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InThisTogether
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24 Sep 2012, 8:15 pm

alpineglow wrote:
virtual hugs to inner children of Issit and Fnord and Mootoo


I would adopt all three of you were it possible. I quite like my quirky kids and I quite like that they don't seem to mind that I am not a "cool" or "trendy" mom. ;)

On a serious note, I always feel genuinely sad when people talk about having a bad childhood or feeling alone in the world. And I feel angry at your parents for not doing a better job. But then I look at my own father and realize that sometimes parents do the best they can; and it's the best they can do, even when it isn't good enough. <sigh>

Mootoo, if you like to read, I work in elder care and there are countless elders who would love to have someone just sit with them and read or talk. Nothing says it needs to be short term (except, perhaps, life expectancy). There are also a number of younger nursing home residents who do not get many visitors who would love to have someone visit them. People with MS and the like. Lots of "forgotten" people.

Do they have foster programs for grown ups in the UK? They do here...elders who live with a family as opposed to living alone. It's a great program, I think.


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helles
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25 Sep 2012, 1:47 am

The opposite of being adopted would probably also be a possibility, if you like children. In Denmark we have a Grandparents program run by an elder organization. It is sort of voluntary grandparents who are helping young families out, looking after their children once in a while (not like a nanny but more doing what grandparents would do, go to the movies, the zoo, bake a cake etc.).

I know that I could certanitely do with somebody who would wolunteer to take the twins for a walk sometimes :)

A thing like this could also develop into a long lasting friendship.


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CarolyneEuritt
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09 Oct 2012, 11:04 pm

Mootoo wrote:
Kailuamom, most of those activities fall under 'volunteering' and aren't usually of any long-term adoption. If you do actually mean adoption (of people) I did actually think about it once and tried to inquire... but it's virtually impossible for a single person, from the looks of it.

Prof_Pretorius, no, I have got nothing to do with them anymore.



Hey Mootoo,

Try getting involved with Big Brothers Big Sisters! It's a long-term commitment to a kiddo that lasts until they graduate; and by that time you're usually more a part of their family than anything else. My kiddo has a Big Sister that has been with her since middle school; she's now 19, graduated, and she and her mentor still hang out at least once a month. She's always invited to all family events like birthday parties, etc.

If you don't have a local chapter of BBBS, look for any other organization that mentors to kids; these programs are usually much more long term because they revolve around kids. Most programs involving children try to be as reliable and stable as possible.

And let me tell you, nothing makes you feel more special than having some kiddo think you're the coolest person on the planet!



Mootoo
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29 Jul 2013, 6:34 am

The last couple of suggestions, which appear to be basically about adoption (BBBS seems to be an American organization): well, even a stable family often has trouble adopting, with all its bureaucracy... which means it will almost certainly be impossible for a single person (which is unfair to the single person, as the couple/family already have each other, though I suppose fair to the adopted child - although, because of this there are many unadopted children). I did actually once think of this after watching Despicable Me (where the 'antagonist' adopts some children in order to effect an evil plan, only to fall for their cuteness. I did send an initial email inquiry but after reading up about it more I just left it, so it's likely to be impossible (and, at any rate, I'm not sure what I'd be getting myself into... I had problems caring for some guinea pigs two years ago, so I'll likely end up with some problems with this too, were it to happen... although at least I'd have different issues from the ones I currently have).

By the way, this thread, it appears, actually prompted someone to message me (although, bizarrely, this thread is the one that made him curious about me initially), because they could relate to what was said in my first post, and I ended up spending a surprising seven months not alone... until he found other company. So, yeah, I'm currently going insane once again, the usual.



DW_a_mom
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29 Jul 2013, 12:59 pm

There are a lot of alone states required to end up with the right "not alone" situation. Don't give up.


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29 Jul 2013, 6:52 pm

Kailuamom has a great suggestion. You don't have to formally adopt anyone, but you could be of service to others, and perhaps over time you will develop familial type relationships.

My son has always been very good with the elderly. My in-laws have had both their sets of mothers live with them the last few years of their lives. My son is the main grandchild that bonded with them the most. I think the calmness at their advanced age attracted him. He was also very good when we visited my aunt that had Down's Syndrome, and was bedridden the last few months of her life.

I know we have several local assisted living and nursing homes in our area. Some allow people to come and play board games with the residents. I have been trying to fit it into our schedule to start going up there with my son as I think he would really enjoy being there.

If older people aren't your niche, then there are all varieties of charities that are looking for volunteers. If you like art, I know some museums have art docents that give tours and help people in their museums. That is just one example, if you think of your interests, I am sure you can find some organization that can benefit by your volunteerism and hopefully, you can also build some bonds with other people as well.



MMJMOM
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30 Jul 2013, 7:23 am

I think there should be some sort of site where people looking for families can connect. I have a completely dysfunctional family, and my kids therefore, don't have much extended family. Not their faults! I always WISH I could just adopt a grandma or aunts and uncles, or be adopted, etc. We cannot be alone in this....


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Ettina
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30 Jul 2013, 10:36 am

Do you have any pets? They may not be human, but having someone to greet you and snuggle you and keep you company is still pretty special. And it's a lot easier to adopt an animal than a child.



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30 Jul 2013, 10:48 am

^^That's probably a sensible answer. A lot more sensible than the one I was gonna give.


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