I would be so grateful for some information. uk mum.

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Hiya Daisy sorry i have not responded but you could say my son has kept me on my toes,lol.
I tried to speak to the guy but once he realised who i was he kinda avoided me like the plague and he will not take my calls.
So lets go back to school on wednesday I got a phonecall asking us to collect him as he was sat in the middle of the playground at lunchtime swearing away to himself once he realised the school were really gonna send him home he did try to calm down and settle back into class.
On friday I am convinced he broke some kinda record he goes into school at 8:55am. I got a phone call at 8:59am asking me to collect him straight away as they did not want him there as they could not control him.
He had attacked other parents verbally in the playground calling all the mothers fat sla*s i cannot repeat what he called the dads. When the headteacher rang me i could hear ryan in the background and i was for once in my life totally speechless. I have never heard abuse and swear words like it in all my life. I had to ask her are you sure that is my son. He was rolling over and over banging into the table legs screaming abuse at the headmistress and screaming abuse at me down the phone.
In the end she had to get of the phone cos he was trying to throw himself through the glass doors to escape or if that did not work he was gonna jump through the window. His behaviour can only be described as irrational at that point.
So i kept him home on friday but it was not an official absence despite them refusing to keep him in school.
Someone has suggested that when the school ring asking to send him home that i should say no and insist they keep him within school but i do not know if i want to or can do this.
They broke up on friday for half term and i am very sorry to say its been the longest most difficult week in my life thats how bad he has been.
I had to ground him because he kept calling our neighbours abusive names.
Then on tuesday one of the neighbours had a birthday party and invited my children i explained ryan was having a difficult time at the moment, so maybe not such a good idea but they said he would be fine.
They had a bouncing castle up and within 2 minutes he was told to get of for 5 minutes for jumping on the other children. After 5 minutes he went back onto the castle and started abusing the babies when i say babies i am talking 12-18 months old calling them f***ing little c*nts and when one of the mums told him to get of he told her to shut up you fat sl*g.
Then last night he was being really bad at the dining table and hitting his sisters and trying to fight with his older brother so i sent him into the kitchen when my husband when into the kitchen he had just smacked his 7 year old sister across the face and bruised her cheek and when his dad asked him why did he do it he told my husband to go away before he stabbed him with a butter knife.
I have read extensively nearly anything that i can get my hands on but yes i have read about violent outbursts etc but is the swearing a part of this?? And so much aggression ?? all he wants to do is lash out at anyone who is near enough and to be quite frank i am seriously in need of rechaging,lol.
I have a meeting on thursday morning coincidentally ryans 9th birthday, with the mental health nurse, behavioural therapist, headteacher, and educational welfare officer. I just hope they can give us some ideas on how to cope with ryans violent outbursts and tantrums.

Hiya Daisy sorry i have not responded but you could say my son has kept me on my toes,lol.
I tried to speak to the guy but once he realised who i was he kinda avoided me like the plague and he will not take my calls.
So lets go back to school on wednesday I got a phonecall asking us to collect him as he was sat in the middle of the playground at lunchtime swearing away to himself once he realised the school were really gonna send him home he did try to calm down and settle back into class.
On friday I am convinced he broke some kinda record he goes into school at 8:55am. I got a phone call at 8:59am asking me to collect him straight away as they did not want him there as they could not control him.
He had attacked other parents verbally in the playground calling all the mothers fat sla*s i cannot repeat what he called the dads. When the headteacher rang me i could hear ryan in the background and i was for once in my life totally speechless. I have never heard abuse and swear words like it in all my life. I had to ask her are you sure that is my son. He was rolling over and over banging into the table legs screaming abuse at the headmistress and screaming abuse at me down the phone.
In the end she had to get of the phone cos he was trying to throw himself through the glass doors to escape or if that did not work he was gonna jump through the window. His behaviour can only be described as irrational at that point.
So i kept him home on friday but it was not an official absence despite them refusing to keep him in school.
Someone has suggested that when the school ring asking to send him home that i should say no and insist they keep him within school but i do not know if i want to or can do this.
They broke up on friday for half term and i am very sorry to say its been the longest most difficult week in my life thats how bad he has been.
I had to ground him because he kept calling our neighbours abusive names.
Then on tuesday one of the neighbours had a birthday party and invited my children i explained ryan was having a difficult time at the moment, so maybe not such a good idea but they said he would be fine.
They had a bouncing castle up and within 2 minutes he was told to get of for 5 minutes for jumping on the other children. After 5 minutes he went back onto the castle and started abusing the babies when i say babies i am talking 12-18 months old calling them f***ing little c*nts and when one of the mums told him to get of he told her to shut up you fat sl*g.
Then last night he was being really bad at the dining table and hitting his sisters and trying to fight with his older brother so i sent him into the kitchen when my husband when into the kitchen he had just smacked his 7 year old sister across the face and bruised her cheek and when his dad asked him why did he do it he told my husband to go away before he stabbed him with a butter knife.
I have read extensively nearly anything that i can get my hands on but yes i have read about violent outbursts etc but is the swearing a part of this?? And so much aggression ?? all he wants to do is lash out at anyone who is near enough and to be quite frank i am seriously in need of rechaging,lol.
I have a meeting on thursday morning coincidentally ryans 9th birthday, with the mental health nurse, behavioural therapist, headteacher, and educational welfare officer. I just hope they can give us some ideas on how to cope with ryans violent outbursts and tantrums.

