18yo DS spending 12 hours a day with video games

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You know, I think it could be a combination of things other people have said. I would presume that stocking store shelves is not a special interest of your son's. He may be depressed to not have a clear avenue to doing something he really likes. Aspies really do have more difficulty with this than others, and honestly it is traumatic to anyone to look at a lifetime of doing a job forever that they do not like.

Yes, I know most people have to suck this up. But I really do think for Aspies it is a more painful realization. Can you think of anything he could do for a job (even unpaid at first where he could start a low cost business?) If not, maybe there is something that he could do at maybe a gaming store that had an employee discount? That might help him be more motivated.

The gaming store idea is really great. My friend's college age son worked for an electronics store. He would just talk (he was so knowledgable) and people would buy up everything he talked about.

So

- He had a bunch of interviews for menial jobs with no luck.

- He finally got a job.

- It didn't work out, but instead of having the decency to just fire him, they try and push him out by only giving him one shift a week.

Can you not see how that might be discouraging? I think that anyone in that position might be questioning why they should put in a lot of effort for so little reward.

Yeah, let him live how he wants to.

You forced life onto him, and you're fed up with him not living to your standards?

Playing games and doing a bit of work here or there might just be the life he is capable of. Nothing wrong with that if that's all he can do.

Always good to get him to do chores around the house though. And stick with that if he can't get a job.

I used to sleep in till 2-3pm when I was unemployed and living at home. A big factor for me was depression and also routine. Once you get into that kind of situation where you sleep too much and do not much at all it's hard to get out of it. And you have out of whack sleeping patterns to consider as well.

I think he's done well to have gone to 9 job interviews. That shows patience, perseverance and hard work. So I think he wants to be productive, maybe he's just not sure where to start.

Try giving him some chores around the house like stacking and unloading the dishwasher, doing some vaccuuming or general tidying. Or involve him in cooking meals. Have a clear, objective expectation of his duties around the house. It can be helpful to have them put up on a poster. When houseworky things are in list format, it's easier to tackle them. Otherwise, housework can look a lot like a huge intimidating monolith of stuff to do.

He might also be interested in some volunteer work, like reading to senior citizens at rest homes, volunteering to read to children during storytime at a local library, or maybe volunteering for some office admin. This sort of thing would build up his CV for future job opportunities as well.

I also thought he could try offering to do pet-sitting in the community-with people going on holiday over the Christmas break, that tends to be a bit more in demand.

Wondering if it might work better instead of addressing the video game playing head-on, to come at it sideways?

What I mean is: come up with a goal for your son. Would be ideal if he could set that goal, but if not, set a small attainable goal for him. Something like: Get groomed properly each day. Make his video gaming dependent on the grooming happening first.

Then after that has gone well for awhile, add another attainable goal. Perhaps: Exercise for 30 mins. per day. Do whatever you need to to support whatever kind of exercise he chooses. Provide sports equipment if needed, or drive him to a swimming pool, or whatever it takes.

Then keep slowly adding positive goals. In this way, you will gradually reduce the amount of time he spends playing video games, just by filling up his day with other productive tasks.

Other goals to add:
Volunteering 2 hrs. per week, caring for a pet, do yardwork or specific housework, taking a class of some kind