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ASDsmom
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02 Mar 2013, 11:47 pm

Thanks! I did talk with him yesterday about fungi, bacteria, etc. He seemed receptive but said I was only telling him to scare him. I said, "It's just real life." Does anyone have any good resources about this specifically? Good visuals that talks about germs, fungi, etc?



auntblabby
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02 Mar 2013, 11:49 pm

if toothbrushing is one of his issues, you could try those tablets that show up soiled areas on imperfectly-brushed teeth.



ASDsmom
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03 Mar 2013, 12:12 am

What's in the tablets?



auntblabby
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03 Mar 2013, 12:35 am

plaque disclosing tablets contain red vegetable dye. you can purchase these tablets at any convenience stores like Kroger and Walmart. the main cause of cavities and periodontal disease is the accumulation of plaque. plaque is the sticky film of food and bacteria that forms constantly on your teeth. it's hard to see plaque, but it really shows up after being stained with disclosing tablets. you must completely remove plaque each day, or it will build up and mineralize to become tartar, which is also called calculus. it takes a professional to remove tartar. There's no way for you to remove it at home—a toothbrush or floss won't even budge it. disclosing tablets can help you prevent cavities and periodontal disease by helping you see the plaque that hasn't been removed. then you can remove it before it hardens to become tartar. after brushing and flossing, simply chew a disclosing tablet, swish it around your mouth, and rinse with water. using a small dental mirror, check your teeth for any signs of red, especially near the gum line. brush and floss these missed areas and you can be confident that your teeth are plaque-free. when teaching your child how to brush the teeth or when checking to see if your child has brushed properly, the disclosing tablets are helpful. they reveal the areas that are missed when brushing. your child's brushing technique can improve significantly since he or she can "see" where is the plaque located.



ASDsmom
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03 Mar 2013, 2:05 am

Thanks aunt. Im not sure what happened but teeth brushing is the only thing he is willing to do, suddenly, without my nagging. He goes to the dentist every 3 months for a cleaning so I'm not sure if the hygienist commented. If only he had that same initiative.



Valkyrie2012
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03 Mar 2013, 4:46 am

I thought these were pretty good

http://www.decodedscience.com/possible- ... treet/4123 (scroll down a bit to the part you want - page two has a real gross incentive to hit home on it... loved the bit where it says not everyone get symptoms so you may never know you have it.. oh ew. lol )

I thought this was comical and informative... a tad (or two) gross.. but maybe that is what you need... http://www.smellypoop.com/facts_about_poop.php



Bombaloo
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03 Mar 2013, 2:54 pm

Someone else mentioned this and I remember Temple Gradin saying that puberty made all of her sensory issue WAY worse. Perhaps this is why some of these things are a problem now that didn't used to be. That of course doesn't help solve any of the issues. At least it might help you understand the why of it all.



ASDsmom
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03 Mar 2013, 4:19 pm

I don't know. He doesn't complain about sensory when he's taking a shower, bath, cutting nails, etc. He just doesn't want to do it until I'm on his case. Even his haircut, once he decided he WANTED a cut, we had no issues around it when I was cutting. It's hard to say what's legit and what's avoidance strictly do to not wanting to put in the effort.



Valkyrie2012
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03 Mar 2013, 7:33 pm

ASDsmom wrote:
I don't know. He doesn't complain about sensory when he's taking a shower, bath, cutting nails, etc. He just doesn't want to do it until I'm on his case. Even his haircut, once he decided he WANTED a cut, we had no issues around it when I was cutting. It's hard to say what's legit and what's avoidance strictly do to not wanting to put in the effort.


Until I was in my 30's I didn't understand my avoidance issues were sensory. It is a complex thing. I have been viewed as stubborn - hard headed - obstinate - difficult... I could go on... I never wanted to cause any issues... but I can also tell you I would never have been able to tell you WHY baths were awful. Or WHY milk was foul. All I knew is I did not want to.

As for him making the decision to cut his hair... he made the decision... he was in control... control and preparedness is so very important. I need advance warning in everything. 24 hours works.. days is best...

I had so many fights with my ex husband about closed curtains.. he wanted them open and I demanded them shut. He swore I wanted them shut simply to make him angry. I live alone now and I have not only blinds but thick material tacked over every single window. Back when I was married I was not able to tell him why I needed the curtains closed. I just know I was foul mooded and prone to melt downs with them open. Now I know it is my extreme sensitivity to light.

It isn't always easy to understand the reasons behind why you do something. Also - when I am asked questions out right, especially when I am not expecting them (which is most the time lol) I can't give an answer right then and there. Even in normal conversation sometimes it takes hours and I will be out walking the dog and I will suddenly know what I SHOULD have said. Like it comes in at the speed of a 56 k modem.

