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I need advice.........I have removed his SPECIAL INTEREST???

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JoeDirt
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19 Oct 2012, 9:42 am

It's so important- as I alluded to in another thread, it is SO mind-awakening to talk to your child and get a reason that they do something, think something, etc- especially when it is a reason that you never thought of, but when you think about it, makes perfect sense... :D



CockneyRebel
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21 Oct 2012, 10:55 pm

The Kinks are my special interest and The Mid 60s (1964-1967) is my happy place. My mum tried to take my happy place and identity away from me, a little over a month ago. I phoned her all pissed off and asked her, "What do you mean, by live in the present? Do you want me to be more like my younger sister?" My mum said, "All your life, you've been trying to live your life in some decade! First you tried to be the Beatle, than you tried to be the Kink, than you tried to be Austin Powers!" I said, "I was being myself when I was dressing like The Kinks in the Mid 90s. So you do want me to be more like my sister. I've got to go, now. Bye!" My mum said, "Don't hang up on me all pissed off!" I said, "I've got to go, now!" and hung up on her.

My sister hates the 60s and 70s with a passion.

She phoned back to apologize when I was out for a few minutes. I phoned her back and explained that I like a certain part of the 60s more than most people, and that Era is my happy place. She told me that of course I was going to wear the same clothes as The Kinks, because I like them.

If anybody tried to take The Kinks away from me, they wouldn't be able to move for a week. If I was standing next to a drum set, I'd actually hit them over the head with a cymbal petal. Either way, that person would get hurt very badly and I'm not a violent person at all. I'm a Sweet Pea.


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lostintime
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21 Oct 2012, 11:53 pm

FD wrote:
Hi guys, I havnt been here for a while....but now I feel I need your advice once again.

Im upset as I type this as I know my son is doing no harm, and he just Looooves his Mario (Nintendo super Mario Bros) teddies ! ! He is 7yrs and his speech is still delayed. Not that he cannot communicate, he just preferes his own world or Mario. When he needs to communicate, he can do so with wonderful dialect.

He has LOVED many things in the past, buzz lightyear, lego, etc but this Mario thing has blown him away. He has an ipad and loves to watch you tube clips of kids playing Mario Teddies. While he learns so many play skills, and has very advanced play scenarious, which he learns from these clips..........................they are taking over.

I accept that I am not as exciting as Mario, thats okay for me, I know he loves me. But since he has started back in school in September, he cannot focus at all. Its all about Mario. They have held back their Mario Teddies to specific times for him, and we have tried to do the same at home. But he is a clever little fella, and finds ways to play Mario. eg (with a red pencil and a green watering can ! !) and suddenly Mario is always there.

Anyhow his school has said that they are finding it hard to 'reach' him, so we have now gone 'cold turky' and taken away all the teddies. While he is doing really well now on his second night, only believeing that his parents are 'looking for them'! !

He is definitely more engaging, and wanting to be around us as a family, I felt so so bad when he looked into my eyes and said "Please mummy, give me my Mario Teddies back".....................

I am finding it so hard, is it the right thing now that I see him so happy and enganing in a way that he never did before, or should I give in to his very ligitimat call for peace / solitudue??

I trust every participant on this board..........I thank you xx


That's a tough situation your in. How does it go when you introduce him to new things? Maybe you could try introducing him to a variety of new things/situations and maybe he'll be less interested in Mario. Then you can try giving back Mario and see what happens.



rosemund
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22 Oct 2012, 11:25 am

lostintime wrote:


That's a tough situation your in. How does it go when you introduce him to new things? Maybe you could try introducing him to a variety of new things/situations and maybe he'll be less interested in Mario. Then you can try giving back Mario and see what happens.[/quote]

That might help, or because so many of us find our special interests on our own, it may be of no help whatsoever. A third possibility is that the new thing, whatever it is, will become the new special interest that is all-consuming. He's 7, so while I understand the concern, maybe the strategy of Mario Time will work? Explain that Mario can be played with/interacted with at X times of the day, but that your son needs to interact with family too, because you miss him. I think a lot of us get so consumed, that it doesn't occur to us that our family miss us, as we feel fulfilled by our special interest and the mere presence of family being in the room.

I say this as a mother with Asperger's, who has a 14 yr old daughter that has it as well. She's gone from Pokemon to Death Note. I've had to make the agreements of when she can get involved in the special interest, and it's worked out reasonably well. This is not to say that I don't have to remind her often, but she is better able to manage the time as she grows older.