Why do you parents feel the need to do this?

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I have 2 sisters and even though we dont have a perfect relationship per say over the years Ive learnt a lot from them and I know that they would be willing to give me some help if I ever need it and Im there for them.

Until I was 14 we pretty much ignored each other most of the times.
When I was 14 I started showing my discomfort over some of the things my parents had taught us that we were meant to do and we
had some heavy discussions(basically they wanted all their children to look as snobbish as possible and due to some issues I had at school I started looking for different forms of clothing I felt more comfortable with and apparently they were concerned about what other people would think of me).

But after some time we´ve come to realize that even though we may not like what the other one is doing we should still make an effort supporting each other and we have been doing a great job this last couple of years.

I have a middle brother who is nineteen years old with Aspergers mild aspergers, a fourteen year old younger brother who is high functioning with autism.
My parents didn't just go off and have another kid. The 19 year old who is closest in age with me. They asked me if I wanted a brother or sister. My dad, whom is mild with aspergers, probably wouldn't have had my brothers if I hadn't discussed it with them. They discussed with both of us when they wanted J bird. They asked us questions and such. And then we got a sibling. lol.

It wasn't as magical as that. And its not lik mom and dad like....okay...creepy...rofl.

But I'm glad my parents asked me. Over them just doing it.

A parent saying that a child needs a baby sister or brother is just an expression for the "parent" saying they want a larger family. It a way of including the current child or children even though they really don't have a say. It's not a punishment. I hated my older brother when I was growing up. He hated me even more because my mother would force him to take me to the movies with him and his friends. As a kid, I never shut up and I would ask a lot of questions during the movie. We'd get into a terribly violent (blood, loose teeth and all) fight until the usher threw us out. Today, I love and respect him a great deal. He thinks I'm still a pain in the ass though.

my first got siblings because of several reasons. first and foremost, because family is the most important thing there is. my SO and i both wanted more kids, and we agree that siblings are good for kids. we both grew up in larger families, both are the youngest, and both of our families are not very close. we both know what its like to have a large family but not be close to them. so its vital to us to foster that relationship between our kids and we really stress the importance of family.

my 5 yr old has classic autism and does not play with other children. his autism is painfully obvious when he is at the playground or at school, he separates himself from the other kids. but when he is with his brothers, you can NOT tell in the same manner that he has autism. with them, the disconnect doesnt exist. the difference in his interactions with "friends" and those with his brothers is like night and day.
family is not the same as friends, its just very different.

i tend to think that a lot of kids with autism, if they are like my son with severe anxiety and fear dealing with social interaction, would benefit from having siblings. that fear and anxiety doesnt exist with siblings. family is more an extension of self than an outsider to fear. it may be easier if the sibling is older and thus always there from the time of the autistic childs birth, rather than being a younger and thus new introduction to the family. but for my son (and probably kids like him), siblings are the only "normal" peer relationships that he has.

my 5 yo autie was riding in the backseat with his 7 yr old NT brother day before yesterday and turned to him and said, "you are the best brother i ever could have."

who can argue with sentiment like that? =)

I was an only child untill i was 7 1/2....that really was a hard adjustment that messed up my relationship with my siblings for most of my life. My sister and I get along sometimes, but most of the time...I think she thinks I am ret*d cause she treats me like it. My brother on the other hand, we get along better as he got older and more mature.

My sister really resented the amount of time mom had to spend with me because of my issues...and felt because she was low matnience that she was left to raise herself...which is not true, mom tried to spend time with her, but after a certain age my sister just pushed her away. However, my relationship with my sister got better once she realized that I have autism, but she still talks down to me alot.

my relationship with my siblings has been a rocky one from the start. I think that if mom had them when I was younger it would not have been so traumatic to me...and them, but I also know that since she was divorced between the time she had me and them...it was not as much possible.

I love my sister and brother...there is so much I wish that I could tell them but cant because of the unspoken things between us.


as far as your brother dominating you...you need to really have a talk with your parrents about that and tell them that they should not allow that.

My niece has three siblings. She was hired by a large corporation who wouldn't even interview anyone with fewer than two siblings because they found that people with more than one sibling have learned negotiating skills to survive.