Hiya Daisy sorry i have not responded but you could say my son has kept me on my toes,lol.
I tried to speak to the guy but once he realised who i was he kinda avoided me like the plague and he will not take my calls.
So lets go back to school on wednesday I got a phonecall asking us to collect him as he was sat in the middle of the playground at lunchtime swearing away to himself once he realised the school were really gonna send him home he did try to calm down and settle back into class.
On friday I am convinced he broke some kinda record he goes into school at 8:55am. I got a phone call at 8:59am asking me to collect him straight away as they did not want him there as they could not control him.
He had attacked other parents verbally in the playground calling all the mothers fat sla*s i cannot repeat what he called the dads. When the headteacher rang me i could hear ryan in the background and i was for once in my life totally speechless. I have never heard abuse and swear words like it in all my life. I had to ask her are you sure that is my son. He was rolling over and over banging into the table legs screaming abuse at the headmistress and screaming abuse at me down the phone.
In the end she had to get of the phone cos he was trying to throw himself through the glass doors to escape or if that did not work he was gonna jump through the window. His behaviour can only be described as irrational at that point.
So i kept him home on friday but it was not an official absence despite them refusing to keep him in school.
Someone has suggested that when the school ring asking to send him home that i should say no and insist they keep him within school but i do not know if i want to or can do this.
They broke up on friday for half term and i am very sorry to say its been the longest most difficult week in my life thats how bad he has been.
I had to ground him because he kept calling our neighbours abusive names.
Then on tuesday one of the neighbours had a birthday party and invited my children i explained ryan was having a difficult time at the moment, so maybe not such a good idea but they said he would be fine.
They had a bouncing castle up and within 2 minutes he was told to get of for 5 minutes for jumping on the other children. After 5 minutes he went back onto the castle and started abusing the babies when i say babies i am talking 12-18 months old calling them f***ing little c*nts and when one of the mums told him to get of he told her to shut up you fat sl*g.
Then last night he was being really bad at the dining table and hitting his sisters and trying to fight with his older brother so i sent him into the kitchen when my husband when into the kitchen he had just smacked his 7 year old sister across the face and bruised her cheek and when his dad asked him why did he do it he told my husband to go away before he stabbed him with a butter knife.
I have read extensively nearly anything that i can get my hands on but yes i have read about violent outbursts etc but is the swearing a part of this?? And so much aggression ?? all he wants to do is lash out at anyone who is near enough and to be quite frank i am seriously in need of rechaging,lol.
I have a meeting on thursday morning coincidentally ryans 9th birthday, with the mental health nurse, behavioural therapist, headteacher, and educational welfare officer. I just hope they can give us some ideas on how to cope with ryans violent outbursts and tantrums.

