Timer meltdown

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I don't think a visual timer is going to be the answer here -- it sounds like it's the concept of a time limit that bothers him, and let's face it, "5 more minutes" is a pretty arbitrary designation. Regardless, if you have a smart phone you can get a visual timer app very cheaply.

At just turning 5 he's likely to have the time-sense and self-regulation ability that is more like what you'd expect in a 3 year old -- ie not much. Hopefully this will improve over the next 2-3 years (it did for us) but it's tough to live through until then. It may help to set the expectation at the BEGINNING of the gaming session, rather than letting him know in the middle. "You can play two Angry Bird levels, and then we will put away the phone." Then stick to it even if he completes the levels quickly, or if you have to wait longer for him to get all the stars (you have to be the one to estimate how long it's going to take, and to err on the side of fewer levels or no gaming if something is time critical.)

I guess the other point I didn't articulate well is that, until he develops some skills - you are going to have to expect some meltdowns. Having a plan in place to deal with meltdowns will be important.

I don't think he has control or is being bratty. I think, legitimately, he is "stuck" and "unsticking" him is extremely distressing. I always think about the MRI scans in Temple Grandin's TED talk when I run into this sort of thing.

Our son "loves" timers, so for us that is a double-edged sword, so I do not use them unless he requests it, and I figure he can still stay on task. We are more specific about "stopping points" in games and that kind of thing, or we use an actual time (adjusted for stopping point--so if it goes a little over, I won't really mind) We use the clock for when certain things start, and stop, when we need to. I do not use it for turn-taking. I just kind of wing it and say it is Daddy's time to talk now, or whatever, when I feel it is time to let someone else talk. I know some people swear by it, but I think my son would misunderstand it and take it too literally and start timing everyone's conversation and inform them when it is no longer their turn. In real life, it does nto quite work that way, and I know, with my son, anyway, I would be setting an unrealistic precedent, assuming he did accept it as valid.