Son's first term at community college not going well

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I am sorry that his first college experience has been a bad one. I have couple of suggestions that are slightly different then the others here (all of which were good I think)

Since he is so interested in computers etc have you considered the idea that he could help other people learn how to do technical things online.

I am thinking tutor - and yes I know that requires social skills - but there may be a way for him to do it all online, like a help desk chat or something. He could also create tutorials to post online and sell to people through a website.

Another option that I thought of is his gaming - there are entire you tube channels and websites devoted to specific games. Some of these channels make money through advertising. Basically he can do walk through's of new games and record them, then post them to help other gamers.

I know that an education is important, but he may need to wait a couple of years for his maturity, ability to self motivate and other basic skills catches up.

It is important now that he is an adult to think 'outside' the box. Since he didn't do well in High school it will be important to find a way to use his strengths and help him make a living. The internet provides many ways for anyone to make money, regardless of who they are or what their skills are.

Depending on what he is doing online now he may already have a built in 'audience' to start with that he can grow.

I know being en entreprenuer is not what we normally think about for our kids, but really in today's world I think it may be the future for many of them who may struggle in a 'regular' work environment.

You've mentioned that he is into games and programming; has he done any game or app design? There are free game platforms out there that can be designed upon, and the licensing fees are only due if the game is sold. There is also a market for apps.

There are teenagers out there creating and selling, and it may be possible for your son to make that his "job," at least for the short term. The work can be done from anywhere, although obviously the "how to" is a whole lot easier to find if you live in Silicon Valley.

I would consider telling him that as long as he is actively working on potentially sellable projects for a certain number of hours a day he can not go to school AND not have a paying job - but he HAS to commit to the time, AND to FINISHING the projects. You can also give a deadline for when he has to have something ready at some level for market (a year or two). He will have to decide if he has enough self-motivation in that area to do so; my son has done a little bit of game and app development but admits he doesn't, really, have the self-motivation to get projects into a sellable format; once he knows an idea "works," he loses interest. But everyone is different, and your son may feel that it would be a solid way to use to his time.

I also echo many of Dmarcotte's suggestions; you never know if your son will be one of the lucky ones who can grow a hobby into something that actually makes money, and it is very important for him to learn how to use and market the strengths that he does have, instead of always have to live inside his weaknesses. While the weaknesses will hit him no matter what he does, it will be a lot smoother for him if his strengths are driving his life more than the weaknesses are stalling it.

I think there are some good suggestions here, however I think you may also have to consider the possibility he might not make it in college, might not even be functional for work...not saying that is for sure the case but it is a good idea to consider that possibility and be aware of disability resources in case, especially if you wouldn't be able to support him financially.

I had to drop out of college due to mental issues, not all related to autism...though some of that certainly did tie into the whole thing and after that i did try to find work but failed at that even looking was over-stressing me, in the past have gotten fired from a couple very short lived jobs so yeah I ended up having to apply for disability, I live at home and pay my mom some of the disability income for rent. If she had given the the option 'You can live here if you either continue attending college or work' I would be on the streets...so if your sons autism and possible other mental issues are disabling enough to really prevent him from functioning in college or work you'd want to consider where to proceed from there rather then just abandoning. But just my opinion....Obviously I hope things aren't that severe for him and he could find success in college...either that or if there are technical programs or low level jobs with the chance of moving up to higher paid positions. Are there any resources in your town to help people with autism or other conditions find work also if he does have diagnoses mental issues aside from autism is he getting any treatment for that?

I guess point is if he is like me as far as the level of severity of mental ailments, pushing wont help and...having to either find work or go to college to stay at home would likely be more liable to put him on the streets than turn him into an over-night success. But if hes not as screwed up as me then perhaps he does need more firm sort of encouragement to give him a little push..and help motivation it is kind of hard to say though based on the limited info about this person you've posted.

I guess I would ask what got him through high school? It seems to me like you are doing things that parents of a high school student might have to do...and that isn't unreasonable, considering that the disability sometimes takes the form of having to approach things like your child is younger than they are.

As long as he isn't failing or suicidal or having meltdowns, I think you're doing the right thing. He is missing the structure of high school that got him through the classes that he hated - you are providing that structure for him. Remind him that if he gets through it, it will probably grant him access to classes that he's more interested in, and at least it is significantly less of his free time than high school.

DS is extremely hard to motivate sometimes...we've learned to push and support at the same time. When we notice meltdowns or anxious behavior, we back off. It seems to be paying off: he is heading into high school and is starting to understand that the parts of school he doesn't like often open doors to the stuff he's interested in.