Hiya Daisy sorry i have not responded but you could say my son has kept me on my toes,lol.
I tried to speak to the guy but once he realised who i was he kinda avoided me like the plague and he will not take my calls.
So lets go back to school on wednesday I got a phonecall asking us to collect him as he was sat in the middle of the playground at lunchtime swearing away to himself once he realised the school were really gonna send him home he did try to calm down and settle back into class.
On friday I am convinced he broke some kinda record he goes into school at 8:55am. I got a phone call at 8:59am asking me to collect him straight away as they did not want him there as they could not control him.
He had attacked other parents verbally in the playground calling all the mothers fat sla*s i cannot repeat what he called the dads. When the headteacher rang me i could hear ryan in the background and i was for once in my life totally speechless. I have never heard abuse and swear words like it in all my life. I had to ask her are you sure that is my son. He was rolling over and over banging into the table legs screaming abuse at the headmistress and screaming abuse at me down the phone.
In the end she had to get of the phone cos he was trying to throw himself through the glass doors to escape or if that did not work he was gonna jump through the window. His behaviour can only be described as irrational at that point.
So i kept him home on friday but it was not an official absence despite them refusing to keep him in school.
Someone has suggested that when the school ring asking to send him home that i should say no and insist they keep him within school but i do not know if i want to or can do this.
They broke up on friday for half term and i am very sorry to say its been the longest most difficult week in my life thats how bad he has been.
I had to ground him because he kept calling our neighbours abusive names.
Then on tuesday one of the neighbours had a birthday party and invited my children i explained ryan was having a difficult time at the moment, so maybe not such a good idea but they said he would be fine.
They had a bouncing castle up and within 2 minutes he was told to get of for 5 minutes for jumping on the other children. After 5 minutes he went back onto the castle and started abusing the babies when i say babies i am talking 12-18 months old calling them f***ing little c*nts and when one of the mums told him to get of he told her to shut up you fat sl*g.
Then last night he was being really bad at the dining table and hitting his sisters and trying to fight with his older brother so i sent him into the kitchen when my husband when into the kitchen he had just smacked his 7 year old sister across the face and bruised her cheek and when his dad asked him why did he do it he told my husband to go away before he stabbed him with a butter knife.
I have read extensively nearly anything that i can get my hands on but yes i have read about violent outbursts etc but is the swearing a part of this?? And so much aggression ?? all he wants to do is lash out at anyone who is near enough and to be quite frank i am seriously in need of rechaging,lol.
I have a meeting on thursday morning coincidentally ryans 9th birthday, with the mental health nurse, behavioural therapist, headteacher, and educational welfare officer. I just hope they can give us some ideas on how to cope with ryans violent outbursts and tantrums.

Hiya Daisy sorry i have not responded but you could say my son has kept me on my toes,lol.
I tried to speak to the guy but once he realised who i was he kinda avoided me like the plague and he will not take my calls.
So lets go back to school on wednesday I got a phonecall asking us to collect him as he was sat in the middle of the playground at lunchtime swearing away to himself once he realised the school were really gonna send him home he did try to calm down and settle back into class.
On friday I am convinced he broke some kinda record he goes into school at 8:55am. I got a phone call at 8:59am asking me to collect him straight away as they did not want him there as they could not control him.
He had attacked other parents verbally in the playground calling all the mothers fat sla*s i cannot repeat what he called the dads. When the headteacher rang me i could hear ryan in the background and i was for once in my life totally speechless. I have never heard abuse and swear words like it in all my life. I had to ask her are you sure that is my son. He was rolling over and over banging into the table legs screaming abuse at the headmistress and screaming abuse at me down the phone.
In the end she had to get of the phone cos he was trying to throw himself through the glass doors to escape or if that did not work he was gonna jump through the window. His behaviour can only be described as irrational at that point.
So i kept him home on friday but it was not an official absence despite them refusing to keep him in school.
Someone has suggested that when the school ring asking to send him home that i should say no and insist they keep him within school but i do not know if i want to or can do this.
They broke up on friday for half term and i am very sorry to say its been the longest most difficult week in my life thats how bad he has been.
I had to ground him because he kept calling our neighbours abusive names.
Then on tuesday one of the neighbours had a birthday party and invited my children i explained ryan was having a difficult time at the moment, so maybe not such a good idea but they said he would be fine.
They had a bouncing castle up and within 2 minutes he was told to get of for 5 minutes for jumping on the other children. After 5 minutes he went back onto the castle and started abusing the babies when i say babies i am talking 12-18 months old calling them f***ing little c*nts and when one of the mums told him to get of he told her to shut up you fat sl*g.
Then last night he was being really bad at the dining table and hitting his sisters and trying to fight with his older brother so i sent him into the kitchen when my husband when into the kitchen he had just smacked his 7 year old sister across the face and bruised her cheek and when his dad asked him why did he do it he told my husband to go away before he stabbed him with a butter knife.
I have read extensively nearly anything that i can get my hands on but yes i have read about violent outbursts etc but is the swearing a part of this?? And so much aggression ?? all he wants to do is lash out at anyone who is near enough and to be quite frank i am seriously in need of rechaging,lol.
I have a meeting on thursday morning coincidentally ryans 9th birthday, with the mental health nurse, behavioural therapist, headteacher, and educational welfare officer. I just hope they can give us some ideas on how to cope with ryans violent outbursts and tantrums.

