Head banging, tantrums, Christmas tree's...

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I second the idea of a SIMPLE tree - the same type I have right here. Artificial, of course, only about 2-3 feet in height and has fiber-optic lights on it. It's so pretty right out of the box NO decorations need to go on it (or in mouths!)

Good luck though... sounds like you sure have your hands full!

So funny - after reading and posting on this thread, I have a similar story. We have some friends who are almost like family to us, and we spend time together - they have a son the same age as DS who has always been friends with him, and a younger son. They don't quite "get it" although I think they are trying. DS often spends the night at their house, and they've known him long enough to have seen some of the worst of his behavior - he's had many a meltdown when gathering his things to leave, I remember one where he was pelting his shoes at my head and screaming something about hating me or hurting me or some other rant. I got a lecture about "not allowing him to grow up hurting the people he loves" with the implication that we weren't being strict enough and should try corporal punishment. (This was before we knew what it was, and I had zero idea what to do - but I at least knew corporal punishment wasn't it.)

At any rate, their younger son has a friend who presents with a much more stereotypical version of AS. We all went to a tree farm recently. He's kind of obsessive and a bit whiny, and he had a little mini-meltdown (basically, quiet tears) when the food he'd ordered at a restaurant didn't come immediately, but calmed down quickly when he got a rational explanation of what was happening.

My friend kept going on and on about how disabled this child was in comparison to our child and what a saint his parents are, and how lucky we are to have a kid who's barely affected! (I checked the back of my head for shoeprints, but unfortunately that evidence is now several years gone.)

Not to say I know anything about the realities of this kid, but the assumptions made by people who don't really get it...well, you know what they say about assumptions...

Wow!! ! "barely affected" - how frustrating!

A mother that I know (well, I knew her in 5th grade and she felt the need to facebook friend me) posted this big obnoxious picture that so boldly states that "ADHD is caused by parents not giving their children enough attention"! That one really struck a nerve with me because it was that kind of attitude that caused my own autism diagnosis to be delayed by TWENTY years. Of course, people "liked" it and spread the ignorance all around

I hope you unfriended her.

LOL - I guess I roll with the punches, but we are significantly more distant with these friends than we used to be; not sure how else to handle it. I do "hide" an awful lot of people on FB, so I don't have to deal with unfriending.

Problem is, it is very difficult to connect an otherwise "normal" seeming child's outbursts to autism, it's much easier to chalk it up to misbehavior or bad parenting - I can't exactly blame my friends for thinking that way when I'd been doing it to myself for years and years. It wasn't until we got appropriate help and a lot of serious intervention (not to mention all the resources on this board!) that I was able to connect the dots correctly (or at least more correctly.)

That doesn't make it suck less, though.

I see those situations as educational opportunities. After all, if someone "friends" me, they must be willing to know the real me, right? And the real me does not keep my mouth shut.