Does your child 'act autistic' more when angry/frustrated?
01 Apr 2011, 11:05 am
I think the original poster is talking about two things: there's meltdown (would be worth searching, there's other threads on this) and there's general higher arousal (which is often but not always pre-meltdown). The hitting and shouting would be full-scale meltdown. The increased stimming or increased off-topic conversation would be pre-meltdown or raised arousal.
In my case, when I'm in “pre-meltdown” (and still have self-control), I can often catch it because I'm irritable, I have delayed reactions, I stim more, I'm more likely to catch myself changing topic mid-conversation, I talk above/below normal volume, and I'm more sensitive to light and noise. So it would seem to an observer that I was more obviously autistic than usual. The signs will probably vary with someone's sensory sensitivities, e.g. someone who's already noise-defensive will become even more noise-defensive, whereas someone who isn't won't. If your child is showing these signs, it is actually good news for you – it means you have a way to catch meltdowns before they happen. Watch for the prior signs and get him out of the situation before it happens. Eventually he'll be able to catch them himself, the same way.
The food thing is the kind of thing you need to leave VERY well alone... It IS quite possible that his eating less than usual leaves him hungry, and/or that he feels the need to eat again (maybe for taste or tactile stimulation, or just for routine) at a fixed dinner-time, even if this wouldn't be possible for an NT person in the same situation. Being hungry is one of those overwhelming sensory impacts which can act as trigger stressors if they aren't satisfied – hence the meltdown. At least you can get him to eat out, and he isn't stuck to one kind of food!
And yeh, third hand-up here on the bullet-lists, I do that all the time - and still get irritated with people who give me long "and" lists... and I'm pretty sure trained NT's use it too, it's called "chunking the elephant" in psychology/time-management.
01 Apr 2011, 3:57 pm
In my case, when I'm in “pre-meltdown” (and still have self-control), I can often catch it because I'm irritable, I have delayed reactions, I stim more, I'm more likely to catch myself changing topic mid-conversation, I talk above/below normal volume, and I'm more sensitive to light and noise. So it would seem to an observer that I was more obviously autistic than usual. The signs will probably vary with someone's sensory sensitivities, e.g. someone who's already noise-defensive will become even more noise-defensive, whereas someone who isn't won't. If your child is showing these signs, it is actually good news for you – it means you have a way to catch meltdowns before they happen. Watch for the prior signs and get him out of the situation before it happens. Eventually he'll be able to catch them himself, the same way.
The food thing is the kind of thing you need to leave VERY well alone... It IS quite possible that his eating less than usual leaves him hungry, and/or that he feels the need to eat again (maybe for taste or tactile stimulation, or just for routine) at a fixed dinner-time, even if this wouldn't be possible for an NT person in the same situation. Being hungry is one of those overwhelming sensory impacts which can act as trigger stressors if they aren't satisfied – hence the meltdown. At least you can get him to eat out, and he isn't stuck to one kind of food!
And yeh, third hand-up here on the bullet-lists, I do that all the time - and still get irritated with people who give me long "and" lists... and I'm pretty sure trained NT's use it too, it's called "chunking the elephant" in psychology/time-management.
Thank you so much for your explanation of the meltdown process. I've actually read quite a few posts about them, but yours just seems so much more relevant specifically to MY son. He goes through those exact same stages that you do. However, I never looked at it as a step by step process. It's kind of like we would just tell ds to stop talking like that or doing it and then suddenly we are undergoing damage control after the fact (pulling fists and feet away from someone else's body).
Also, as of now, I didn't really think he had sensitivity (ETA: meant to say sensory) issues, but I know he does get a bit antsy when dh and I are engaged in a lively (sometimes loud) discussion in the dining room. I think the loud talking sometimes puts him in 'pre-meltdown', however, it doesn't usually progress unless his favorite trigger is hit. Read about his favorite trigger here:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt147140.html
As for the food situation, perhaps there was some misunderstanding? I said that he had just eaten a whole burger and fries (didn't share) and it was impossible that he was hungry. He was actually sleepy, but kept ranting about how hungry he was.
Last edited by MomtoS on 01 Apr 2011, 7:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
01 Apr 2011, 5:43 pm
Yeh I'm probably misunderstanding a bit with the food thing, I assumed the fast-food dinner was smaller than his usual dinner would be, and off-routine. However, it's quite possible for autistic people to need food at times and in patterns that others don't, even if we "should" be full. In my case I need food before I go to sleep, or my stomach will be unsettled when I'm trying to sleep (which makes it hard to get to sleep and is frustrating) - I have no idea why, except I'm pretty sure it's autism-related because I've come across so many similar cases. It's also possible it's another 'rule': dinner can only be had at home, food eaten outdoors doens't count as dinner. I say leave well-enough alone because most of us will never eat in normal patterns, and if he has eating issues, poking at them could make them a lot worse; trying to find a relatively harmless snack-food for cravings that he'll tolerate instead of candy / full meals (e.g. cereal) might be a good idea. "Doesn't like loud conversations" sounds like noise-defensiveness, and that's easily managed in this situation - music/headphones, earplugs, or turning on a noisy item like a fan (I use a taped fan-noise in this situation - if it's the same as for me, conversations are "overloading" because of the variability rather than the noise per se). Watch out for future issues with sirens, alarms etc. The hugging one is new to me I'm afraid... Current best guess of 'he's made up a rule' sounds most plausible since he isn't tactile-defensive. How to convince him it's OK I don't know, social stories maybe?
