Love your kid <3 (rant)
You know, after I realized that I couldn't be a vet (because I couldn't give animals shots!! !) I only ever wanted to be an artist. I went to a fairly prestigious art college and at my graduation, while my parents conversed with other parents, i distinctly remembering hearing my father tell Mr. Well Heeled Doctor and Proud Father of the Valadictorian that he paid for a doctor and got a starving artist.
My dad laughed somewhat bitterly at his own joke.
Mr Proud doctor/father kinda cringed.
I was mortified that he had so little faith in me.
Parents have the ability to shape who their kids will be and how successful they will be in life despite whatever challenges they may have been born with. Love and support go a long long way...
this is absolutely true!! ! i can remember vividly my mom telling us all our lives that we could be anything in the world we wanted if we set our minds to it... but that no matter what we chose if it made us happy she would be happy for us.. i'd say i was pretty lucky...
art is fantasic too just think how many people you get to touch with it.. as opposed to all the animals
My mom keeps telling me I can do anything but I think that is BS because no one can do anything. What does she mean by anything? Can I magically try so hard I can get rid of my learning disability and do any school work if I try hard enough and be a mathematician or a vet or be a chemist? No one can do anything or else everyone be going out into space or everyone be able to be singers or artists or fashion designers or doctors. Not possible. We are all limited.
And I never asked what she meant by 'anything.' I am happy she never shot me down or try holding me back. Though I have felt in the past she was holding me back because she wouldn't let me get a job then or go on the honor roll trip in 8th grade or would even let me read this book about kids killing because it was a "bad influence for me." I have heard about parents holding their aspie kids back by babying them and not letting them get jobs and helping them be independent. Instead they just want them to stay at home and not let them make mistakes or learn from their consequences or experience. Not even try and teach them anything just because they have AS. They just shoot them down so eventually they start holding themselves back and not even try anything because they think they can't because of their AS. They have been brainwashed so they start using it as an excuse too.
well i cannot speak for your mom of course... mine simply ment that if i wanted to be an artist and i put everything i had into it that i could do it.. now keeping in mind she never expected that i would be the best artist or that i'd accel at it but that i'd love whatever i did and that as long as it was somthing i loved i could..
I think that yes there are area's some are better at than others.. and even in the same fields some will do better than others.. but i think the intent of a parent at least mine was to encourage me not to give up on my dreams is all.. and that even if i wasn't the very best if it made me happy i could do it.
what her motivational speech did for me all those years was to remind me to try try again in those things i really really wanted to do. I dont think she literally thought i could be president lol or an astronaut or mathmatician but then i didn't want to do those things anyway
I agree somtimes it does nobody any good to put them into a protective shield that never allows them to fail or to experience!! ! how will you ever know what you want or what you enjoy if you dont get to live.
And I never asked what she meant by 'anything.' I am happy she never shot me down or try holding me back. Though I have felt in the past she was holding me back because she wouldn't let me get a job then or go on the honor roll trip in 8th grade or would even let me read this book about kids killing because it was a "bad influence for me." I have heard about parents holding their aspie kids back by babying them and not letting them get jobs and helping them be independent. Instead they just want them to stay at home and not let them make mistakes or learn from their consequences or experience. Not even try and teach them anything just because they have AS. They just shoot them down so eventually they start holding themselves back and not even try anything because they think they can't because of their AS. They have been brainwashed so they start using it as an excuse too.
I don't think she means you can 'do anything' but that you can accomplish whatever it is you set as your own goal. As your mother she has faith in you, your talents and abilities to be successful no matter what it is you choose to do. Her comment is a way of supporting you - letting you know that the only real limits you have in life are the ones you place on yourself.
Just as an example: Say you wanted to be a writer. But also say you have dyslexia. Because of your dyslexia you decide to abandon your dream of writing without ever really trying.
I don't think she wants you to view your challenges as limits that determine what you can and cannot do. I think you are absolutely correct - those who 'blame' their condition on the state of their life could very well have had extremely unsupportive unbringings.
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