Hiya Daisy sorry i have not responded but you could say my son has kept me on my toes,lol.
I tried to speak to the guy but once he realised who i was he kinda avoided me like the plague and he will not take my calls.
So lets go back to school on wednesday I got a phonecall asking us to collect him as he was sat in the middle of the playground at lunchtime swearing away to himself once he realised the school were really gonna send him home he did try to calm down and settle back into class.
On friday I am convinced he broke some kinda record he goes into school at 8:55am. I got a phone call at 8:59am asking me to collect him straight away as they did not want him there as they could not control him.
He had attacked other parents verbally in the playground calling all the mothers fat sla*s i cannot repeat what he called the dads. When the headteacher rang me i could hear ryan in the background and i was for once in my life totally speechless. I have never heard abuse and swear words like it in all my life. I had to ask her are you sure that is my son. He was rolling over and over banging into the table legs screaming abuse at the headmistress and screaming abuse at me down the phone.
In the end she had to get of the phone cos he was trying to throw himself through the glass doors to escape or if that did not work he was gonna jump through the window. His behaviour can only be described as irrational at that point.
So i kept him home on friday but it was not an official absence despite them refusing to keep him in school.
Someone has suggested that when the school ring asking to send him home that i should say no and insist they keep him within school but i do not know if i want to or can do this.
They broke up on friday for half term and i am very sorry to say its been the longest most difficult week in my life thats how bad he has been.
I had to ground him because he kept calling our neighbours abusive names.
Then on tuesday one of the neighbours had a birthday party and invited my children i explained ryan was having a difficult time at the moment, so maybe not such a good idea but they said he would be fine.
They had a bouncing castle up and within 2 minutes he was told to get of for 5 minutes for jumping on the other children. After 5 minutes he went back onto the castle and started abusing the babies when i say babies i am talking 12-18 months old calling them f***ing little c*nts and when one of the mums told him to get of he told her to shut up you fat sl*g.
Then last night he was being really bad at the dining table and hitting his sisters and trying to fight with his older brother so i sent him into the kitchen when my husband when into the kitchen he had just smacked his 7 year old sister across the face and bruised her cheek and when his dad asked him why did he do it he told my husband to go away before he stabbed him with a butter knife.
I have read extensively nearly anything that i can get my hands on but yes i have read about violent outbursts etc but is the swearing a part of this?? And so much aggression ?? all he wants to do is lash out at anyone who is near enough and to be quite frank i am seriously in need of rechaging,lol.
I have a meeting on thursday morning coincidentally ryans 9th birthday, with the mental health nurse, behavioural therapist, headteacher, and educational welfare officer. I just hope they can give us some ideas on how to cope with ryans violent outbursts and tantrums.

