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How do people encourage children?

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whatamess
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11 Sep 2015, 12:25 am

When I read things like this, I am so glad I homeschooled. I know not everyone believes in it and also, not everyone can do it, but for us it works.

Here are some things that really help us:
1. Math - Khan Academy videos...they are the best...practice Operation Math (iPad), terminology and practice, Quizlet
2. Reading, Writing, Vocabulary, Grammar - books that he enjoys...even comic books...we highlight words, add words he doesn't know to Quizlet, etc. Same with writing, as he writes about things he likes.
3. Science/Social Studies - National Geographic, Netflix, Hulu videos, documentaries, etc. For practice Quizlet :-)

My son gets bored if he doesn't like what he is doing, so instead of the dreaded 20-30 problems for math, I split it up and do only 5-10 a day...sometimes I also use a timer (you can get a fun one like Star Wars or similar)...it helps him know that it is NOT the end of the world and see how much time he has left ;-) If he finishes before the time runs out and I check it and everything is 100%, he gets a treat of some sort...you would be amazed how that treat can even be telling "Daddy or the whole Facebook gang", how he got a perfect score on X. ;-) Yes, he's 14 and still enjoys that ;-) He has great self-esteem too ;-)

PS by the way, my son HATED math, so I purchased some educational toys on Amazon and MARSHALLS to help him as well...he enjoyed it much more...he also hated reading, so we read IN HIS BED...relaxed, both on the bed, he reads one paragraph, I read another, we talk about it and try to keep it to 2-4 pages per day...or at least, break it up during the day vs. all in one sitting (actually laying in bed haha)

Good luck!



Waterfalls
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11 Sep 2015, 7:30 am

Thank you, yes, she likes being proud of herself. It's tricky though; she's aware of not being as quick as others and she doesn't believe praise or congratulations are accurate! Does anyone have any way around this? I think it's that desire to be like everyone else thing that I have some trouble figuring out how to respond to......



Spiderpig
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17 Sep 2015, 4:05 pm

I’ve never believed any praise or congratulations I received were accurate, either. I still don’t believe they were, for that matter. I didn’t like receiving them from my parents, because it was the perfect excuse for denying any problem I wanted to solve, and instead focusing on my low self-esteem as if it were the real problem in and of itself. This, in turn, makes a great excuse to dismiss right away any concern I may ever have about anything and denying me any chance to do anything to solve it.

Yes, I depended too much on my parents, and for too long. I still wish I’d had a chance to address reality, rather than being pressured to change my perception of it without actually improving it in any way. I wouldn’t be surprised if other aspies experienced this, too.


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Waterfalls
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17 Sep 2015, 6:26 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
I’ve never believed any praise or congratulations I received were accurate, either. I still don’t believe they were, for that matter. I didn’t like receiving them from my parents, because it was the perfect excuse for denying any problem I wanted to solve, and instead focusing on my low self-esteem as if it were the real problem in and of itself. This, in turn, makes a great excuse to dismiss right away any concern I may ever have about anything and denying me any chance to do anything to solve it.

Yes, I depended too much on my parents, and for too long. I still wish I’d had a chance to address reality, rather than being pressured to change my perception of it without actually improving it in any way. I wouldn’t be surprised if other aspies experienced this, too.

I don't like having my concerns dismissed, you're right about that. I never felt I was overly dependent on my parents, though I may have been. I actually wish I'd been closer to them. I guess there can be problems either way.

That's a good point, that praise might seem wildly inaccurate to my daughter, so while I see progress and feel happy, she sees how far she is from where others are.

Thank you for the suggestion of respecting her dissatisfaction with where she is and though I will still tell her how I feel about her not to dismiss what she feels is negative completely! I will try doing this. :)



m3zomo
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06 Oct 2015, 1:46 pm

Good post and replies, hope you are doing well now

God Bless You


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