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OhNowIGetIt
Pileated woodpecker
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20 Apr 2011, 6:28 pm

I agree about the mourning phase. After I got all excited to know what was really up with my brain, and my AS kids brains, I had this. I felt really sad feeling like no matter what we did we wouldn't be the "same" as others, never be "let in". Even if we were ever let in it wouldn't matter b/c the whole bit would be too exhausting to be rewarding for us. I just wanted to crawl in a hole with my little aspies and live in our own world, where things made sense to us. I was down for awhile, I had to pull myself up by my bootstraps and find the good in it all. Had to find new motivation to re-enter the world with my newfound knowledge.

my ex had his mourning period, but i think he is still in it! "woe is me, I married an asperger, she produced aspie offspring, whats an NT to do!" lol, he is still determined to be a loving father I hope without the marrital struggle he will do it.



draelynn
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20 Apr 2011, 6:52 pm

OhNowIGetIt wrote:
my ex had his mourning period, but i think he is still in it! "woe is me, I married an asperger, she produced aspie offspring, whats an NT to do!" lol, he is still determined to be a loving father I hope without the marrital struggle he will do it.


I find this to be so prevalent. Why is it okay to expect the Aspie to work towards 'being normal' yet it is okay for the NT to expect sympathy for 'what he's going through?' Isn't asking both partners to meet half way alot more effective than putting all of the expectation and effort on a single partner? There is nothing in couples therapy that would ever suggest such a thing yet when it comes to AS, or any other neuro dx, it is the norm.

Stuck in the box. I think I prefer that to NT. It seems to be more apropriate at times.

(sorry - I have a less than understanding SO too. I'm feeling your same frustration!)



BassMan_720
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24 Apr 2011, 9:11 am

I'd just like to say a strong thanks again. I have not been able to get near a PC for a few days. I read some of the posts on my phone on the way to work on Thursday. It brought a tear to my eye and a feeling that I was not alone.



OhNowIGetIt
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Joined: 23 Jun 2009
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24 Apr 2011, 11:35 am

You made it full circle, BassMan720. I do believe that was a tear of.... empathy. You can relate, you feel, you sympothise and have empathy for what we, too, are going through or have been through.

Yes?