disregard authority because they simply can't do what the authorative figure is insisting they do.
Among the things a child with AS can and should do though is, treat others how they would like to be treated. I say this instead of "treat others well" because this is going to vary significantly from person to person. Practice basic manners (even if they don't understand them). My parents had two requirements of me, say "please" when asking someone for something, and say "thankyou" when someone does something kind for me.
She will probably grow out of some of her stubbornness.
01 Mar 2011, 4:08 pm