So whenever there are issues to discuss I will answer on auto pilot "no" - "I don't know" - **complete silence** - "I don't think so" when in fact really the answers are "yes" - "I can't tell you right now" - "I am unable to talk right now" and "I really don't know an answer". The real answers are simply not there because the questions need time to process. So if you have sat down with your son, maybe he is answering on autopilot. Do you know some things take years to process? Not even just hours.

Here is a link to a great article.. well half article... it seems to cut half way through now... but it talks about a lot of the stuff I talk about. http://www.autismtoday.com/articles/Dif ... iences.htm

I am not an expert... but I do live with these issues you are addressing. They are difficult to deal with, I know... but it isn't easy to be the one with the issues either... it isn't like you woke up one day deciding you want to be stinky and gross in other peoples eyes. A lot of day to day living is pure survival... Forget what society expects of you.. you are simply happy to have made it through another day without too much stress, pain, confrontations and expelling more energy than you possess.

It is not being lazy. Stubbornness. Or any of those other things we get labeled so easily. There are two yardsticks. An NT yardstick and an Aspie/Autie yardstick. Measure us with that NT yardstick and we are misunderstood, rude, careless, thoughtless... Measure with the Aspie/Autie yardstick and those very issues are actually honesty, no beating around the social bush, sensory issues, black and white colored thinking...

This started out as a post in response to your thread. I think somewhere along the way I side tracked myself and I hope it didn't come off as an attack... because it wasn't meant to... just hoping to put in some personal experience/perspective into a very complex way of life.



ASDsmom
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03 Mar 2013, 8:26 pm

I'm not taking your response as an attack, at all. I know it's your perspective, whether right or wrong. It's something to think about anyway. I am highly irritated with him right now. Not about the subject at hand but over other issues. It's been a rough weekend - partly with me too. Just in a blah mood..



Valkyrie2012
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03 Mar 2013, 8:28 pm

ASDsmom wrote:
I'm not taking your response as an attack, at all. I know it's your perspective, whether right or wrong. It's something to think about anyway. I am highly irritated with him right now. Not about the subject at hand but over other issues. It's been a rough weekend - partly with me too. Just in a blah mood..


Sorry it has been a rough weekend.. hope it gets easier for you soon.



ASDsmom
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03 Mar 2013, 8:56 pm

Thanks Val!



mikassyna
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03 Mar 2013, 9:34 pm

Valkyrie2012 wrote:
As for him making the decision to cut his hair... he made the decision... he was in control... control and preparedness is so very important. I need advance warning in everything. 24 hours works.. days is best...

It isn't always easy to understand the reasons behind why you do something. Also - when I am asked questions out right, especially when I am not expecting them (which is most the time lol) I can't give an answer right then and there. Even in normal conversation sometimes it takes hours and I will be out walking the dog and I will suddenly know what I SHOULD have said. Like it comes in at the speed of a 56 k modem.

So whenever there are issues to discuss I will answer on auto pilot "no" - "I don't know" - **complete silence** - "I don't think so" when in fact really the answers are "yes" - "I can't tell you right now" - "I am unable to talk right now" and "I really don't know an answer". The real answers are simply not there because the questions need time to process. So if you have sat down with your son, maybe he is answering on autopilot. Do you know some things take years to process? Not even just hours


Oh wow, this resonates so well with me. I often know the answer to something when asked permission by my kid to do something, but have a hard time articulating my reasons. It often comes off as if I'm being unreasonable because there are so many factors that go into a decision but I just can't line really identify them all at the moment or find the words to express them in any understandable way. It is so frustrating! And forget confrontations! If I could be graded on handling confrontations I would FAIL. And yes, I also need LOTS of advance warning for any change of plans. I go into crisis mode. My husband never understood why I would become a basket case whenever someone tried to modify something on the calendar. It feels like someone pulling out a card from a house of cards.



sherrafina
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17 Apr 2013, 12:07 pm

My 15 year old son went through the exact same thing! We worked on one thing at a time. Eventually, he came around, but I think that was due more to peer pressure than anything else.

The bathrooming is a different animal, though. We still struggle with wiping (my son also has CP), but at least it is not a sensory problem. He likes to feel clean now, but getting himself clean is hard for him. Good luck!


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17 Apr 2013, 2:24 pm

Did flushable wipes get mentioned here already? We use those, and find them to be both easier and gentler and also more effective.

Anyway, I found this article that spells it all out, it may work better than you. I am guessing there is something underlying the problem that he may not be able to express, but it's possible that he just doesn't see the consequences and doesn't want to bother - and this may help: http://www.livestrong.com/article/10781 ... l-hygiene/



mikassyna
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17 Apr 2013, 2:33 pm

momsparky wrote:
Did flushable wipes get mentioned here already? We use those, and find them to be both easier and gentler and also more effective.


Flushable wipes ROCK! Every one of our bathrooms has a batch.