Did I have AS as a child and learned coping mechanisms????

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Figured I should chime in here. I'm fairly certain that if the AS diagnosis existed when I was a kid I'd have gotten that label. Now? Doubtful. I am a firm believer in the plasticity of the brain - the brain can develop new pathways, etc, to cope with any deficiencies. We are all constantly developing, even as adults. ASD's don't mean frozen development!

To give you a personal example, I used to have some pretty huge social issues. I had trouble talking to anyone outside the family. I was pretty bad up until jr. high or so. But through many varied life experiences I was able to get over this - for example I worked at a food service job where I was required to interact with the public. Later on, I became an ESL (English as a second language) instructor. I even fronted a band at one point.

I'm not saying I am a party animal now but as you have seen from your own personal experience people do change and develop over time, regardless of any ASD's.

I believe that I am on the spectrum. Definitely. My husband looks at me when we talk about my daughter and myself and says "Uh, you two are EXACTLY the same". He's an aspie too. Good grief....

I need to start having a sense of humor about it. But some days I want to go hide. My life makes more and more sense to me now. I just hope my daughter has it better than me because I work so hard to help her through things (my mother is clueless and is not emotionally available AT ALL...she is a child emotionally it's pretty bad) that my mother never did.

I developed social skills and I have that sense of pride when I get through a conversation, so I know what my daughter is feeling when she is anxious about something and accomplishes things. I know that look too well.

When therapists would tell me that they haven't seen a mother so connected with their child and how I anticipate her reaction to things..... uhm...there's my tipoff right there. I know what she is going to do because my gut/instinct/mental process is the same. Its been very eery, but I guess its been beyond helpful. I don't need books to describe ASD, I breathe it every second of every day.

Oh and also I can add that I know the woman who's sis in law is the head of the research dept at UCLA's autism program and they a study/interview of parents.... 99% of the parents have ASD traits.... the one's that didn't have them??? The kiddos were adopted... NO Joke!! !! !!

But Goodolddays, even if you did have AS as a child, and have fought through and made a great success of things, it doesnt mean that your son will follow your pattern, he is a different individual. I dont mean he won't be successful, he may well be, who knows how his life will turn out, but you seem slightly fixated on the point of, "if I had AS as child and things worked out well for me, then that means all will go well for him, whereas if I was actually NT all along then how can I have hope for him?"
They do say ASD is a hugely wide spectrum, and perhaps you do have a few traits, but have managed to find ways to overcome and compensate.
Looking back on my own childhood, I too would have always been happy with one or two friends, seen individually, did not feel comfortable in groups, felt different in many ways , always felt awkward in my body and not feminine enough, many things that I've read here I can relate to, but probably not enough for a diagnosis.
Now I am a parent to a 13 year old where many of the signs are much more concentrated, but aspects of her I do understand.
By the way I found your life story fascinating reading, it did not seem too long, and I was very impressed by how you taught yourself english so well.
That physical stuff you're experiencing, yes it doesn sound stress based. Why not book yourself a massage? I think it could help a lot.