Hiya Daisy sorry i have not responded but you could say my son has kept me on my toes,lol.
I tried to speak to the guy but once he realised who i was he kinda avoided me like the plague and he will not take my calls.
So lets go back to school on wednesday I got a phonecall asking us to collect him as he was sat in the middle of the playground at lunchtime swearing away to himself once he realised the school were really gonna send him home he did try to calm down and settle back into class.
On friday I am convinced he broke some kinda record he goes into school at 8:55am. I got a phone call at 8:59am asking me to collect him straight away as they did not want him there as they could not control him.
He had attacked other parents verbally in the playground calling all the mothers fat sla*s i cannot repeat what he called the dads. When the headteacher rang me i could hear ryan in the background and i was for once in my life totally speechless. I have never heard abuse and swear words like it in all my life. I had to ask her are you sure that is my son. He was rolling over and over banging into the table legs screaming abuse at the headmistress and screaming abuse at me down the phone.
In the end she had to get of the phone cos he was trying to throw himself through the glass doors to escape or if that did not work he was gonna jump through the window. His behaviour can only be described as irrational at that point.
So i kept him home on friday but it was not an official absence despite them refusing to keep him in school.
Someone has suggested that when the school ring asking to send him home that i should say no and insist they keep him within school but i do not know if i want to or can do this.
They broke up on friday for half term and i am very sorry to say its been the longest most difficult week in my life thats how bad he has been.
I had to ground him because he kept calling our neighbours abusive names.
Then on tuesday one of the neighbours had a birthday party and invited my children i explained ryan was having a difficult time at the moment, so maybe not such a good idea but they said he would be fine.
They had a bouncing castle up and within 2 minutes he was told to get of for 5 minutes for jumping on the other children. After 5 minutes he went back onto the castle and started abusing the babies when i say babies i am talking 12-18 months old calling them f***ing little c*nts and when one of the mums told him to get of he told her to shut up you fat sl*g.
Then last night he was being really bad at the dining table and hitting his sisters and trying to fight with his older brother so i sent him into the kitchen when my husband when into the kitchen he had just smacked his 7 year old sister across the face and bruised her cheek and when his dad asked him why did he do it he told my husband to go away before he stabbed him with a butter knife.
I have read extensively nearly anything that i can get my hands on but yes i have read about violent outbursts etc but is the swearing a part of this?? And so much aggression ?? all he wants to do is lash out at anyone who is near enough and to be quite frank i am seriously in need of rechaging,lol.
I have a meeting on thursday morning coincidentally ryans 9th birthday, with the mental health nurse, behavioural therapist, headteacher, and educational welfare officer. I just hope they can give us some ideas on how to cope with ryans violent outbursts and tantrums.

Sorry for repeat posts it kept coming up with a debug message and i wrongly assumed it was not posting them,lol.What can I say??

how are things going now?

Hi
I'm also a mum in the uk with an aspie son (he was finally diagnosed 2yr's,i think 2yr's, time has gone so fast).I new there was something different about J from J being 3yrs old, mainly having a high pain thresh hold, other things started to creep in like J not being able to socialize, being very destructive, slower at school than the other kids, the list go's on.
The hardest part was getting J diagnosed, it took yrs of pushing and hounding the teachers to get them to notice any thing different about J's actions, behavior e.c.t and get the doctor's in. (J's teacher's, health vistor e.c.t just kept saying J will catch up to every one else and that boy's are slower than girls), i have 2 girls as well, i new there was some thing different about J.
Eventually we got J diagnosed, an IEP put in place and we started getting J the extra help he so needed.
Saying that J went up a yr in school (to yr 5) and J started hiding under tables, putting his finger's in ear's ( which i know he did to block out the noise from the class), refusing to work in class, i was at my wit's end.
Luckly i came across this web site (by accident) and asked for help which i got, people suggested things like the 3 sided board wich go's on the table while J is working in class,i went back to J's teacher's and suggested this,i was this could'nt be done because of space on the table, some one else suggested J getting a room of his own to work in, again i went back to the teacher's and mentioned this, J eventually was allowed to work in a corridor, and 12month's later J has his own room to work in 4 part of the day which he love's and is allowed time out if needed.
After all the yr's of J getting bullied in side school and out side school, J has started to bully other people (i think J is getting his own back), we are dealing with it. J still talk's to him self and destroy's thing's and wonder's off but since talking to people on this forum i've learned not to panic as much and take each day with J as it come's and deal with his behavior as it happens rather than worry and panic all the time.We still have our bad day's like any one.

