I'm a very picky eater at age 20. In my case, I'm honestly not setting out to be disrespectful, wasteful or cause trouble-there are just foods that are genuinely, horrifically disgusting to me. I can imagine being in a foreign country with unpredictable foods would make things more stressful.
Here are some things that help me with food:
1. Introduce only one new or difficult food per meal. It can be very intimidating to have more than one difficult food on your plate at a time. It gets overwhelming.
2. Don't pressure her to try new or disliked foods. Offer them, but if she says no leave it at that. No "just one bite", no "but everyone else likes it!" no "but how can you know you don't like it if you don't try it?". When people try to pressure me into eating something I dislike, I feel embarrassed and awkward, and I definitely won't want to try the food now that it has been made into a pressure-filled situation. However, if there isn't any pressure, I will sometimes try a new food. Because I don't feel like everyone is watching me and paying attention to whether or not I eat it.
3. If she does try something new, don't make a fuss about that either. That also creates pressure. Pressure for her to eat that food again, pressure for her to like it, pressure for her to try another new food next mealtime.
4. Don't get drawn into a fight. If she doesn't like something, just say "well, that's what we're having for dinner, so too bad". Don't engage beyond that. Do not escalate things further-everything will just get blown out of proportion.
5. Ask her what she wants before putting food on her plate. This way she feels like she has more agency. Or let her put her own food on her plate-being in complete control of the proportions and everything might help her branch out into new foods.
6. If she tries a previously-hated food and finds she likes it, do not gloat triumphantly. No "I told you so!", no "it wasn't that bad!", no "I thought you HATED that food! Fancy you liking it now!". Definitely no "Look how you tried xyz and found you liked it! Now you can try all these other foods in case you like them too!" Again, the pressure is overwhelming. If she has been brave enough to try a disliked food, do not use this as a weapon for pressuring her to eat anything else.
Whenever I have added a new food to my repertoire, it has never been due to pressuring from other people. I just decided to try it myself, without any expectations of others. Reading your posts, I also think this sounds a bit like an eating disorder, so professional help may be in order too. Good luck.
15 Dec 2012, 4:28 am