I was mildly offended by this thread, because I'd always ask my parents the opposite. This is despite the fact that I have an older sister who's more than a decade older than me. When I was 7 or so, I found myself having this conversation with my parents.
"Why did you born [sic] only one kid? I'm so lonely all the time."
"Only one kid? What about your sister?"
"She doesn't count. She's an adult."
(their responses varied)

The truth is, given my sister's age, she was more of a second mother than a sibling, although I'll give her credit for being slightly more understanding of me than my parents were. So even though I had a sister in a biological and legal sense, I still felt like an only child. At the same time, I would have jumped out the window if my parents had a new baby (we lived on the fifth floor in a condo at the time). Because as we've all seen in the media, when parents have a new baby, the older sibling get relegated to the role of "some short person who keeps bothering us when we try to take care of the baby". What I really wanted was a sibling born at the same time as me, a true equal. And I can honestly say I would have had a much happier time growing up, if I had someone to share my childhood with, as opposed to feeling like a Lilliput in Brobdingnag (a Gulliver's Travels reference).

There were times when I found myself wishing there was a law enforcing a "minimum of two children, with an age difference of 5 years of less", with appropriate financial aid for families with low incomes. Now I'm more ambivalent, since the odds are very high that I'll adopt a child-free lifestyle. China is doing a great disservice to an entire generation of children . One saving grace is a very high population density, which mitigates the loneliness factor for only children.

I'm not excluding that possibility. But after you've grown up and left your childhood (and adolescence) in the dust, it's still exponentially better to look back on it when you've had a sibling, as opposed to when you were surrounded by adults. If you got along wonderfully with your siblings when you both were little, you'll get along even more wonderfully as adults. If you fought a lot and "hated each other", chances are, you'll mellow out as adults and be able to at least fall back on each other in situations when you need someone to help you out. This does not situations when one sibling goes down the wrong path and messes up his/her life, but rather both going down similar but different paths, so to speak.

I don't have children yet, but when I do have children, I want to have more than one.

First of all, friends aren't the same. They're not there on family holidays, Christmas days, or any other day that is regarded as special and thus have families together.

Secondly, what happens when parents begin to get old and decisions become difficult.? If you're happy to have that on your shoulders alone then I admire you. Personally, I have two other people to share it with.

As regards my own experience, my brother is seven years older than me, my sister is four years older than me. Growing up, my brother pretty much ignored me unless he was ordering me around. My sister and I shared a room. We were close until she hit puberty. I lost a friend at that point, and it became worse because she did begin to view herself as my second mother. Anything I told her was told to my mum. I still mistrust her on account of this. I never tell her anything I don't want my parents to know. Not only that, but she always got to choose which sibling was her friend at any given time.

Regardless of these betrayals, I always remember what it was like to have my sister as my friend when we were small. We got new bikes on the same Christmas. I begged her to teach me French when she began to learn. Even though I live abroad, when I see her, things are the same between us. My first meeting with my nephew was her holding him up as a baby in winter and me pulling his one piece suit off. I didn't ask if she needed help, it was just the right thing to do.

Partly I think the distance between me and my siblings was my mum's fault. She never encouraged my brother to be close to me, she just shouted at us if we argued. If I had children, I would remind them not to share secrets, and I would tell the oldest ones to be patient with the little one's lego.

I have to say, however, that it will never be the choice of the children I have as to how many children I do have. That is not their decision to make.

I have siblings, and there's really nothing like such a relationship. I didn't worry about my oldest getting lonely. I worried about them not having family left once my husband and I were gone.

For me i had mine close in age because i had miscarriages and wanted two kids, but everyone is different i think. In my experience my kids are both special needs but they are best friends and they help each other and keep each other active socially so it is a blessing. They are both mainsteamed with supports and doing very well. It was good for my situation at least.

I had my second child because I wanted him.
That is number one.
Nothing to do with my first child being lonely or whathaveyou. I had my baby because I wanted a baby.
And I'm glad I have him.

Now I have two boys. And I'm glad for both.

And yes, I'm glad that the oldest (AS) has a 'friend' that he can't avoid. And yes, I'm glad that my youngest (ADHD) has a 'friend' who can reason with him when he's making illogical choices.

Mostly, I am glad that when I am dead and gone, no matter whether they are social butterflies or total loners, whether they are married or single, they both will know that there is someone else out there that can understand what it was like to grow up in our household. They will have one person on this planet who can understand their history, and so, hopefully, can accept them for their faults. Forgive them for their troubles.

I want both my sons to have SOMEONE, in this world, who might be able to understand them. When I am dead and gone. Which I will be.

That is why I have two children.