J start's senior school this yr where he will have more chance to wonder off (my panicing and worrying will start all over a gain)

Good luck

Hiya Ster, Another day another dollar lol.Well today Ryan went to school at the new time of 9am which means he reaches school about 9:10am, the reason for this is so he does not have to confront the other parents and so avoid trouble before he even gets into the classroom.
When my hubby left Ryan and his 2 sisters at school they were taken straight into assembly and immediately ryan insists that there is a boy in his class who was given him dirty loks. Now Ryans sister who was sat next to him said the boy never even looked at ryan.
Ryan started to perform in assembly like yelling out and just making noises so the headmistress removed him.
He spent the whole morning in year 6 and even stayed in at lunchtime. At lunchtime he was throwing food around and yelling and another child asked him to be quiet please as they wanted to eat their lunch.
Ryan reacted by punching a girl and attempting to kick her in the face. So once again he was removed from the dining room and had his dinner with the headmistress.
After lunch once he clamed down he was able for the first time in 2 months to go and sit in his own classroom for 3 hours.
On the down side cos I guess there has to be one his headmistress did say she is very concerned with him latching onto people and then becoming obsessed. He has recently started this with a boy who used to be his friend and now he harasses him constantly and everytime he sees him he attempts to attack him physically and has to be restrained.
Also he is now developing an obsession with another boy in his class, and keeps trying to attack him as well.
To me this is just further clarification of asperger's as i have read this is a trait of aspergers. Oh well tomorrow will be another day and maybe all will be well.
Thank you for your post fox hope fully this will have an happy ending too for all concerned.

Hi angel_uk 1,

Oh My God, what can i say!! You poor thing, my heart goes out to you, as i read your post i was in awe. You must be stressed to the max. My son also has agression, he lashes out mostly at whoever trys to discipline. If he gets his own way he is fine but as soon as he is expected to behave thats when he has a meltdown, he had a really bad one yesterday when the behavioral specialist came to visit. He was in her face yelling and telling her she wasn't allowed in this house anymore hitting the walls banging the chairs around i was afraid he was going to hit her. Now he has an obseesion with this kid at school as well he follows him around even though he tells him to stop, the teacher had to talk with him several times and yesterday he got sent back to class from gym because he was not cooperating. I know this seems petty compared to what you go through and you know, it is, but i don't know if my son will escalate more as he gets older i think he may. take care, Diana

Hi Tracy,

I read in one of your posts that you didnt have Ryan medicated well i have my son on 2 forms of Ritalin it scared me at first but we had no choice. It helps him tremendously.
It helps him at school to stay focused and it helps him with the agrression we saw a major improvement. Just thought i would mention that. Take Care.

Diana

Hi Angel_UK1,
I hope things are improving for you.
Have you looked into Oppositional Defiant Disorder? It could be co-morbid with the aspergers.

Hiys Daisy, Thanks for responding reading your post about how your son reacts to visitors is pretty much how ryan reacts but usually a lot more verbal.
He starts of by saying who the hell are you, why are you in my house, and get the hell out. If they don't he tells to f**k off. We end up removing him from the situation as he gets so angry and just ends up kicking of for england.
Hi Beautywithin, it is something I have been looking at and I do feel its very possible. Up until now Ryan has 32 out of 35 aspergers symptoms, for O.D.D. its about 3 quarters of the symptoms and he has several symptoms of adhd.
We had a meeting this morning at home while ryan was in school with the headmistress 2 of the behavioural team and the learning mentor.
Before they left school to come to our house ryan was already kicking of. He had gone into class and his regular teacher is of ill today so there was a replacement, he walked in the classroom saw her and threw loads of pencils into the air, ran out of the classroom and ran round and round the playground for 30 minutes, then came back in.
He is no longer allowed out at lunchtime as he can only last about 15 minutes before he becomes aggressive and out of hand.
Anyway today hopefully we have put new measures into place that should help ryan until his statement is being done.
On mondays he will go to his normal school, for the morning he will get 1 to 1 from the learning mentor and spend the afternoon in his class.
Tuesday and Wednesday he will go to a unit which is for children who have been permanently excluded from school this is to prevent him from being excluded and as class sizes are smaller they believe it will help him, and if he improves there they say that can go towards his assessment and will help.
Thursday's he will have the behaviour specialist in class with him working on confidence building and helping ryan to cope with the class enviroment.
Friday for now is an open slot as its undecided whether it will be 1 to 1 or ryan in his classroom.
These measures will help for now I hope, and at least they appear to be doing something towards making ryan's school days more bearable until he is statemented.
So keep your fingers crossed for us. Tracy.

I hope this new approach helps you out.
It is possible to have ODD with ADHD. I know they have a 'Snap IV' checklist which covers them together. Some therapists will push for medication if that is the diagnosis... but in that case, make sure that they take into consideration that he has autism.