Diagnosis

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ahh his mom that would explain why you dont look alaike..as for the alcoholism ocd and others yeah it make sus tougher......cause it hasnt kille dus , yet.

This is roughly what was in the report: "looks like Mild Aspergers. Could go to mainstream school. Probably even get married one day. But will always be a bit weird."

My paed thinks that's enough. Call me Alexis Carrington but I wouldn't call that "cutting edge." Is this really as good as it gets in England?

Call me neurotic but I'd really like to know about levels of functioning etc. I would have thought it was standard to do tests etc (thanks Ster). How else can progress be compared year by year? Would a bit of guidance from someone qualified and experienced about how far to push in certain areas and where to leave well alone be so bad? As a mum, I feel I know my son better than anyone else but I have 2 handicaps. 1. My guilt that I brought my son into the world with a condition that makes things harder for him sometimes means that I am likely to be too soft on him and that won't help him. 2. My love for him is so strong that I worry that my assessment of him is done with rose tinted spectacles.

I really, really, really have been pro-active (I was appealing against the Education Department on the day I went to hospital to have my 3rd son. I read all "the books" at 3am on adrenalin on a working day and I have the eyebags to prove it (I work from home and always ended up working at night when my son was asleep). But I want a proper assessment and there you are so bring it on!

keep fighting for it~ you're the only mum he's got, and he needs a good one like you !

dont fight, it will wear you out and the energy is beeter placed on books and gettign to know your child,
it is a relatively newish thing and a lot of ol=der paeds and psychs are unaware of it
i sense your anxiety, but you need to calm down, an observation, def not a critisicm.
read books you dont need a leevel of aspiness, you will b dissapointed to get a "proper" assesmtn and told this, only you will know and guage your childs debility and progress.
be happy with this.

Nomorereality - sorry if I sounded unsupportive, obviously I wish you and your child all the best in the way of support, etc. It's just that I myself am a little angry still - I was naiive enough to believe that 'professionals' would help and advise, and be interested in my son and his 'problems' (though it's often they who in fact have the problems IMO ). I recently discovered this is not the case!. I have been asking for guidance/help since my son was a toddler and he has just been diagnosed aged 9. Everything he has I have fought for, every day there is a new battle to win - it's exhausting!. Seriously, though, yes, I think your diagnosis is about as good as it gets - for who can predict the future, who can see into the mind of another person?? .

I think it's a real pity that you went 'private' for the diagnosis of your child because doctors are doctors and they don't like to go over old ground and interfere with another's diagnosis, and it muddies the water when it's involving the NHS and the private doctors - nevertheless it would seem like your child is entitled to be diagnosed again. Be warned, though, these 'tests' you want - I doubt you'll get them!! !! . There simply is not the time or resources for every child to be put under the microscope, and if he goes to school he should be assessed regularly anyway as all children are, in their various stages of ability and development. You can always 'test' him yourself and write reports to hand to the people involved with his case - I do that and am usually thanked for it by the psychologists, teachers, etc.

Basically the standard of mental health care in the UK (I have no idea about other places) is very basic, and you are left to work out most of the puzzle for yourself. All I can say to you is that my son was a nightmare til he turned 7 and now he's becoming more and more of a joy each day, I have found it does get easier! . I think the main worry is whether he'll ever be fully independant - I'm sure you worry about that, too - but try not to feel guilty, there are many pluses to having Aspergers, too! (like depth, compassion, honesty, simplicity, intellectual ability, reliabilty, etc etc).

I know.....thanks everybody.

It just seems like such a shame. We could all go so much further. Achieve so much. Make it so much easier for the next generation.

Where I live there are great big fancy buildings full of well-paid people who've never lived with ASDs churning out leaflets that aren't worth the paper they are written on. Specially dedicated "treatment centres" where, it seems, we can't get any treatment, although I feel that we need it.

I just went upstairs and unscrewed an old bed and put it in the garden to be taken away to make room for a new one for my second son. It was my big brother's. He died 20 years ago by his own hand with no warning. (I don't feel too sad about that because he had a terrific life but always did pretty much what he wanted whenever he wanted to) When he was here I was always trying to understand him. Looking back, I see a few similarities between him and my son, who also shares the same name. I want to understand my son and feel like I have done enough.

We probably will end up closing ranks and doing what we feel is right for ourselves but not before I've made a few stuffed shirts justify their existence!

^ I hear what you're saying, and with each generation now it *should* get a little easier.
However, I believe that 99% of humans have some kind of 'disorder', diagnosed or otherwise, and I really do think that we shouldn't obsess *too* much! . We are doing our best as parents by trying to understand our children and set up an empathic environment for them, maybe that's all they actually need.

Sounds as though you might be associating your son's problems directly with those of your brother...............we have Depression in both sides of the family, it's a worry, I know - but just stay posititve! .